Quietude can hold such soulful beauty.

It's quite amusing teaching a Caucasian how to speak Chinese when the standard of my Mandarin is (on its own) in the pits.

You wait for a silence
I wait for a word
Lying next to your frame
Girl unobserved
You change your position
You're changing me
Casting these shadows
Where they shouldn't be

We're interrupted
By the heat of the sun
Trying to prevent
What's already begun
You're just a body
I can smell your skin
And when I feel it
You're wearing thin

But I've got a plan
Why don't you be the artist
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer
Decide the words I say?
Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?

Sat on your sofa
It's all broken springs
This isn't the place for
Those violin strings
I try out a smile
And I aim it at you
You must have missed it
You always do

You wait
I wait
Casting shadows
Interrupted


Ellie Goulding - The Writer


_ _____ ____ ___.

You see the night is all I have to make me fear
And all I want is just a love to make it hurt
'Cause all I need is something fine to make me loose
Now it's a funny way I find myself with you

Because this song is all I have to make me feel
And all it takes is just a love to make it hurt
And every sound erased in time could make me loose
Now it's a funny way I find myself with you

But now there's nothing left to do but waste my time
I never knew where to move on, I never knew what to rely upon
Now there's nothing left to say to change your mind
And if you're unhappy still I will be hanging on your line
Should you return, should you return, should you return

Because the night is all I have to make me fear
And all I want is just a drink to make it worth while
'Cause all I need is someone close to make me loose
Now it's a funny way I find myself with you

But there's nothing left to do but waste my time
I never knew where to move on, I never knew what to rely upon
But now there's nothing left to say to change your mind
And if you're unhappy still I will be hanging on your line

And now there's nothing left to do to draw your eyes
(and now theres nothing left to do)
I never knew where to move on, I never knew what to rely upon
And now there's nothing left to say to change your mind
And if you're just sinking down I will be pulling on your line

And now theres nothing left to do but waste my time
I never knew where to move on, I never knew what to rely upon
Now there's nothing left to say to change your mind
And if you're unhappy still I will be hanging on your line
Should you return, should you return, should you return


Copeland - Should You Return

All through the twilight you're listening for me
Darling, go to sleep
Cradled by moonlight, I'm dreaming we'll be
Loved so deep

Floating and fighting, like a kite on a string
Till you cut through my tether and changed everything
From the sky you looked small, but I loved you the same
So I darted back quickly to spell out your name
And when they say that I'm just a terrible kite
You'll tell them you're proud of my marvelous flight

Copeland - Kite

Mark, the beauty of poetry in melodies.

Chances are when said and done
Who will be the lucky ones
Who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever
No matter how it feels today

Chances are we'll find a new equation
Chances run away from me
Chances are all they hope to be

Don't get me wrong I never say never
Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you

I'm just a realistic man
A bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to look beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I'll see us through yeah

Chances are we'll find two destinations
Chances run away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
And possibilities
Over me

Eight to five or two to one
Lay your money on the sun
Until you crash what have you done?
Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you bring
You've got to cry before you see

Chances, chances

Chances lost are hopes torn up pages
Maybe this time
Chances are we'll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken
And I can see
Chances are the fascination
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them
And all I need

Five For Fighting - Chances

These...





...are the best friends I intend to grow old with and tell stories to my future children about "How I Met Uncle Potato and Aunt Dana".

(:

Hey Jude don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And any time you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder

Hey Jude don't let me down
You have found her now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

So let it out and let it in
Hey Jude begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you
Hey Jude you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder

Hey Jude don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you'll begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better

Across The Universe - Hey Jude

Songs that make your waterworks jerk; songs that leave you confused and bittersweet. Songwriters who lead you into wondering if their songs are meant to be perceived with melancholy or hope for love.

It took me years to finally take a complete listen to this song, and this song is sweet, just as how love should be. (:

Welcoming my first ever ukelele to my humble abode! I've been trying to master several chords for the past 3 hours already. My fingers are feeling a tad bit numb but it is not as nearly as painful as picking up playing the guitar. The psycho-motor issue that was faced initially (contrastly differentiating from finger positions when playing the piano) is surprisingly dissipating as the practices show results of improvement.

The music/sound from ukeleles becomes more tasteful as it acquired. Ukeleles will grow on you, as it did on me. Bonuses are that its freps are shorter (excellent for people with small hands like myself) and the strings are softer than those belonging to a guitar's.

My ukelele was bought at UkeleleMovement, located at Dunlop Street. UkeleleMovement is the only company/organization that focuses on everything ukelele, from products to accessories to books, and even to lessons and workshops! The staff there are really helpful in offering their extended services, to guide you through every step of your doubts and inhibitions about ukeleles.

You will never know how much fun a ukelele is until you've tried it hands-on!

This is what my my new baby looks like (except that it has white strings instead)!

Continuing my contract at FPS (may be promoted as resident music teacher/trainer), was offered and have began working on a new contract at NPS Int'l school, and was offered a student for private keyboard lessons by my boss!

The ukelele workshop (organized by Ukelele Movement) and conducted by the renowned ukelele musician James Hill was awesome beyond description. It was so insightful, knowledgeable, inspiring and innovative!

It's strange, yet miraculous, how God makes life work. It can never feel truer than this point, that when you lose some, you gain some.

It's only day two of the many more years of many concurrent school contracts, and here I am, already wiped out. I'll be meeting friends to gain insight on investments. Hopefully the eggs in the bucket(s) will begin to grow and hatch in months/years. This week bodes a mark of many beginnings. I'm still not quite accustomed to moving forward (in life) in a week this quickly without putting aside finances for an other half, but surely, this is a start.

The students played their songs so diligently melodious and so beautifully in sync. My prayers were subtly answered with one of the purest of all creations - children. My first heart to heart conversation with my best friends happened today. In a day, I was shown three forms of love that lit a warmth in my low spirit. Literally put, these three were innocence, friendship and family. Metaphorically interpreted, they were hope, faith and love; God's three.

God heard and He listened.

Overwhelmed, I prayed, as I have done fervently for the past weeks, I prayed for God to shower you with such love. Such love to fill you with content. I pray you find love, the way I found it for you. I pray you appreciate love. I prayed, for the love of forgiveness, to forgive anyone who has crossed me with ill emotions and intentions. And above all, I pray, that I will find forgiveness and love in my heart, to wish all these for you every single day from today.

I did everything I could and now my heart can't take it.

I would give anything I own,
Give up my life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again
Just to touch you once again

You used to be the best part of every single day. You used to bring a light of content into my little broken being. You used to warm my heart with love. You used to complete me.

Home was where my heart was, and I want to be home with you again.

I really wanted to love you, as long as this life would take me. You really broke my heart.

Relapse.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn/But that's alright because I like the way it hurts/Just gonna stand there and hear me cry/But that's alright because I love the way you lie

What we had seems surreal now, like it happened in dreams that prolonged for a year. You leaving left me limbless, and now that the rebuilding is progressing, memories stand flat. After all, you did leave me to fend for myself in the pain you hurled at me. Loving you was like being trapped on a sick cycle carousel.

Anger has exhausted sadness. My limit has been exhausted. I'm not an angry person, yet here I am, angry, so angry it feels so scornful.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going?
"I'm leaving you"
No you ain't. Come back we're running right back.
Here we go again
It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who's that dude? I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you're with 'em
You meet and neither one of you even knows what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them those chills you used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw hit 'em
Throw 'em down pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in them
It's the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you're best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
I guess that's why they call it window pane

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn't you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won't be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I'm tired of the games I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna

Eminem featuring Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie

Being in love with you was so painful, but it was real because it was painful. I love you, but all you want of me, is to unlove you.

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lovers


A beautiful poem, crafted into a suicide lullaby.

"...Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave."

-Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

If this corrects the definition of a soul mate, my heart nods in agreement with regards to a certain special someone who has taken his flight. He was my best friend, he was my joy, and he was a teacher who gave me invaluable lessons on how painful love is love at its strongest.

He was the first that I have ever loved this unconditionally, through thick and thin. Soon it would stop hurting, and I would know that I would love him in an unconscious pledged secrecy. The quietude carries a strange whift of solace that sweeps over me like a feint membrane, in which my inner state is conscious is knowledgeable to the truth that I would forever love this man in my little ways. I bear no grudge or fault toward this man I love. The reasons behind this dramatic abandonment will someday cease to hold any matter or repetitive resonance. I'm always going to miss him, and I'll always relate thoughts of him for the fonder win. This time, it's different. This man, he's different.

Remembering how I'm always telling him that he would never find another girl who would love him as much as I did, I failed to ever let him know that I could never love a man as much as I loved him. It would not be that I wouldn't, shouldn't or don't, it would be that I couldn't.

There is a time for everything. A time for happiness, a time for sorrow, a time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to be reborn, a time to grief. But there is no time to ever stop loving truly.

Relationships 101: You will fight. Fight all day, fight all night. That’s all you will EVER do. And that’s the important part. Because you’ll realize that no matter how different you are with each other, no matter how you hate each other’s guts, you decided to meet in the middle and try to keep it together. Fighting is the sole proof that you love each other. Because when you stop fighting, you stop trying and when you stop trying, you just shrug it off and stop caring and you stop loving.

-http://irrationalrecipes.tumblr.com

My appetite finally returned today, after going on an unintended hunger strike for the past 4 days. I've lost quite a bit of weight during the small span of these days. My friends are telling me I'm becoming skinny way too fast and they're afraid for me. My sleeping ability is still warped, but I've been feeling very tired today as compared to the past few days (of restlessness and paranoia). All I'm thinking about is still him but it's become more sane today. I was able to be occasionally distracted from those thoughts though. I still miss him. I still miss him so much.

I loved you more than I loved anything about my life. So what went wrong? Why did you leave again?

Plagued with dictionaries of mixed emotions and the very core of the epitome of restlessness, facts of existence knife into my bubble that although love is all-beautiful and perfect, the change of love itself is unreversibly stabbing. It accompanies hereth, until the clocks shut down as you know it.

Love. I love you. One day, someday, today, it became a matter of having loved. It's not good enough, because if you have ever loved, you would have always made that a reason to never walk out. And you left. You left and you left, till the numbers ceased to discover their point in numerics. You made that a priority of a former, and you always made an effort to create options. I was not only an option, I was always worth the latter of the choices.

I have loved, and I loved you the most. I loved the boy with the beautiful conscience. As for now, I believe I have been in love with a ghost for a long time.

"Some boys feel they need to love a thousand girls, but a real man knows how to love one woman a thousand ways".

I've missed you, excruciatingly.