I feel so alone in this world, in my world. I feel like a freak of my thoughts.

Solo hours attempting at deriving an outcome from thinking, many stubborn questions but only a bouldered heart drags inside this well-fatigued frame. As I cushion myself on physical comfort, my neck chokes with irreversible regret. My forecasts of a silently delirious breakdown does not actualize, but I am still feeling. The years has licked me by and there are stains of chase. Evidences of the chase leave me exasperated, but it is all well-known that the chase is involuntarily infinite. Infinity. Such a sacred word to be married to a jading source. The irony of it all, mocks my every futile effort.

God, I am lost. I have stopped being hopeful of a tomorrow. Today is the furthest I can go, or so I tell myself. But every today manages to survive to another tomorrow. And merely surviving makes me no happier than the thought of re-staging out another tomorrow purely on the basis of only pulling through.

I want certainty. I want consiatency. I want both, in the happiness that lives too short to comprehend.

“Such is my love, to thee I so belong,
That for thy right myself will bear all wrong.”

Noone has made me quite as happy the way you do. Thank you, for almost 6 months of faithfulness, patience, kindness, understanding and love.

Nothing compares. Everything else pales when it comes to you.

Being the anal perfectionist that I am, I baked Ben's birthday cake 2 days in advance, to ensure flawlessness and to ascertain that the cake is sufficiently firm/chilled for neat cutting. I made a smaller portion since there were extra batter and crust. It's been a knock-out so far. I just hope Ben, his family and his friends enjoy it as much as my family did.

Recipe from Bakerella.

Birthday boy-to-be makes me happy in ways that even he himself cannot count. But before that, beautiful boy and I will be hitting 5 months old together. Sooner than we could snap our fingers to realise, he would be stepping into the world of university. We're both growing older quicker (in more ways than literally) than we imagined dating to feel like, but we do have a common vision of an unseparated future.

And it's everything that we are, that holds all meaning to this little world of mine. (: