My hand is hurting so bad I wish I could stab right through them while I'm lying unconscious in slumber. A blessed teacher's day to all and to me, although the morning does not spell much joy upon me on this spell-casted-skied day.

It's hard to forget the world because you would be deemed selfish either way. The revolving universe stops turning its three-sixties for the victims of accidental selfishness. The only solace to this is sincerity, right down to meticulous thoughtfulness.

So now, it is already morning, with rain fogging everything that vision captures. I'd like to picture how beautiful a rain-filled morning could be, but envisaging wouldn't be it and we both know that.

First/Twentieth months of fourth get-together, stayover, chalet, H5's second anniversary and Notre Dame Le Paris. The mention of it hypes me up. The whole of Wednesday was spent gorging on bits and pieces of food we splurged our money on. Being out with her causes incessant hunger pangs. We'll be taking a trip down to KC in the morning to visit secondary school teachers. It'll be the first time I'm visiting KC in a long while, and with her this round. She bought the sunglasses I eyed for the moment I began my undeciding tantrums. Hopefully, we'll get shopping done soon. I'm experiencing a fanatic bout of urge to shop, something which I have been doing in pittance this month. Also, this blog needs a new facelift. The monotony of this layout is getting to my concern.

You've always been special, since four years ago. The world knows that, but what's important is that you know it. I've loved you all along, my sweet surrealism.

If I lay here,if I just lay here,would you lie with me and just forget the world? I need your grace to remind me to find my own. All that I am, all that I ever was is here in your perfect eyes; they're all I can see.

More to come!

I love running my hands through your hair and watch you strip away all guards against me. I love smothering your cheeks with kisses with you feigning and complaining that I'm saliverating your face, when we both know you secretly savour every peck. I love the way you chase me even though I'm the one who took the walk away. I love you picking food off the menu for me because you know what I love eating, in precise details. You make me love you more when you accept me for squandering money on food.

I guess I just love you. Only your love defeats all flaws I possess. Only you, baby.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; he makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointest my head with oil, my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

He will hold you in the palm of His hand. Rest in peace, Uncle Tom.

The vibe of my indites seem to have simmered down and moved on into a temporary hiatus. Validity of mind control seem to have disabled with you holding the key to my thoughts.

Hours have crawled and I'm still missing you.

Genuine happiness dissipated a long time ago.

I hope to find it back someday.

First day of O$P$ was quite stagnant for many. The crew was warming up while getting used to interacting with one another. At least twenty people were juicing up with pespire in one apartment with equipments.

Second day of shoot was awesome and fun! Got acquainted with the group of talents and watched them bond within the day. I'd say the pick-up ride with the whole cohort of us was the best experience. There were 14 (odd), of us breezing through from Joo Chiat to Tampines in soot and pespire. Filming on first day ended at midnight, at the Taoist wake scene.

Third day wasn't as hectic and squeezy as the first. After which, we decided to head for the coffeeshop to grab something to fill our stomachs. Bumped into a few of the rest and chatted until late. The actors are a hilarious bunch of jokers, and a very enthusiastic bunch at that.It's heartwarming to see the actors come together closely and getting along tremendously well within just two days.

The crew (:

I wish that you could be happy for me sometimes.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Liar!"

And you think what you say is always valid. Your validity is causes my handicap. If a time-out is what you want, have it.

Unconditional love was just talk. Love was supposed to build me and us up, but it has ruined me this night.

You don't seem too proud of this terrible kite tonight. I have failed myself, and you. You have failed yourself like never before. What ever happened to the changes you swore upon, to win a heart you once shredded?

Old days are back, so is my guard.

We're all fools. We've all been fooled. There is so much to risk. There's more to lose. But we're still constantly finding ourselves hot on heels, chasing after love. Only the foolish falls in love with love. I guess that makes me the biggest fool of the latter.

Why do I have to fly
Over every town up and down the line?
I'll die in the clouds above
And you that I defend, I do not love

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind

Where will I meet my fate?
Baby I'm a man, I was born to hate
And when will I meet my end?
In a better time you could be my friend

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side

Where do we go?
I don't even know
My strange old face
And I'm thinking about those days
And I'm thinking about those days

I wake up, it's a bad dream
No one on my side
I was fighting
But I just feel too tired
To be fighting
Guess I'm not the fighting kind
Wouldn't mind it
If you were by my side

This morning's sunrise lunged its lithe beatitude through angles of transparent window panes. I spun a dream of history before it browned and it reverberated tremours of bittersweet joy down my throat. I get nauseous at myself sometimes and if it helps to know, you are the one to help cure this awful bout of sickness and save me from these wretched spells.

If only the second of January was everyday. I never meant to live to explain my agonies to you because my happiness breeds on yours. I'm sorry for being a prick to your sensitivity majority of the time and I'm sorry if I haven't aptly manifested my utmost love towards you.

If you smoke after sex, you are doing it too fast. says:
you know wat shopping does to me and you?
Kimchi soup set, baileys caramel, westlife, you! says:
hahahaha
Kimchi soup set, baileys caramel, westlife, you! says:
make us broke
Kimchi soup set, baileys caramel, westlife, you! says:
=/
If you smoke after sex, you are doing it too fast. says:
no.
If you smoke after sex, you are doing it too fast. says:
all id pray for is a little peace and quiet
If you smoke after sex, you are doing it too fast. says:
for you. if you get a piece, you will be quiet.
Kimchi soup set, baileys caramel, westlife, shopping (lots of it please!) and you! says:
=( so bad
Kimchi soup set, baileys caramel, westlife, shopping (lots of it please!) and you! says:
nabei
If you smoke after sex, you are doing it too fast. says:
hahahahaahahah
If you smoke after sex, you are doing it too fast. says:
love you lar

-Imitates Phoebe's infamous "FFFFFFUCK!"-

I did a little something for you today but I forgot to hand it to you because I got carried away by a certain other matter. You unplugged the ear phones at the resounding voice of Keane whereas my eyes light up with familiarity of a song I love. You gorge on French Fries, whereas I binge on Twister Fries. We yarp when we quarrel and we never seem to be finished justifying our wrongs to rights. We take turns to run away from each other and turn around to run back to each other. Despite all the differences and indifferences, love's never absent.

But for now, you will just have to wreck your head over what little something I did for you today.

-Quoted, www.kaeboy.blogspot.com-

"I shall just be a bitch for once AGAIN and tell u this. this is directed to u! NIQUE CHUA. i Don't see a point in u bloging on and on about Kaesen because if u wanted to be matured then dont bother writing sucha long entry to diss my best friend off! wells i do admit by writing this i am imature but what to do i am 16 wad not like i am 17.. o wait thats ur age!

my best friend has a poor command of english that we all have to admit but at least she does not try to cover whatever she does. she is from a neighbourhood school not like she is in some well reputated school. and u being so sterotypical is not doing any good to UR reputation. o wait.. speaking of reputation.. ok we shall not go there....

Pls act like ur attached... wells blogging about ur friend just makes me think something else. and it would really help if u showed some respect to ur GF and stop going ard revealing all ur personal behind-closed-doors actions. i would appreciate that thank you.

And a gentle reminder, if ur not guilty of something that u did then why bother rebutting about what my best friend writes in her blog? why rebut? why tag? why bother? DID she say she was talking about u?! what makes u so sure that she will talk about u?! U think ur her only friend?! i dont think so but u replying her blog shows that u ADMIT u DID IT! am i wrong to say that because pls tell me if i am. my blog address is http://princess13-.blogspot.com yes.

finally if u have a issue with kaesen or rather with us (her prob is my prob) den talk to us. we gave u so much of chances.. eg when we were right opp u in cine. did u come? no! and if u were thinking of rebutting us with a "u all can come wad" well let me throw this to u straight in ur face. we did not do anything to u. ur offended by wad kaesen said so why should we walk up and talk to u. i would really wish for this to end happily but seems like u dont want it that way. wells we can talk ok but that is if u choose to face it and not hide behind the comp and diss my best friend. u being 17 ought to know how to behave yea? no need for me to teach u,i hope. Forgive my childish-ness but thats the only way to get to u. refusing phone calls and messages only shows one thing. i dont think i need to say it out, do i?

PS: i am MAE TAI and i am so not afraid of admitting that. And i am sure there are some details that i have left out. money issues? and even book issues.. u know what the fuck i am talking about. sorry for the vulgarity."

1. Too many grammatical mistakes.
2. Too many spelling errors.
3. Bad hold of english.
4. Princess? You?
5. The view you possess isn't even in the reach of the tip of my scalp, so you should now be envisioning the tights of my slaps across your face.
6. Http://princess13-.blogspot.com has a bad template and you're currently insulting a designer's girlfriend. Save the disgrace.
7. Have you even finished 'O' levels? Hmmm.
8. (Good) Reputation is the only thing you lack.
9. Let's talk about height....
10. I can see why your best friend need not act like she's attached, because she is not!
11. Kaesen was (COUGHSloserCOUGHS) stupid to believe that Nique slept with someone else. Her bad.
12. And no, your childishness is not forgiven and will not be.
13. For your information, you spelt 'immature', 'stereotypical' wrongly and you need to distinguish your singular(s) and plural(s) correctly. Shame on you!

Rough patches are inevitable, but I'm glad together and trying.

Two friends of mine, who used to be considered as legendary lovers, are fighting over a worthless third party. Actually, I'm in no position to judge or label third parties. Thing is, the supposed third party doesn't even give a hoot. So to these two friends, take things in your strides.

Conversing with you with my heart bared like a naked shame, seems to readily terminate almost any pain. You make love a glad sensation.

We had a quarrel which prolonged for 8 hours, with me sucked to lethargy this morning and resulting in giving work a miss. She made things up by surprising me at my place's void deck with the GUESS wallet I was sulking over not getting. I've not been too bad myself; gifted her with two G2000 shirts (el cheapo, since they were on sale but it's really the thought that counts, isn't it?) and a blocked lego necklace. Planned a marvellous date for us last week at this italian restaurant. Tremendously proud of myself.

Retail therapy will resume tomorrow onwards due to her obstructing them with the void of her permission.

Production is nearing along the timeline and the whole team is hyped up, including me. Casting auditions are on this Thursday and Friday 10&11August, Temasek Design School TV Studio, 12 - 3pm and 5 - 8pm.

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
Before you

Smile for me, honey. You are beautiful, so undeniable to me. We'll bask in our abode, under the sky blue umbrella, while you steal and collect sunlight from the outside just for you and me. When the grey skies befall, I will shelter you from drench and protect you from forecasted weathers till it all. We'll retake rides on this carousel and laugh off at history while embarking on newer escapades still. There are so many things I'd not be able to accomplish without you. You pieced me up to a whole, you made me break and drilled me into the darkest hole, you emblazed my days with fire and life, you drove my soul into a hell of goodbyes; you decide the privelege to making me and breaking me. You alone can help set me free. So won't you make a promise to me, that together we'll always be?

If you comment to this post...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.

to response to this post, type "I love Lio!" in my comment box!

To Xue
1. Your hair is growing really quick.
2. Be my role model independent woman.
3. Pink, your messenger chat colour.
4. I like your complexion.
5. Bawling night after night over Celeste.
6. A chihuahua.
7. How many best friends have you got?
8. Waiting to see this returned at your blog!

Casting! Actors wanted. If you can act the role of a typical Singaporean ahbeng, if you have tattoos, if you carry scars to flaunt, if you have the strut of an ahbeng, if you are able to take up the part of one, walk in for auditions at Temasek Design School! Call Dana @ 93839340 for for enquiries and enrolment.


So pre-production starts...

Attendance considered taken





Look left
Look center
Casting crew
"Dana, you make me sick"

I'm beginning to frighten my own guts by questioning if I can persevere in this crisis of the struggle of my fittest control over myself. Yesterday, I planned the most wondrous date I've ever planned, with much hope that sincerity can be transmitted once and for all so that she would someday stop saying "you don't love me" (and sound like she means it) and realise that change is already apparent and I am indeed pumping best shots to fuel into this flame. It injects more fatigue into my will when school and work intercepts like a train crash. Honestly, coping is difficult and I would really like to be juggling both without facing tremendous confusion. Keane isn't really helping by crooning repeatedly that it's 'just a bad dream' because bad dreams are the ones that implement consistently and no, it is not 'just a bad dream'.

This morning, I woke up feeling destroyed. I wish I could further elaborate on what that ruins me this fine day but I can't because this is another circumstance whereby I foresee people plant judging comments onto me. I can only start by telling you that my pockets are dry even though I have just been issued a cheque of $307.05, which obviously has not been processed and hence, me being penniless. I need friends to stop being selfish and understand that paupers do not play it's-ok-you-can-pay-me-back-tomorrow games. I need new resolutions but I can't see how I can stick to them because time is really something I'm lacking. I need to stop feeling destroyed every morning I wake up to.

I hope you get to read this before I eventually modify it. Bad english, bad day, bad orientation, 'bad dream'.

I posed this to you, "will you be mine again?"

And then you replied, "this lifetime and the next, I am yours".

I love you. I loved you all along. I forgive you, for being away for far too long. So keep breathing cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it; hold onto me and never let me go.