I'll love you and be with you taking good care of you always.

Never will I take these words back. Not over my dead body.

Familiarity, I chanced upon
Street lamps and an empty aisle
Shadowed and facing the starlit night sky
Montages bursting into jewelled eyes
Misled into a dark valley for the forlorn
Smeared with hurt when refuge was sent
Wiped away trails of shame
The rhythm of her concern grew agitated
Nestled me in a membrane of solace
Corrections sewned, all's worth the while
A familiar face, I chanced upon
Delirious and knightly
The angel of my life scorned

I'm so overwhelmed and touched by your actions. I can't lose you again when I've tasted losing you upteen times. Be by me, with all that it will take because I won't leave you again.

You know this mad world's manipulating and toying around mind games when you wake up feeling jaded from the same old tales. Like a aged piece of crumpled paper, the words written on it fades into a diminish of nothing.

Wishing is solace in momentary refusal of admittance. Hoping is praying to the god that lingers somewhere from the grounds we breathe on to a place higher than the heavens.

And love, is like a battery. It needs consistent recharge, powers at both negative and positive forces and can possibly wind up redundant if the catalysts to its optimum function are not replenished.

These mornings have betrayed flickering hopes I harboured during moments when the unconscious had me hostage. The refill of spirit is somewhere at the back of your hands and tongue. Brim me back up and iron me out; I can't stand alone.

Couple templates! Don't start, because it's been a long time since I designed ones that are similar with hers.

Babe clinched an A and a couple of Bs for her common tests and projects and I'm here to announce that she's made me the proudest, with her paid off hard work.

She's dizzying my head with incessant utters of 'I love you's over the phone now and I must admit, I could get used to such confusion.

Happy 19th birthday, Dana! Another birthday, celebrated with much love and thought. This is to you, from all of us.

Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention
Your words just disappear

Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

So I speak to you in riddles
Cause my words get in my way.
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away
Cause I can't take anymore of this,
I want to come apart,
or dig myself a little hole
Inside your precious heart

I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
Yet I always try to hide
Cause I talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

Instead of being absorbed in preparations for the presentation...










But we did get done and over with first interim presentations! :D

If I could hang my guard up high, I would. I'd keep it there so that words and actions or the lack of them, would never prick my fragility. Time after time, it's the same wounds that keep making way for open and patching up, only to sprint in circles of bursting from the vengeance of return. The emotionally-desirable has strayed, into a wild meadow casting nothing but hovering dark clouds.

My muse is vulnerability at your absorbence or dispense. You left me hollow and you emptied all that my life was brimming me up with. Your kept by your selfish promises toward yourself and you think of break up as the only let-down towards me. Well, you're wrong.

Perhaps, my shoes are too small for you and you can't place yourself in them. Perhaps, you need someone whose feet fit into your shoes because mine can't. Perhaps, your feet are too huge to slip into my shoes. To me, everything thinned into evanescence seven months ago. It isn't indifference you were hiding under carpets, it was the absence of what used to exist. Love.

So maybe you pricked the needle hard on what was truest, that we don't match. But despite all that, you will forever remain the most special part of me. I'll just end this all by thanking you for twenty-two months of innocence, betrayal, love, affinity, hurt, fun, extreme emotions, excitement, monotony, commitment, laughter, tears, vibes, fear and everything else that I can't bring up at the tip of my fingers.

Please take good care of yourself. Don't under-eat just to lose weight. Don't keep skipping lectures and remember to focus on your studies. Don't mingle with friends who will lead you astray. I wish you happiness from now until always, really. If I can't provide you with happiness, I hope you source for it well on your own. I'm sorry I couldn't be all that you needed and wanted.

And remember to think of me and the times we had, sometimes.

Series of whacky photographs

Fooling around. As usual.

That's my best friend, in the center.

Bunny kink and hats.

While waiting for Ingrid to arrive, this kind of things happened.
The legendary flaring of nostrils.

Roy came into the picture.







The supposed movie marathon and stayover

DDR. No kidding.

Street fighter-ing.



Enough to feed a horde of gluttons.

Traces were left trailing a grave dangle. We both saw shadows doing a clandestine follow, so we hastened the rhythems of our feet. There's no space for admittance that denial will never path our getaway, yet escapism deems the smoothest way out.

Bittersweet release, free these conflicting voices once again.

It saddens me to think that the five of us may drift into being meer strangers someday. But here's to a solid two years (and ongoing) of friendship. We've come a long way from then until now and being around together draws so much gratitude. I love you four.

Happy 20th birthday, Ingrid.

Once you've been cradled in the sweeping bask of love's outpours, settling for something less is unacceptable. Alternatives come and go but are eventually eradicated, boiling down to the only outstanding option.

Tonight, I snapped up half a packet of butter sunflower seeds, artificially recharged myself with two dozes of caffeine and ideas are dehydrated. My alarm clock decides that my biological clock is due for school at 8.30am, and here I am dawdling with time that crawls.

This is definitely late and long-due but good luck and all the best for 'O' levels. As for the people who I deem as wastages in my ass, I hope you realise you're not even up to the average level of intelligence to be passing the most basic of examinations. I'm sure those slugs know exactly who they are.

Virgin needs to be touched up.

Having being cast aside after not being picked from the two of me and the Korean videos, I took the liberty of loaning the show from her. It was years ago since I set attention and viewership on Korean dramas. Surprised and admitting, I've actually gotten myself indulgent and hooked onto this series.

I ought to be shadowing these silly little past-times for the freest of days and be involved in infidelity with the novel she bought me.

This day has sucked all energy from surviving vibes and I have resulted in desperation for rest. There is DEFA's submission due later and DEFA's assignment isn't even up for grading.

This is where I pen down and gnaw on my nails while visualizing Cleopatra's exotic endeavours and wild bed escapades with Caesar. Bedtime stories..

P/S I'm listening to 'Princess Hours' OSTs now and I want to complete watching the series. Omgawdz! Don't start gasping at the big chunk of commotion on Korean dramas.

Mummy dearest's birthday. Aged is to be disclosed.

The surprise 'cake' Nique thought of and brilliantly, the idea worked!

Even the little one wants a piece of pizza. Girls in charge at home.
June, pay me to take this off.

I love pizzas and school T-shirts.

Birthday outing.


This is the ultimatum. Swenson's apple crumble.


Happy birthday Mummy! Hope you enjoyed this year's. Much love.

This close, this close.

I've never been able to scare myself the way I did today. There I was, fragile and weak against the toilet floor tiles. I laid still until my surrondings stopped spinning.

I wish to attain back all that I have lost. I've lost so much of me since the day I began looking different in front of the mirror. People stopped recognising me and it took me a long while to absorb realisation that I couldn't recognise myself after this course of perfection-chase.

There's only so much I can put into words. This life's too short to be living it wrong, yet it seems to long to be re-living certain scenarios over and over again.

Hold your smiles up high and make me strong for them.

22nd. It feels as if it all began yesterday; 2nd January 2006. Fanciful indites don't necessary need to be over-carefully phrased just to expressed.

I love feeling like the masculine party in the relationship, just that it tags along with a heavy price ($$$). Gifted her with a pair of Nike basketball shorts and 'Goong (Princess Hours)' VCD. Korean drama series VCD = $38.00. Expression on her face = beyond the name of price.



Happy 22nd.