This internal battle is raking up old debris and the present is reconstructing the detailed contents of my past. The stillness of tonight's quiet is raking established significance of the wholeness I've been luxuriating in. You had your signature smile on and it was my remedy.

Joy almost feels immortalised, and I've only got you to credit and thank.

Hippity hoppity you, I miss you sweet sweet boo.

So alright, that was a lousy and cheesy attempt at a poetic rhyme, but nonetheless, you're swimming in the oceans of my mind at this unearthly minute. You seem to be an unveiled enigma and my days with you sticking by are endlessly bubbly. You even make my aching feet tap a peppy dance to Scissor Sisters.

I'm left amazed. Now tell me, how do you do it?

You make me smile

Please stay for awhile now

Just take your time

Wherever you go

Nothing really lasts, so here is now, and now is deliriously soaked in contentment.

Although our love has turned indifferent, I still wish the best for you. Please be happy. So if you're thinking I'm gloating over your misfortune, I'm setting the records straight and letting you know that I'm not and I won't. I'm still here if you ever need me.

It's a Saturday, there is a supper outing tonight, almost every movable muscle of mine is down with aches, my system is in dire need of nicotine but my throat needs otherwise, I'm blankly rooted at my desk pondering on the next sentence I'd write. I thought of your face. Just a smile did the trick and in all honesty, I'm puzzled.

You're tearing my fears apart, and I fear that the most.

The rosary's placed on my bed, next to my night's head-rest. Every passing day, I pray for the urging of belief and the grace only God can grant. You've never been left out in them. Faith has disciplined my grudges. The syndromes do relapse from time to time, but I know those four years have come and gone. Sometimes, when I lay my head back and spare an extra moment to dwell, it still stirs hurt. "All in time", I was told, and 'all in time' happened, I just failed to trust then. I've lost much, but I've learnt more than I could ever have imagined.

I'm sure the Old Man up there is grinning with glee that I'm down here feeling blessed with every ounce of chance I'm given to relive my previously assumed wretched life. It's seldom that I express any form of gratitude towards my faith and I'm glad that I'm doing that wholeheartedly.

And tonight is another night I know I can rest my body and soul at ease. I know I'm in good hands and in the most tender of all loving care.

One should never be too carried away by the gathering bustles of life, when contempt breeds opportunity and appreciation only manufactures in quavers. My walls stopped falling down on me and journey's narrow alleys are lit with blessings, grace and hope. The cottons of overcast hang an arresting kind of beautiful. The rest of the world closets itself from the horizons of soft drizzles.

But amidst this solace, I am reminded of the surreal sorrow of my four years of past with you. And that's how I know for certain, that we're better down this separate path.

I broke into tears tonight, speaking of you.

Mojo love says:
ahahah well.. lol.. ahah sumones happy 2day
Mojo love says:
u've been in such a happy mood lately

Comfort words are as practical as protein bars. (:

Actions never betraying nature.

The bitter pill allied with the comeback of a relapse. Hanging faith from a dubious backpage dates when it all was induced. My muse has been replaced with the nocturnal sadness. Or is a sympathetic kind of sorry?

After all I've tried to instill in you and guide you through with, you're nothing but years' worth of vain hopes.

Infatuation and love. The fine thread that once greatly differentiated these two representations of harboured feelings for another. They are man-made terms signifying dissimilarity in the distillation of affections.

Infatuation versus love.

When we talk about being in love more than constantly, we conceive a collaged mental vision picture from past experiences of or an aspiration of feeling good for and toward another; when the butterflies in our tummies fly to our hearts and heads, when emotions drive the better of us and chains us to becoming miserably unconditional, when doing what's best for the other is to let go, the first time cloud nine rocked to heavens high when the one you've been crushing on all year round reciprocates the virgin striking return of attraction, when sex becomes the most beautiful sculpt of intimacy (and when sex stops being deemed as love-making but instead an urge), when her hair is a classic bad hair 80s day and you think she's beautiful, when caring scars your life because it is at the expense of your usual living normalities, how is it possible to actually classify love and infatuation when either of the latter feels as stereotyped as love?

Which of the two has a stronger power of emotions?

Sometimes I think I'm madly infatuated with you, other times I'm on a scale showing eleven out of ten that this is love learning in its most unconditional form. At the end of every silly night, I know it's not love. But this thing we have that's not love, we just may have to add a "yet".

So this is what I'm saying to you. I don't love you yet, yet I know I'll grow to love you. All in time, all in good time. The best things in life must never be rushed.

The applications for enrolment have been sent out and the EPT test has been registered for. I'm not settling for anything less than success and certainty's the only word to best paint the optimist I am. I'm experiencing jolts of hysterics and excited anticipation; earnestly equipping myself with a language refill. As nerve-wrecking as this is consuming me, this is predicted the most gold-weighted decision I'll never regret. I can feel it explosively running in me. The chemical reactions bubbling within actually feels pretty darn good.

Backtracking the milestones of my past years, many wouldn't disagree to have foreseen me reliving a painful history in the days of my future. One of which generalised a superlative on Facebook about me "most likely killing myself over a relationship". It reads silly as it feels to be it, but here I am making reflections and relishing hope of mending the dishevelled shambles of what I'm about to leave behind. The suspense of my years ahead has me feverishly enthralled and I will live by "carpe diam".

The best part about life anew, is you being here to make dreams and ambitions come to reality.

I never imagined loving again, but here's never imagining fulfilling. You picked me up from my kneeling stump and your love's my saving grace and you're miraculous. You are the benefit when I was the doubt.

"You're my smiles". And you, my dear, will grow on me and be my everything. Sweet sweet beginning, you feel like my everlasting stay.

And it all begins with our 2008.

So 2008 has finally begun, faster than my imagination ever took me. These milestones of indifference, love, loss, friendships, infatuations, kinship, new found love, and life in general. For what its worth, 2007 taught me to live better into the future.

Graduated.




Loved, lost, and moving on.


Gained and shed, massively.


Kept the best for last.


Rekindled kinship with the most amazing woman in my life.


Am in love, with the most extraordinary person.

(No proper photo representation yet, haha.)



And so, turning twenty one and clearing many debts, here's me wishing:

May loved ones stay happy in love.
May those who have lost love still be happy and find love no matter where they are and what they do.
May righteousness and truth always prevail.
May happiness come in the simplest of forms.
May contentment be derived through pure means.
May friendships blossom and stay.
May families reconcile.
May foes forgive.
May hatred perish.
May peace be realised and war be deceased.




07 has ended, 08 has set a new sun above us all. With that, may God bless all.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne!

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin’ auld lang syne.

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!