Work was alright today. Sunburns are hurting badly due to constant friction from everywhere. I need to find Miss Low soon regarding the Design Camp 2004. I typed it out as a reminder. I need sleep.

The sun was blasphemy. Skin-scorched, tired to the bone, tear-dried, sand-filled, I still love it. We just kept eating and eating and eating and eating. We bought barbeque groceries from Giants at Parkway's. The 30packs of super-rings was enough to keep us full. Sun tanning today's a blast. I look roasted now and it feels good. Now I'm looking forward to Phoebe's chalet on her birthday, and mum's barbeque.

A surging sensation came over me, the surge so great I could fall so hard. Attempt after attempt I made to turn my back on you, walk away and sturdy that shield behind me so that I wouldn't have to turn back to even bother catching a glimpse of you and feel any foolish hurt. But none of that is possible. I can't comprehend this feeling, but I think I'm stuck on you.

It's hard keeping a friendship. Unfortunately, I'd prefer to keep none.

I apologise for pushing you away. The coldness melted away the moment you stood there, a few metres from me, silent in shock. You're probably the only fool who is able to tolerate my unreasonable self; the only idiot who will be standing right by me even though I've shunned you from me. I'm sorry for the neverending expectations made for you to meet, I'm sorry for the shocks and heartburns. The everchanging world puts me down so constantly. You've been the only one who's always been there to give me mild words of consolation, and those meer words are the ones that really matter the most. The shut walls in me opened up the very moment realisation hit on me that you were here when all I needed was for someone to be present to hold me as I crumble and fall. You did all that.

I love you =))

My mental state is out of control and disorientated. Somebody shoot me.

I don't like planning dates and events, or organising them. I used to enjoy doing all these little things, until I realised that noone ever appreciates much of all that I do. And so I am going to wash my hands off all these sort of matters. I hope I get a call from Swenson's to start work today or something, only because I'm suffering from boredom. I want to meet friends whom I haven't seen since school started. While I work, I'll be MIAing from here or wherever (learning from Ingrid).

Got a job at Swenson's that is not paying as well as I had expected. I finally got my new handphone, but my number will remain unchanged. Will be busy working for the next 2 months to earn money to upkeep myself. Went for interview this morning with Dana and Pris, and went to catch Dodgeball after that. The movie was so darn lame that it was funny. Or maybe it was funny only because the company I had was good. Yesterday I bought North's CD, second hand, almost brand new, for $7.90. What a great buy.

Piano lessons were fun, got scores for 4 new pieces, one of which's notes look like a whole canopy forest. Family day without the Dad at home; what kind of family day does that make it? My mum and sis are quarrelling. It's been this way for 2 days and I can't bear any of it much longer. I might just barge out of the house, either that or I'll confine myself in the study or something. I'm going to get down to reading Mitch Albom's 5 People You Meet In Heaven today since I haven't had the time to do that for the past month. I can't wait till tomorrow's briefing for the Design Camp with the other girls and my boy. I can't wait to go town to shop for casual beach slippers tomorrow. I need to shop and I need to suntan. My brown's fading away since I haven't been actually tanning for almost six months already.

Today and yesterday was absolutely crazy. There was no presentation for Visual Literacy yesterday, but almost everyone was late for lectures as usual. The sunshine was blocked in the afternoon, and the girls couldn't hit the beach for blading as planned. Instead we headed for Parkway Building for pool. We played approximately 2 hours of pool, for $6.80 which is mighty cheap as compared to the rates else where. On our way to the pool place, we got into this pet shop along the line of shops nearby. There was this Siberian Husky who poo-ed in its kennel, paced in circles around that pile of shit, and literally licked and ate its shit. What a sight it was. Then to Dana's house it was after that. We had our movie marathoned as scheduled since weeks ago and guess what? We watched the box for a whole 10 hours plus, not continuously though. Just For Laughs, Iron Lady II, Rose Red (243 minutes, which equals to 4 hours and 3 minutes), Meteor Garden I (haha) and Jeepers Creepers II. Rose Red was so intriguing, although the movie was lengthy. Today is Yellow Ribbon day, and Mum got 11 free tickets to the concert at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Pris, Dana, Kelvin and myself went for it, and it was something new from the monotonous project-filled days I've been having at school. After the concert comes the interesting bit where we lost our way trying to search for a bus stop. We took a long route through dark paths. The 3 girls were so scared that we grabbed Kelvin just to feel more secure about the entire situation. It was really dark and remote path to be taking to be getting to a bus stop. We used the light-pens we had gotten from the goodie bags the concert gave for free and the light from Dana's * button in her handphone to provide us light to guide us out of that dark path. Sheesh. We went to Bedok interchange's hawker centre to buy some drinks and supper snacks, then we headed home. I'm exhausted right now, but these 2 days have been the best days I've had in months.

If I took a step towards you, would you take a step back from me or would you move forward to embrace that single step I made?

Bye bye semester 1! No more heavy eye bags for the next 2 months. Wee u weet!

Wings you have given
I am ignorant to anxiety
No height can wear me down
We had an agreement
Surges of relief
Neither of us sheds a tear
I move ahead with you