The one You should call was standing here all along

School turned out bad.
Results weren't what I had in mind at all
Utterly disappointed with myself.
Reen Fizah and Maira had a good chat today
Took pics during Chemistry
Smiles were god damned cheesy
Sat at bf's place cause her place was vacant.
Met Dear Jazz and Janice at the airport
Arranged to meet up to study
Turns up in the end
The Both of us spent most of the time reconciling.
10:01pm - Got home
Planning not to attend school tomorrow
She planned so too
Seriously need her to study hard
So that after that we'll spend all the time with each other
Without guilt.
Meeting her today meant everything to me
Left the airport at 9pm
Jazz sent Janice home
While dearest sent me home =))
First time brought me right to the lift lobby
Was afraid to hold on to my hand
In case The Mum saw
( You see, I told her of the consequences of The Mum catching me holding her hand )
I miss her already
Reluctant to let go of her hand
Wish we never had to part
Dearest was talking to me on the phone
Being persistent on going online after resting awhile
When she's awfully tired
She ended up so sleepy to the extent of replying only 'ya..' repeatedly
How cute that dearling is.
Silly you
Don't apologise for not being able to accompany me chat
You're tired so you have to rest
I understand alright dear?
*hugs tight
Love you more than words can ever say
Hopefully I'll get to see you tomorrow again


//Everything's alright now, that's all that matters

Giving up must never even be the last straw

Yes yes yes
Was close to giving up
But fortunately,
I'm lucky
My gf loves me =))
Sleep was haunted by migranes,
And thoughts of losing her again
Didn't go school today
Not looking forward to getting back prelim papers.
Went to some foot reflexology centre for fun
Ended up I couldn't undergo any massages
All thanks to The Time Of The Month.
Thank God
Hate massages
Cramps are murdering me.
Early this morning 1+am
Gf sent me this voicemail
Swear it's so sweet
Causes giggles
Love her so much.
Yesterday was probably the worst in my entire life
Reason being,
I was on the verge of giving her up
Mind kept astraying to the thoughts of being gone for good
Me being benovalent caused more grief
But truth is that
Life will aimless and pointless
If there is no Her.
Heart just gets soft once she comes back into the picture
The mistakes would vanish
And never be resurfaced again
But somehow a part of me is gone
Knowing I cannot be loved whole heartedly
Insecurity builds outrageously within me
The confidence I had diminishes
Will this ever happen again
Could you promise me I'll never come to a day
When you take away all that I have? - You
I'm lost in doubt
The disgustingly familiar feeling I had before I met You
Pessimistic thoughts flood me
All you told me was to never give you up
Cause it is I you have chosen
Don't take back your decision ever
I beg of you..


\\I wish I could carry your smile in my heart, For times when my life seems so low

With all the miles that separate, disappear now that I'm dreaming of Your face

In pain
Cramps has gotten into me
Explains the mood swings I've been getting for the past few days.
Will You Wait For Me plays
Stilll misses that best friend,
So badly.
A few people I wish to see so badly now
That best friend and that gf's two of those few.
Here to rabble on me missing the gf again
Every second apart from her feels a drag
It frightens me to be aware that the ex insists on having her back.
Never ever leave
Cause nothing would be left here for me then

There's nothing else to live for

*I promise You forever

I wasn't mean to love like this, Not without You

Went to baby's workplace today
Then her place
Evening was at TM with mum
Shopping.
-Grin-
Anyways,
Swear Sis' a fucking lousy liar
Had liquor at friend's place
Didn't bother to get rid of evidence
Came back reeking mild traces of liquor
And
Lied to Mum she didn't have any
Later confessed to drinking 'Jolly Shandy'
No idea how Mum fell for that
Obviously it isn't
Sis' in my footsteps in the trait of lying
Now she's rambling on about the day to Mum
Just to switch topics.
Baby will be spending the night at Jazz's
Hunny-Bonding sessions
Pray hard they'll behave
Cause she's mine.
So gonna get Dear a new wallet
Hers is like spoilt.
Missing my sweets so much
So so so so much
She's gonna have her Yr End Examinations next week
While I'll take my 'O' Levels in 5 weeks
Fucking short time.
Mug mug mug, Cheryl

**Nothing would rhyme without You

Never wanna live without The Girl

Attended school with the intentions of getting back papers
In the end only 1/2 a paper was given back - Chemistry
Failed papers 1 and 2 though did the practicals really well
Bf and maomao came to school surprisingly
Reen didn't
She was supposed to bring the Neos along
Nvm
She scanned the photos already
Looks nice
Jeff did this 'Jeff Loves Cheryl' piece of writing
Awfully sweet.
This was a portion of Our conversation on her birthday
The rest and strictly Private and Confidential.

ryl^sad : only She can tame this heart of mine..
IcY^bLuE : ?
IcY^bLuE : tame?
ryl^sad : tAme..
IcY^bLuE : i see
ryl^sad : hahas...
IcY^bLuE : haiz...
ryl^sad : she HAS tamed it
IcY^bLuE : i tame for u lolz

25th September 2003

Went great world with reen beng hiu xiu and bhaf
Had a superific time
Bought this pair of earrings that looked awesome
Later took the shuttle bus down to town
Went to buy contacts
Headed to the Neos later
They looked so nice
Only the machine's timer ran out of time
One picture was not doodled on
Bumped into Kel (the ex) at fareast
Were looking at each other like
'Is it really you?'
But never said hi
Took a cab home
Cab fare - $17
Sheesh




**_You're all I need, I can't be Me without You. I love You.

Brilliant = Me

Feeling accomplished.
Managed to configure and activated The MMS
At last.
Tomorrow going for star shots and movie
People going = Dad Mum Hiu Beng Ele(?) Maomao(?)
Mum's buying lemon chicken rice for dinner
Y U M

Didn't get to see her today
She has english orals
It's confirmed
Her exams commence on our First month anniversary
=(
Won't be celebrating
Nevermind we'll have all the time in the world
Every minute that you're not here with me
I'm missing You.
Anger never lasts
You're always there to soften the hardened feelings
To turn from outrageous jealous to pure trust
Then draw the prettiest smie on me.
Deep in You
There's always the knowing
That I love You.

[23:01] * IcY_bLuE i love u too________^_^
[23:02] ____1314___[j]eff_&_[c]heryl___1314_____

Means the world to me
That love is returned
By her.

-=Ryl Loves Jeff=-

Time check 8:01am
Awaken from slumber
To the reminder that work hasn't ended.
Missing the other half.
Fumbling about in bed,
Mind swirling with thoughts of her.
Wondering when will be the next,
I'll see her.
Would You feel it if I was missing you?
Can't be without you.
Without you,
There'd be no Me.


7:48pm
Gf's ex throws herself at her
Brought herself to Gf's doorstep
'Yes yes I trust You don't worry'
Words do not describe the way my emotions react
The capacity of stress overwhelms
What else can I say
Once again
I miss You
Am I there for You whenever You need me?


\\Just a prisoner of your love, a prisoner willing to be imprisoned for forever

Chem's so screwed.
Most of it that was revised and studied didn't come out.
Wad e hell?
Am home this early to rush thru art.
Let's see.

1. Research work
2. Modification
3. Thumbnails
4. Shading schemes
5. Colour schemes
6. Final draft

20 drawings and 10 colour/shading schemes.
Good lord.
Jeff's at school now while I'm at comfort in front of the blog window.
She's already making plans during my O's.
Never fails to cheer me up and ease the burdens.
Just called starhub to activate the MMS.
Had to pose off as Mrs Lio (mum).
Action Mrs Lio.
The man attending to me kept addressing me as 'Mrs Lio'.
Felt weird.
But hey
It's Mrs Ong =)))
Right baby?
Did a little photo taking set up.
Decorated on this little piece of plain paper.
On it marked 'Cheryl Loves Jeff'.
Used torch lights as spot lights.
Quite brilliant actually.
Cheryl, you are a wonder.
Took pictures of it,
Once the MMS is activated,
Will send it to Jeff's phone.
Will she like it?
Alright gotta rush The Art now.
Missing You so much sweetchumps.
Hope You are missing me too.


9:42pm
It's everytime this time of the night,
That I feel blue.
Insecurities, the waiting, the worrying.
A fool in love,
I could mind less.
But please be careful with this toy.
It feels
Feelings ; Too sudden ones may kill.
Now the insecurity may hold me hostage.
Reach out for me,
Before I tumble over
Into that trap that You set me free from.
Cheryl what the fuck are You rambling about?

\\It takes more than just words

Getting all moody today.
Maybe cause she spent the whole day sleeping,
And I'm here missing her terribly.
Attempt to do serious revision for Chemistry was a flop.
In the mood to swear now.
So fuck it all.
Fuck stress.
Fuck life.

Miss Jeff so so so much.
Love her even more,
As usual =)))


>[20:29] *** c_beryl is now known as LuV^jeFf
[20:29] *** IcY_bLuE is now known as LuV^chEr

Help me.
I'm getting crazier in this.
I love You dear


*//_Losing my senses just missing You


Someone To Hold Me Tonight

I just don't understand
Can't help the way I feel
It's crazy but it's true,
'Cause when you touch my hand
I know this feeling's real
Tell me, are you feeling it too?

I know you're scared to show you care
Just let me show you how
Can't you see what you mean to me?
You're all I need right now

I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody who's holding me tight,

Can't say I know for sure
Can't say we'll never part
Never gonna let you go,
You've heard it all before
But listen to your heart
Give me all you've got, and more

Just hold me now and say you'll stay
Be mine tonight, and then
Say you'll never go away
This night will never end

I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well, alright

I wanna get together with you
Ooh, with every beat of my heart
I'm on fire, what can I do?

I just want someone to hold me tonight, oh-oh, yeah-eah
Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well

I just want someone to hold me tonight.
Oh.. Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well
I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody holding me
Somebody loving me
Woh yeah..
Somebody holding me
Somebody loving me
Woh yeah..
I just want someone to hold me tonight


All My Life

I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you
I will never find another lover more precious than you, more precious than you
Girl You are Close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

All my life I pray for someone like you
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

Said I promised to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love You!!!

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I've ever known, your smile on your face, all I see is a glow,
You turned my life around, You picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down & I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too
All my life I pray for someone like you

Chinese paper 1 sucked.
Slept for an hour outta the two.
Paper 2 was a breeze,
Except for the first section.
Went dear's place again today.
Had a very short nap,
Cause she turned to hugging her pillow instead of me?
A heartbreakerish devil when asleep.
That's You dear.
Dear sent me back to Tampines,
Later she went to Macs but I have no idea where she is now.
She hasn't replied since 8 plus.
Went katong mall to watch sis' trial piano exam.
Got my parents both pissed for turning up 2 hours late.
Lazy to blog further.
Real shagged.
Waiting for her reply.
Miss you already baby.
Only Mine that is.

*//_I'm crazy for this girl