Where sense and sensibility falls short.

If birthday wishes really do exist in an invisible immortalised fashion, I'd wish for Mummy and Daddy to stay together, till death do they part. Never in my life, can I ever imagine my life being lived without either one, what more swallowing the processing fact that the divorce is materializing.

Setting my being at the lawyer's firm this day and having to familiarize myself with divorce and marriage annulment jargons, felt whole-heartedly cruel. It made me vulnerable, and as fragile as a child, and it hurt me uncontrollably.

Lord, grant me unwavering faith and impeccable strength. Please, just fix me.

There are tears biting inside my eyes but I am not willing to compromise strength with vulnerability.

If there is one thing in this world I could ever pray with my life's might for, is for married couples to love one another as God loves us, for every fight to cease in existence, for sorrow to never stain any poor soul as it has done to me, for divorce to be abolished from the face of this universe, for hurt never having to be unbearable enough to permit tears falling down anyone's cheek.

This is me, on the edge of relenting to hopelessness and giving up on family. This is me, utterly split in character and emotions. This is me, alive yet dead and dead yet alive.

There is much to be contented and grateful for. For the food that is served everyday on my table, for breathing without medical inhibitions, for disasters never setting history in this little country that I reside in, and even for the little one (Baby) that sticks around whenever I'm home.

But why does sadness always stay for the long haul?

SIM RMIT Student Council's Pioneer Dinner & Dance. Themed Hollywood.

Where friends and fellow councellors come together. A night never to be forgotten.

I thought back, and I actually miss the thrill of the dark romance from my wayward past. No doubt it was painful to swallow and turn around to reminisce, but it was the most exciting years of my love life.

Everything stands monotonous now.

Me turning twenty two happens in fifteen days!

• Nokia E71 in black / Blackberry 8900 in black
  
• Hard disk drive
• Polaroid cartridges (they've stopped retailing these in Singapore)
• Black/brown leather laptop 14.1" casing
• Dark denim skinny jeans 25"
  
• Calculator
• Faux pas black leather jacket/blazer
• Faux pas black leather bandage short skirt
  
• Turquise-green/orange-fuchsia plain bikini
• A boy whose smiles make everything worthwhile
• H5 to get together
• Pots and Desmond to be here again for this year's birthday
• Parents to get along
  

A birthday slightly physically lonelier, but with more love showered by good company and loved ones here in little Singers, what more could a twenty two year old to-be ask for?

So much blood of a heart, splattered mercilessly over the grounds you once treaded on. The pastures have enriched in greener tones in the self-centred choices you have implemented on both our lives. This pool of blood is leeching me and it roots me to the debris of the broken foundation you turned your back on.