I am older now, far much older than I wished I'd be. And sadder too - not the kind that fills your impulse with raw negative emotions, but the kind that becomes your skin. It is wrapped with the unfortunate infinite counts of subtle tragedies; the kind you stop remember it for its literal form but its dull spirit clings onto every purpose of your being; the kind of sadness that ruins any good leftover relationship.
I don't think this sadness will ever go away. It's been an unwanted companion of mine, for way too long. I don't know what else I am left to say or do.