August 30th Saturday,
Deadline for O levels art.
Still have two more paintings to go.
Stressed.

New tutor came.
Woah she had this wonderful tan.
But that ain't the point.
The point is...
She taught well and I understood the heehaws she was explaining.
-Beams-
Quite a pleasant day today.
Shall be glad for it.
Almost didn't make it on time for school today.
Deprived of sleep.

Sighs.
I can actually feel the fear.
Of that day.
Approaching in 15 days.
Fate is one hell of a bad planner.
Made this day both joyous and depressing.

Liars.
Why even bother being here?
Why cheat on other's feelings?
Why deceive others just to get what You want?
You do nothing but hurt the people around you.
And amongst those People are those I care about.
So screw you all.
And to the bitches who keep smsing me for Someone,
Quit doing so.

Afraid to fall deeper for You.
The games people play nowadays makes me doubt myself.
Yes it's the lil squabbles that makes a love grow strong,
But what if it's too the squabbles that causes the distances between two person to widen?
Sometimes scars do not fade off.
They are there to stay.
There are times when you cannot accept the fact that great things once happened to you,
And then left you.
It all came and left too soon.
I must be crazy.
Actually went to interchange in the morning to see I would bump into her.
Silly silly.
If I have left one day,
Would You ever miss me?
Girl you brighten up the before-lousy days I have,
You make me contented just knowing that you're happy.
Whenever you speak,
My knees turn weak and I swear I could just watch You from afar.
Though Yes it's not enough.
But look I just want You to be happy,
Regardless of whether it's with or without me.
I'm dying inside to hold you tight.
Yet afraid to tell You I Love You.
Afraid You may not accept them.
Felt hurt when I saw other throw themselves at You.
Will You just say something to make me feel better?
I can't stop these tears from falling.
You left without saying Goodbyes.
People usually do.
Love is a beautiful feeling that can never be measured with other terms.
And I'm in love with You.
I feel bliss just knowing You tried to care.
I'm sorry.
Don't be angry k.

There is something in your smile that brings me contentment..

It's no use lookin' back or wonderin'
Because Love is strange and funny thing.
No matter how hard I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found You
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my Baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with You

Fuck it.
Piano tuition.
Just kills the lil bit of Sunday holiday I have left.

Am I living a lie?
Where I'm standing,
Nothing matters without You.
Why are You different compared to the rest?
Why do I feel tinglish whenever You make me smile?
Why do You care this minute and don't the other?
Why is it that the real things hurt?
Why be afraid to hurt me when lying to me will hurt me more?
Why do I yearn for your attention?
Why can't I be satisfied with what I have right now?
A million questions but not a single answer.
Really don't know who stands where in my life now.
My world feels as if it ends right here.
When life gets too much for me to handle,
I just sit back,
And cry.
Crying never helps but it is the first reaction to sadness,
Don't you think so?

If I'd be gone tomorrow,
Would You know how deep my love goes?
If I was gone forever,
Would You know how much I care?

**I'll be there for better or worse**

See,
This is what happens when I'm home too long.
Heeded Dcd's suggestion and saw this flash mtv.
Imaginations went wild,
I lose confidence in myself once again.
Have no idea what I want anymore.

Thought abt |10|.
Miss her badly.
The one year anniversary is approaching.
Afraid that I will be as emotionally unstable as exactly a year back.
Wished that God hadn't taken her away this soon.
Cherish those you love and those who love you.
You never will know who is next to be taken away.
Your heart is a small miracle,
Using the heart to love is the big miracle.
The last thing on my mind I could live without was |10|.
Yet she ended up to be the first.
Not fair to any of us,
Including her.

+Addicted to You+

Dcd came online just now.
Happy happy,
Long time since we had a good chat.

Best friend is upset and confused today.
To best friend : Don't be too upset yeah?
Will be here for you Always..

Today both |43| and I are studying.
Only got this teensy bit of information from the books into my head.
Can't absorb much.

All I can think about is You.
Why??
When I close my eyes,
There is this perfect picture of You and me.
When I open them,
there never gonna be such a picture..

Walk On By

Every time you walk on by
I try to say something'
But end up with nothing'
Every time you walk on by

I keep my cool
I pretend I'm not in
Every time you come too near
I'm such a fool cause
This love is true
And if I don't tell you
Someone else surely will

Everywhere I turn
I see your face
Reminding me of a higher place
Every time you smile, Angels cry
Every time you walk on by

I'm not the only
Feeling' lonely
Every time you walk on by
I try to say something'
But end up with nothing'
Every time you walk on by

Feeling' lonely

If I ever see you again
This craziness must find an end
I look at you and I promise myself

I'm not the only
Feeling' lonely
Every time you walk on by
I try to say something'
But end up with nothing'
Every time you walk on by

The Moffatts - Always In My Heart

It is You I have loved all along..

Again,
Went out with Fabian and sister.
Uncontrollable crazy dumb peewees the both of them.
But their company was entertaining.

Didn't get replies from Her till 10:16pm.
Was worrying for nothing.
Wada nut I am.
Swore I flooded Her inbox.
Irritant me!
Paranoia.
Suffering big time from it man.
Sorry Dear,
For getting us Both worried.
You're special to me.

Gosh,
The comment system is NOT serving its purpose.
Hardly anyone is commenting.
But please,
Comment kindly
Nothing else already.

<<17 Within You I lose myself. Without You I find myself wanting to become lost again 43>>

Today is special.
That is because,
I'm Hers and She is mine.
She is the one and only |43|.
24th June 2003.
To |43| : I will treasure You in every second that we are together.

Went Science centre today.
Kinda boring.
Enjoyed the Optical Illusions bit.
Was always fascinated by those kinda things.

o+ Minutes turn to hours without You +o

These are pictures from Chiann Huey's Birthday Party..




And this, was taken in school during Book and Music Week.

Still have no idea what to name my dog.
Ivy was its previous name.
Too humane.
Thinking of some name that is more animalic.
Gee did I just come up with the word animalic?

Relationships..
Am I having this phobia of it?
Am I presuming Her to be the Her?
Committing isn't the problem.

|43| has shown me nothing but concern care and understanding.
Thank you so much.
Really appreciate it.

Annabel's staying over tonight.
Fun!
Dog is at kitchen checking out the food.
Mom is pissed at dog for clinging on to her only when there is food.
Adorable fella.

Life is easier to cope with now,
Which is a good thing.

Hey dudes which aren't invited in here,
Quit doing so.
Kindly fuck outta my life for good.
Like you said,
'Don't step in and out of my life as if it was a hotel'
Don't leave a single footprint in my life.
Don't leave traces here and there.

+o As long as You love me o+

The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Fixing A Broken Heart

There was nothing to say
the day she left
just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I held a taxi in the rain
looking for someplace to ease the pain

Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found u there
you really know where to start
fixing a broken heart
you really know what to do
your emotional tools can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart
fixing a broken heart

Now I don't understand what I'm going through
there must be a plan that lead me to you
because the hurt just disappeares
in every moment that you are near

Just like an answered prayer
you made the loneliness easy to bear

You really know where to start
fixing my broken heart
you really know what to do
your emotional tools can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart
fixing a broken heart

Surely the wind will stop falling baby
and I'll forget the past
cuz here we are at last
you really know where to start
fixing a broken heart
you really know what to do
your emotional tools can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart

Fixing a broken heart

I Love You still...

Chiann Huey's Birthday~
Happy 16th Birthday Best Friend!
Love you lots.
Thank you for everything.
Friends forever =)

Sky was online just now.
Get away from my friends you fiendish liar.
I hate you.

My sister.
Fresh new topic in this blog.
I have no idea why I get so frustrated at her at times.
All she needs are her friends.
Mum told me she loves me loads actually.
But what the hell does she do apart from getting me compared as a lower member of the family,
Mess around with my stuff,
Do things to make my blood boil.
But June,
You know you are so dear to me.
You know your big sis loves ya.

To June : I'm sorry for being so mean.
Felt the after effects after lecturing you,
The pain.
Didn't mean to hurt you lil brat.

My world crumbled on me just.
Pei lectured me,
Explains why I'm in such a foul mood.
I'm at a loss of what to do already.
Have tried everything.
It hurts so bad.
Tears were uncontrollable.

Im lost.. Lost in your cruelty now.. Why do I love you?

Time check, 4:46pm
No she has not replied a single message.
She may not be able to make it tomorrow ; Depressed.
Avoided some topic last night while messaging.

Haven't gotten a single call from her.
Maybe she really doesn't give two hoots.
It is heartbreaking.
Ain't interested in others.

Saw a shooting star with Son early in the morning at one plus.
Gawd it was cute.
Quite an unbelievable sight.
But it didn't feel as special as I had thought it would be.
The star's light diminishing downwards as quickly as it came,
Made a wish.
My wish? - Secret.

Waiting for her message since afternoon one plus till now.
Nope, None of it was hers.
Can get quite weary.
Said she cared,
As a friend.
I'm glad for that but somehow it isn't enough.
Need much more than that sort of care.
Can't deny it anymore.
I'm going crazy.
Every minute that I'm still,
All I can think of is her.
Tried as hard as I could to brush the thoughts of her off my mind.
Failed.

Funny thing is,
Haven't mustered enough courage to actually say those three lil words to her.
Seems rather inappropriate.
Irrelevant.

It's not that I can't live without you, It's just that I don't even wanna try..


Your a very warm person who wants to be loved for
who you are. Love means the world to you but
you want it to be right. You have a vision of
perfection when it comes to true love. Just
remember, love is always perfect, but people
never are. You gotta be willing to take the
good with the bad, just as you want people to
except that about you.


What does love mean to you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Runnin' through links,
Casually hopped into Jinger's.
Read her latest entry and was kinda glad that it wasn't one sided.
Glad I sent her that email after much hesitation.
To jinger : sorry for neglecting you at times too..
Love ya mountains Jinger~

K.
Back to Her.
Nope,
No chance.
Probably just wait till the feeling fades,
Regardless of how long it will take me.
Have no idea how to react to this.
Guess I will have to take it positively and wait.

Thanks a million Pops.
For being there to console me and gimme loads of advice on how to deal with this.
Truly appreciate it.

*Thank you everyone for being here for me*

Sometimes it seems that situations are improving,
At times it seems that I've been misleading myself.
Gawd I miss her.

Reminisce

Our first date,
Met up at the bus interchange.
Had this beam on my face,
And this look of contentment displayed from your facial expressions.
You smiled coolly at nervous me.
A decent, smart lookin' person,
I thought to myself.
Dared not touch you,
Not that you were some plague,
Could hardly believe that You were mine then,
Had butterflies in my tummy when you stood next to me.
Fell head over heels for you twice before,
Now thrice.
Took the initiative and held your hand,
Had nervousness written all over my face.
You fell asleep soundly on my shoulders during the journey.
I felt glad.
Kissed endlessly at Our spot.
Felt heavenly.
It reached 5,
You didn't let go of my hand,
Till I had to step home.
Reluctanct.

It was Valentine's Day.
Had difficulties meeting up with you,
Thanks to Mom and Dad obstructing.
Got two pals to help.
Met up with you in the end,
Down at the airport again.
My,
Your touch felt divine.
Told you I loved you now and forever.

It was the final day of exams -- Art.
Chalet went on fine,
Till You and her got tipsy from drinking.
No you can't drink for nuts.
Slept cosily while I embraced you in my arms.
You were just a replica of a baby,
My baby that is.
You got sober soon later.
Then came my turn to drink too much.
Broke down uncontrollably,
You brought me upstairs.
I told you what was troubling me.
You promised you would never leave.
I love you I promised you.
I love you You promised too.

Poly life soon began for you,
Much quicker than we expected it to.
Felt I was losing you.
Phobia you had,
Of losing me too.
Didn't know.
Till one day,
I decided to let you go.
Bent.
Blinded by infatuation.
Turned my attention to someone else.
Rash and stupid mistake.

One day,
Chanced upon the pictures we used to take,
Speaking to you online.
Realised ; I miss your love in every way.
This love story should not be just a page flipped in history's book.
That's because I still love you.
I'm going where my heart will take me,
It's taking me to You.
And no matter what it takes,
I will wait.
Can't let you go,
Not now,
Not ever.


It's been a long while getting from there to here.. I love you..

Emailed Jinger today,
Concerning how I felt.
Pray she will take it positively.
She's someone that mattered most to me.
Ever since Marion left..
Miss the times when we were still so close.

Tires me but that doesn't mean I'm backing out.
I don't wanna give up,
Neither do I want to let go.
Please believe in me.

These words ain't pulling through, Cause I'm still in love with you..

Life still goes on,
I still miss her.
Wish she would display a bit more enthusiasm.
Told me we may or may not have a chance.
God I need that chance.
Fate,
Help me.
Sigh, God, I love her,
And need her even more so.

Didn't feel like talking to Jinger today,
Clings to her friends now.
Hate feeling spare,
Which is exactly what I am.
Have no idea how to put it across to her that I feel neglected by her,
And doubt she would care anyway.
Thought it was just a passing phase,
But no I'm losing the dearest friend I have right now.
Thanks Anju banju for just entertaining me,
Sincerely appreciate it.

Gonna have a BBQ on thurs,
So lookin' forward to it.

[17-1-2] In my biggest picture is a photo of You and Me. Girl You know I've tried. I never took time to see that you were gone. [1314]

Woah.
Art camp was great.
Hard work and extreme fun.
Carried out POJ.
Gen joined in as well,
I'm sure she enjoyed herself.
Finished Dungeons and part of the sky for my art piece.
Felt achieved.
Played soccer when POJ was disrupted by Lobo and Susu.
Managed to play only one round though.
Personally scored Two goals outta Five,
Thrilled.

She messaged me till I fell asleep last night.
Thoroughly enjoyed that part.
Miss her so much.
Contented just knowing she is getting more comfortable talking to me again.
Want this feeling to last forever.
Been a long time since we messaged each other till one of us dozes off.
Miss the feeling,
Got it back last night.
It is a feeling,
Familiar yet distant.
But all the same,
I miss her.
Have decided to put my heart and soul into loving her..

Today is the 14th,
Marks the 10th month.
Whoa,
Time flies unknowingly.
I still miss that gal.
Went church to visit her.
Miss my best friend so dearly,
Yet I can't even feel her now.
Still can't accept the fact she's gone,
In such a tragic way at that.
Marion, I miss you.
Life has been quite miserable without you.
Wish you were here.
Would trade anything just to get you back.
But it all came too late.
Praying to God that she will be happy and safe resting in his arms.


One day I'll finally get the nerve to say
How I feel, I hide away all the pain
I wish you'd stay

Cause I can't stop my world from crying
I'll hold on and I'll keep on trying

I believe there's a way to show you
Even when we are apart
Though the times we're not together
You're always in my heart

Words come a little too late
Now you're gone but I'm still here and
I sing this song all alone
Something's wrong

Cause I can't stop my world from crying
I'll hold on and I'll keep on trying

Off all the things that I regret
Sometimes I forget to say
I love you


I need you for forever, Because you are the only one I have ever loved and will ever love...

Here it is.. my favourite pictures from the hotel stay..

K,
She is not someone new.
Just someone I have been looking for all this while,
But unable to.
Now I just wanna wait for her.
You know who you are.
I will wait for you,
Cause I know I had always been searching for a replica of you,
Or maybe plainly You.
All I ever wanted was You.
Had You once,
Took forgranted,
Lost You.
Would do anything to have You back.
Forgive me for all the wrong I have done,
And the hurt I have caused.
Have thought it over countless times.
I know what I want now,
And it is You.
No matter what I will wait.
Please try,
Cause I won't give up so easily this time.
Once bitten twice shy.
I miss you.


Lol.
Listening to Jun's favourite song blastin' on my winamp.
Senior Junior - Move your feet.
Makes you wanna shake till you drop.

If you only knew how lonely my life has been. Thinking of the past we had, the happiness You had brought into my life, I know that I truly want you...

Have decided to let go.
Once and for all.
Missing her so bad

Justin's in depair now.
Wish I could aid ease her pain,
But shall not probe further.
Pray she will be happy no matter what.

Goody art camp's approaching.
We've got new t shirts for it, exilherated.
Pity 5/2 had to join us.
Spoilers.

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to. Sometimes Goodbye though it hurts in your heart it is the only way for destiny...

Realised how much I missed my friends upon seeing them today
Very glad I have great friends.
Met her after lessons,
Strolled around parkway for a bit,
She was on the brink of setting her mouth on a cigarette,
Upsetted me tons.
Hesitated for a long time to say something,
Till I got quite fed up,
And dragged myself home reluctantly.
Was afraid to hear what ever she wanted to voice out finally,
Didn't know if it would be an I love you or I'm with someone else,
Saying goodbyes are always painful and initially unacceptable.
But, maybe it is time to say Goodbye.
The truth has never been easy on me these days,
Been very harsh indeed.
Will this hurt still linger in years to come?
Will time test this?
Still wondering what she was about to tell me.
But I would rather not hear it.
I don't wanna doubt but I do.
Can't get over what happened.
The case of Ryan and I repeats itself.
Afraid what she wanted to tell me might be unacceptable,
Be it I love you or I'm with someone else.
Just don't want to hear it anymore.
Thinking about her cuts me in deep.
How can you say you love someone while you ask another to be your lover
Does it even make sense?
Girl, the doubt and pain is still living in me.
The truth became a wound since you broke it to me.
Doubts have turned monsterously into imaginations.
Will everything be over soon?
Everything...?

While it rained

A familiar smell lingered across the empty hall,
Then it poured.
I sat by the window reminiscing of you.
The tricklets of rain let themselves loose as if it was their first chance being freed,
The heavens cried,
Ironic seeing the skies releasing their burden,
As I thought of you,
Every drop of the downpour brought flashbacks.
Of friends, of past lovers, of you
The rain brought me back to thinking who I was in the past,
Fulfilled and contented.
Always told you not to let go of my hand, in the past.
Now, Don't let go of my heart.
Regretting will never change the fact that things have happened,
And that it has already been done.
We have had dreams of loving one another for as long as forever lasted.
Even had plans of names for our kids in future.

The sun rays directed themselves to my eyes,
The dreams departed as soon as they arrived.
Contradiction.
Forever didn't seem any more possible.
The pour halted.
My love would never cease.
In silence would be with no regrets.
Your love may fade,
We may distant.
Given time you may pretend never to know me,
Or even erase me from all aspects of your life,
And this all was written just now,
While it rained.


You keep insisting when you know our love's outside the door...

S Club - Say Goodbye

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over and
How we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts is the only way now
For you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love every way

So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cos true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said
In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other standing on the same street corner
No regrets

Each and every head is always written in the stars
If only I can stop the world and make this last

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts is the only way now
For you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love every way

So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cos true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll comfort you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts is the only way now
For you and me
Though its the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love everyday

So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cos a true love never dies

Went visit Marion with Dionne today.
Dionne was just staring intently at her tablet while I said my prayers.
Dionne is one huge eater.
Journey in the bus, she asked me if I loved Her,
Quite hesitant at first to say but she understood that my answer was a Yes
Still dare not let her know.
But I hope she will figure it out soon.
Supposed to meet Slash
She was late, I was impatient,
So I left, Sorry slash.
Girl I wish you would understand how I felt.
I miss her so much,
Wonder if she feels it.
Praying I will not get worn out by this game like she did
Told you upteen times that I love you.
I meant it.
Just want to say I never meant to make you cry.
Hurts me to see you hurt Girl.
Don't want to resist this love any longer.
Again, I'm needing you so much.

Soon the rain will stop falling,
I'll forget the past,
It will all be over.
That's what I'm dreading.
You used to make the loneliness easy to bear.
Now you are making the loneliness unbearable.
I can't imagine any greater fear than waking up without you here,
And though the sun would still shine,
My world would always remain dark.
The moment we met,
Angels whispered 'Perfect'.
The moment we touched,
Angels sang.
I was blessed,
To be loved by you.
It was never easy,
But it was all I had ever asked for.
Girl ,all I need is you to get me to pull through this
Being in love with you was all that I had ever dreamt of
I love you.


A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears, I know, because I've cried.

This is it, one more day to chinese 'O's, nervous.
Quite a nerve wreck these days, no idea why.
She came online not long ago,
Left with a whole lot of negativity in both of us.
Is it gonna remain this way?
Girl I'm still missing you so much.
'You keep insisting when you know our love's out the door'.
What a line, depressing.
Pining for her understanding and affection,
But all I could get through to her was to think negatively.
But baby I'm a fool,
I'm waiting here for you.
Stop fagging, Don't wanna see you like this.
Hurts me in deep, do you realise?
I always cared, have you felt it?
Girl I need you.
You're this this precious to me.
Afraid that this game may tire you soon.

Just got hold of the truth.
Yarp it did hurt, Alot.
Still shaken by what I got to know just.
A friend, ended up as someone who fell for someone I love.
All she said was 'Fine.. believe what you wan to'
Thanks Jinger for helping out, Love you lots.
Thinking of giving up already, will i guess.
That's me.
A million thoughts crammin' in my mind.
Have no idea how to react.
To You : Can you please decide once and for all?
This game had worn her out, I'm sorry.
Should I stay or should I go?
Lord I need the strength to handle this, Give me strength.

To the 'Friend' who I should thank for all this,
Thank you so much.
For straightening out my life.


I dare you to stay and work things out, Cause leaving is taking the easy way out. Back in my life I want you so bad, And losing you means losing all that I had, And this is crazy Girl why cant you see, You're the only one that ever mattered to me..

Some insensible nuts came to wreck the tag board,
So off it goes.
Those people are plain free and bored, yeah those again
Anyway, got back wallet ; pleased.
Those who were clapping yesterday : crying now i figure?
Meet the parents conference today was unexpectedly calm.
Mum did not scold, was quite understanding in fact.
Miss Low helped me even more, Thanks Miss Low.
Hmm really unnecessary for friends to contact any of my ex.
Cause in the end it would all end up like Mich, a plain bitch.
Didnt dare look at me in the eyes today -- Guilt.
Glad that Dad was happy to receive my sms today wishing him Happy Birthday.
Quite weary from studying chinese,
But... Trying my best to persevere.
Fruitfully tried matchmaking Her and Gina last night.
Sat in Dad's car while waiting for Mum and Sis to be done with Miss K,
Seeing the rain plunge hastily after the heat relieved me.
Finally, RAIN.
Why are people so bothered if Im attached or not?
Why do they bother? I doubt I would ever break their hearts.
Why dont they ever rest their cases on me?
Well one thing's for sure, they're lonely.


Why is it I gotta climb a hundred mountains to get you, but all you gotta do is smile to get me?

Many mixed emotions today.
Lost wallet.
Then got back to thinking of memories again.
All remnants of memories in the wallet is gone.
Was it supposed to be symbolic?
Mich made two people in particular quite hurt today,
but i'm sure Bhavna was more hurt.
Pained me to see her cry.
Don't want to see any of my loved ones crying over hurt again.
Feeling worn out inside of me.
Sky and Gina are together right now, ignoring me.
Wonder if i made another mistake.
Girl i wonder if you know im missing you.
Felt contented and glad when you dropped me a message before you headed to bed.
Never did blame you for anything that went wrong.
Instead it made me love and yearn more for you.
But i dare not tell you e depth of this love.
The fear of ultimate rejection holds the bondage of my confession.
Maybe loving you in silence would make me more complete,
than what i'm feeling right now.

Had this made for my most inner feelings.
Im clueless why but i'm bored of the old template.
Me and sky timed out, this time for good i guess.
I have made choices, be wrong or right.
Have to make do and live with it.