The division of the flat is finalised and concluded. Less than two weeks before Christmas, yet God couldn't try His best to be more tactful towards my feelings. Perhaps it is the closure my mum needs. But right now, I'm in such a delirious state that the pain feels so surreal. There are shattered pieces of glass across the hall. I am holding onto my dog because she is the only one in this family that is still remotely fondly famliar. She is the only one at this very moment that offers and provides me comfort. She is the only one who feels humane. She is the only one that feels a better emotion called Love. There is more to fear than yet another round of physical violence and anticipation of departures. I don't want to step out and witness once more, how ugly my parents are.

You both, have broken my heart, inside out. You have mercilessly bled my soul dry. You have made me unbelonged. You have made me into a monster without control tonight.

I am human. I, too, can fall too hard. I am breakable, and I have died, again. I wish I literally could, right now.

Faith, Hope, Love, stay close. God, I need You now. Keep me sane. Keep me wanting to stay sane, because all I want now is to be taken away. I don't want to stay here. I don't want to be in this God-forsaken house. I want to ruin myself. But above all, I need to reserve control against what I feel now. So God, where are you now?

I am but a piece of shattered glass on that floor.