The ridiculously hectic schedules have been jam-packed lately that my biological clock is haywire. It doesn't feel appropriate to wake up at 7am (like this morning), and it feels more atrocious to be waking up at 10am (other days) when I'm turning into bed on the average at 3am every night. Whatever the description is, I am thorougly drained and will be recharging myself up this weekends. Lecturers reading, please be kind on deadlines.

I need more time with you. We need to replenish all that's been burnt during the past weeks. We've been squabbling far too much and I don't like things this way. I've been too tired to even quarrel with you. so I left things hanging on that string. Give me time to tighten the knot back.

It's only a month and four days more to that day when emotions will stir to ugly incompatible mixtures. Yes, July 14th every year since three years ago. It's amazing, how unbelievable these three years (to be) have swum by, yet the distinct images of the mark of her physical absence forever replay themselves over and over again throughout. Death still is a threat to me, my worst enemy. She deserved a subtle painless death, but it was cruel and tragic. I don't think I'd know how to react this third death anniversary. I miss the times when rebel ruled our youth, when frequent trauncy was manipulated as times for us to truly bond, the times you courageously stood up for me, the times you shed tears when I did. I miss you very much. The tears are drawing to my eyes, and they're burning from fatigue. I wish things could be different.