Heartfelt gratitude dedicated to these :
Nique, Daddy, Mummy, June, Jinyu, Ching Joo, Ingrid, Priscelia, Kwang Wei, Mei Xuan, DustAngel, Chi Chi, Pei, Khoon Han, Hanshen, Chris, Alex, Daryl, Yu Mei, Fel and Julian(?).

Felicity drained from the source of its existence - people. The fellowship of humanity deceased to a meaningless facade as emotions pour their way into a waste pit. Threads binding security stringed apart, affections squeezed to dehydration, causing relationships to wrinkle from dryness of genuity. All that remain are fossils of memories.

I sat by, caressing old moments, still cherishing archaelogy

Love can travel to different heights, some extreme and others mild. Today, love has proven to be my strongest part of me. Being able to love, is painful as it is, yet, being without it seems like an eternity damned in hell. Love can change everything - shift mountains, freeze seasons, and even make one go berserk. And if there is anything I haven't loved, you people are not one of them, because I love each and every one of you with every ability I possess. I try to silent the grumbles and complaints, but today, I realised that all of that, the sweet and the bitter, are important in order to love. None must be left in exception.

June. You have seemingly failed my efforts to survive in the relationship we have. I have had sleepless tearful nights pondering on how I should improve to fit the bill. I have question my own self, and doubted my capability to try. You will always be my one and only sister; none other can replace.

Mummy. I have tested my faith time and time again, and I disappoint you and God. I cannot appease everyone, please understand. It takes time for changes to occur. I have already pumped in my fullest effort to constantly be by your side, to listen when you need an ear. The love I have for you is comparable with Daddy, because you have sacrificed for me more than anyone else in this world. Today, I have challenged your rights as a mother, I have disobeyed you, and it stings me so hard. I'm just too proud to admit.

Daddy. You will always have my love. But Mummy will always have more of it, because you have hurt her, and I, witnessed it. I hate looking back, to think that you might inflict pain onto her again. I am protective towards Mummy, and since you love your own mother so much, you will understand, someday, what I mean.

Phoebe. Thank you for being through this rough ride with me, although you didn't say much. I never wanted friends to see these things happen to me, because I don't need them to sympathise me. Thank you, for being so tolerant.

You. Your love for me today, has reached such heavenly heights, that I thank you, for everything over the past two years. I'm wary and fearful of showing my dark ugly side, yet you loved me for my different personalities. I am sorry I broke your heart by breaking down. I am sorry I was too stubborn to listen. I can't gurantee change, but I will try; at least trying might get me there. Needless to say, I want to let you know that I love you so much, more than I'll ever say it.

To all mentioned above, I am sorry.

First add/drop attempt was successful, now I'm at my second attempt at add/drop. My apologies go out to Tommy Quek, who has been tolerating my lack of planning (timetable) and my indecisiveness. Fret not, because I have already scheduled my subjects all the way until I graduate from the course.

This semester, I'll be struggling my guts to fill more of the gaps for the design electives subjects. Interface Design, Web Animation 1, and my add-on, Interactive Media Authoring 1 (I hold Quek onto her word that it isn't a killer). I'm dropping Sociology, and focusing on Psychology.

Now, stamina is vital and essential.

I am about to blog literal now. Nique picked me up from school after Psychology's lecture and tutorial. I got Nicoll Tan ( YES! The Leadership and Character lecturer), and that makes me extremely relieved. I'd rather Khim Ho teach though, his lectures are more information-absorbing. IMDP2's presentation is next week - Final Proposal, which also indicates that I'll be undergoing insomnia-haunting nights and it will be seldom that I will get to see Nique.

Back to brainstorming for IMDP2!

Cracks of furious roars lit the deep crimson heavens. The minute drips of rainwater befall onto the ground, causing sounds in plitters and platters to collect into growing pools of the skies' burden.

I smell the aroma of drizzles. Heavenly. On a night like this, I'm wondering if it is pouring up above. Would you have spent tearful night after tearful night in full reminisce, of the days when life was endeared and precious?

Because I still wish you hadn't left so soon.

A thousand faces urging her to resist the wave currents washing her backwards. The bleak city engulfs any light in her paths while trails of shadows crept up behind on her.

She closes her eyes for the moment, and envisages utopia; an ended chase. Hold still the silence, meek the solitude, and let her dream just a little longer.

Tanning 180505

Mock 18th Birthday Celebration 220505

Pictoria.

Wheels of thoughts in endless whirls, with confusion lingering and continuing its stay. The heart is tugging from her subconscious voices sighing; her spirit at its submerging plummet. The boulders striking her shoulders down, with none's hands to gravitate into. None.

The scent of intimacy and the taste of closeness, all omitted. The bubble to the brim with animosity and grudges, preparing to rupture. If only time was untroubled, in the solitude and quietude, for meditation of agigation and angst, perhaps her Father would outstretch his mercy, more, and shelter her shivering identity.

She gulps down the forsaken waters. She is drowning. Does another escapade anticipate her touchdown?

390 photographs. Countless sunflower seeds consumed. 2 horrid-tasting plates of prawns and shrooms (courtesy of Pastamania). 1 glorious and cooperative sun. 2 tanners.

Result? Severe sunburns (but a very happy day).

The delirious excitement made her spine chill a second or two; her head afloat by spells that bound her; thoughts waltzing to the rhythem of the throbbing of her heart. Those days of constant trauma have been pieced up by hand, fearful and wary that glued parts might shatter once more.

Age has taught plenty, with grudging losses and fruitful gains. The mundane routines cause souls to mellow, life slowly and scornfully dripped and wasted.

Now that the diamond in her rough suffaces, she clenches onto it, gripping it with mighty strength, and hums a subtle tune to it, for fear now that it might flee from her. Happiness, can be stolen, in a minute fraction of a fall.

At times an enigma, and other times the guru to her being, nevertheless, she intently awaits affinity, still.

My husband and I have made plans to cohabitate once she's 21 and me 23. I will engage an agent to book an executive HDB apartment for us. Payment will be halfway through when I'm 23 and she will, by then, aid me financially when she starts working. We will buy a shared apartment, legally, and get both our parents' approvals. And we will live together, forever, happily ever after. She will do the cooking in the weekends while I, in the weekdays; and she will drive us around when she has gotten her license, I will forsake my license if need be; she will share the workload of the housework with me and we will own two dogs, one breed of her choice and one breed of mine, which she will, pick up their poo during walks, and I will be in charge of entertaining, bathing and feeding.

She will design the kitchen and bedrooms, I will design the living room, bathrooms and study room. I feel like the most fortunate girl in the world, to be able to even make such far-fetched plans with her.

My apologies for the upteen quarrels that have occurred, to cause dipute and sow discord. I hope to sew and mend all of the unhappiness into smiles. We will make utopia now reality. Five years will fly by us in a snap of our fingers, and our hearts will still beat in one rhythem. I refuse to believe it isn't possible. We've come a long way darling, haven't we?

P/S, this entry is entirely literal.