When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched as he tried to reassemble it

And my mama swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But, darling, you are the only exception
But you are the only exception

Well, maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now, I had sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

You are the only exception


Paramore - The Only Exception

All this while, it has been difficult finally growing up and realising that there are loving married couples and parents out there; more so when I'm already in my twenties and actually all grown up enough to feel tremendous heart pangs from absorbing the reality of my parents materializing a divorce. While age used to be more tender, I often told myself that it would be easier once I become an adult. But now that I'm where I imagined myself to be many years ago, it feels harder. Perhaps it consumes me deeper at this point for the fact that it is happening. I've always found myself looking for love and eventually being in love with the idea of being in love, knowing that I do not believe in it lasting. I am honestly still a large disbeliever of people and marriage getting together to fulfill a concept of God's greatest sacred gift to a man and a woman. Don't get me wrong. I do believe in marriage. I just don't believe in people committing to it like their promise they would, be it in a relationship or a marriage.

Sure, it's not easy fighting on in a relationship or marriage, with setbacks occurring one after another. But often I riddle myself with the question of how anybody could ever forsake a loved one, especially after such a long term of time. Some tell me that time doesn't matter. Well, it really does to me. The longer you love, the deeper and more mature it becomes. And when it deepens and matures, two people grow from it and become better. With time, comes emotional attachments and sentiments. How are these ever deniable?

And with all that has happened, is happening and is about to happen, I find myself faithless and sometimes, broken apart. I remind myself that Jerome will eventually leave me someday, just like most men do. I urge myself to remember the pain that my mother has been going through, so as to never permit myself to ever near this circumstance of abadonment. I am scared. I am afraid to lose the one(s) I love. I am afraid to feel lonely. I am scared of being forsaken. And hence, I am afraid to love.

"...but it's okay. I have you", so Blair tells Chuck. And yes, everything is okay and everything is going to be okay. I have you. I think I love you more than I myself think I do. All night through, I was kept captive in my thoughts and it hit me that I do want to take care of you for all time, whether or not you will ever end up needing me around for the rest of your lifetime. It shouldn't matter if you'll ever leave, because I have you now and now is all I have.