Alas, an afternoon with a break from the hustle and bustle from work that is not plagued with fatigue of the mental department. The light of day seems to be crystallising every strand of thought of what has happened, what could happen and what is happening now. It is with sheer pride and joy and gratitude that I'm able to say that Benjamin and I have braved through nearly 9 months of wonderful and imperfectly perfect love, and this song seemingly and aptly metaphorises how much we love to be able to have what we have today. When the days and nights dull with thin fragility and affirmative love, I have Ben to cushion the cynic in me. I could have been worse or in worse state than I ever was, but God's love of sending a wonderful man to love me has made life worth journeying.
So much has been detered (referring to the supposed baptism earlier this year) and so much has been lifting up (referring to my third and determined attempt at attaining baptism next year, with Ben consistently urging me with every sense of encouragement). This try at reaching baptism is one that has provided me with optimal motivation, because I know that Ben is right by me to take on this embarkment with me.
The afternoon in solitude has rushed feelings and thankfulness and reflections within me, and shifted me closer to these sensations that I have so long forgotten. I enjoy emotions and I like feeling gratefully fortunate.
This relationship is the first and only that I am lacking the insecurity of being left and abandoned. It almost feels like a solemnisation of an eternity together in love. This feels like a lifetime in its in best perspective.
So this song clearly describes us in tough times, and this song is for you Ben. I love you always and if God permits, I'd love you in heaven when we perish from our bodies.
Errant heat to the star
and the rain let in
the hawser rolls, the vessel’s whole and Christ, it’s thin
Well Iʼd know that you’d offer
would reveal it, though it’s soft and flat
won’t repeat it, cull and coffer’s that
for the soffit, hang this homeward
pry it open with your love
sending lost and alone standing offers
It is steep / it is stone
such recovery
from the daily press, the deepest nest, in keeper’s keep
All the news at the door
such a revelry
well, it’s hocked inside of everything you said to me
It was found what we orphaned
didn’t mention it would serve us picked
said your love is known
I’m standing up on it
aren’t we married?!
I ainʼt living in the dark no more
It’s not a promise, Iʼm just gonna call it
Heavy mitted love
Our love is a star
sure some hazardry
for the light before and after most indefinitely
Danger has been stole away
…
This is us