These conversations pertaining to faith and God are cushioning a lot of my queries, and enlightening at the same time.

If God will bring me to it, He will bring me through it. All I need to do now, is harness the faith.

Reality twitched, and frolicked about a suspicious mind. The mind is emblazoned with the darkness of thoughts; the metal crashes against frequency of nature. Alas, a peek of light paved its way to my vision; the resounding noises resided, and I was lifted away from the suck of doom. There, my soul meditated a pray or two and I inhaled rest. God has been kinder.

Happy belated birthday, Ah P. Zouk was fun!

YAY (:

I love you all!

I needed love, and friends swarmed to me; while you were in the midst of romancing a new embarkment. I recognise being here before, somewhere in the drifts and currents of my dreams. The truth extended its grasp for me, long before I unfolded this gigantic bout of obsessive infatuation. So now, I forcefully consume every fact I am chucked with.

Choices embalm our surroundings, and we inevitably shove our faces against these choices, resulting in humanity's wear and tear. The world outside is not so bleak afterall, life is injected with hope and grace, we just need to source the right spots for them.

This is a lesson to me, and to all reading.

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees
And the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

(S)He's everything you want
(S)He's everything you need
(S)He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
(S)He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But (S)he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another
Wound to discover
There's always something more you wish (S)he'd say

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you
And I don't know why

And I don't know
Why
Why

And I don't know

All that aside, I would really like to thank so many people for sticking by me while I was going berserk from her ignoring my calls. I'm pretty sure I hit at least a hundred missed calls for her this week. I'm out of love and relationship, which means I needn't boggle my mind on blogging in profound and mushy expressions. Life will probably bustle around the clock more since I have so much time on my hands.

Waited downstairs her house today and tried to contact her, but to no avail or reply. Maybe she needs time, maybe she needs out.

Anonymous comment-leavers, do leave a name. I would love to return the kind gestures of concern back with your names penned. And, I hope none of you will judge my past relationship or any of its partners (me or her) because we both had our faults and I do not want the blame to be entirely shifted onto either one of us. Let bygones be bygones.

Regardless of how you're going to move on or pretend you've moved on, my love doesn't lessen. It is yours to leave or take. My mobile's always available and waiting for your approach. I'm still here. Remember that, Nique. I love you, even though it may never matter to you again.

You are there, hating
While I am here, waiting
My tears, they flow incessantly
Are yours too, the one I used to lovingly call sweetie?
In fervent prayers, I lifted in pain and shame
You, were in every one of them
I asked Him to send you back
And you, to forgive me for 8 months' worth of bad
Complacent, we both were
The blame for your hurt, I bearingly account for
Take your time, because I will wait
I'll never leave things in the hands of fate
A fourth get-together, I dare not hope for
Because you may never open your doors again, only to get your heart sore
I'm sorry I caused you pain
But I can never withdraw whatever that's keeping you insane
My attempts seemed futile
But I'll daringly travel this longest mile
Come back someday, my home forever open
To you my only love, time to you is my token

Truth is, fifteenth month didn't happen and failed miserably to take place. We wound up in permanent goodbyes. The blame is not to be wholely shifted to either one, because we've inflicted too many blunders to reverse anything back to wherever it was. Turn back time? I can't because if I could, I'd do so much with time being ticked backwards. Indeed, my heart's aching and my tears are staining my eyes with numbness and lingering hurt. But someday, when they stop streaming, that's the day when my life has began on its new leash. I'm not going to delete anything I have archived physically or mentally; it'll be something I will remember always. Regret isn't etched in my thoughts, not even now. I wish you happiness, love, peace and so much more that I couldn't give.

Mummy and June, I don't know how I permitted myself to finally break down to the both of you. I don't know how I let loose of my fears and allowed myself to run to you for refuge. Thank you for listening out to me, even though I know so much is upsetting the both of you. God has blessed me with so much, which unveiled before me last night. Thank you mummy, for putting aside all the hurt you're going through to puppy my woes. I love you both so much.

Friends (you know who you are), thank you for giving me strength.

Now, I just need to pick myself up.

Tension overworked, passion in its perishing vibe, sweat and rescue to fifteen months' salvation, but love remains superfluous.

Our lips part, and the distances lengthen to stretch for miles I can never replace. Your firm embrace releases, causing the the yoke of my convenent to stumble in wild tides of chaos. Words you graciously whisper shoots chills all over my being, as if I've been loved for the very first time. You lay your eyes upon me and I wind up in bashful utterance of the aptness and awkwardness of your gazes. Our receivers hang in silence, yet intimacy professes in word we will never hear or set vision upon. The crowd spinning around us does not mar the balm of obsession between just the both of us. I seem to be relishing every morsel of this repetitive lifestyle with you. Expressions of love is delusioned and transitioned, but is is undaunted, no matter what comes may.

Down this tedious journey, my hands are yours to grip onto whenever life seemingly slips away from your clutch. My eyes will water when your heart slights a crack. My lap will be available for your comfort, whenever things take their toll on you and you need somewhere to rest. My shoulders you will soak those precious crystals onto. My heart, your only home.

Because you see, life is meaningless if it were to further without you. And this path is spaced for you to pave perfectly into, so that the road might soothen.

Sweetheart, no other dedications could amplify such definitions and explanations, only because I love you so dearly. The way we squabble, bicker, fling tantrums, make up, churn amendments, misunderstand, are thoughtful towards each other and provide sweet-nothings; I've never been here before, and I can never afford to lose such perfection I've found.

Happy Fifteenth.

Wondrous nostalgia of a decade. Wearing a exact identity of a school for ten wholesome years. And look here, we've got Cheryl Lio, all grown up and still maturing in many ways. School days truly invite much of the memorable.

Rummaged the wardrobe and discovered an old piece of fashion. Old school, isn't it?








Last but not least, it makes me a very proud and pompous ex-KCian to announce that it's running throughout generations. Two generations of KCians.