After a hectic series of council alignments, yesterday was finally a proper and qualitative day spent with Jerome. He absolutely loved the durian and chocolate banana muffins I baked and that makes me happy. It was a simple yet really fulfilling date, with him cooking noodles for us and dining in the evening to his grandma's really splendid Chinese home-cooked food. It's already Friday and we get to (at last) have our MacDonalds meal together, after not touching fast food for quite a bit! Baby's joining me for my OG's gathering and I will be crashing his jamming session thereafter. Tomorrow will be fish-shopping and tank-decorating with him and I'm just thankful to be able to have time alone with him.

It's one of those I-spent-day-with-boyfriend-and-I-did-all-this-today entries but I'm happy, albeit stricken with a bout of hefty tiredness. To a good day to me, to him, to us.

I love you baby, so much.

"Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, I and
my life will shut very beautifully ,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands"

-Ee Cummings

While immsensely pondering across flights of deafening stairway lights and immobilised pigment of one moment, the air runs stifling deep with the infestation of insomnia. The nitty gritty of this night's forecast surely depicts a lot and in addition, it is coupled up with intense pounding in the head. Vision now interprets in parallel with surrealism of a dream you sometimes find yourself lost in.

If only nights didn't exist, then the world would never have to be painted in such piqueness of black. Tonight doesn't smear blankets of troubles and their spells. Tonight simply reads blank, alongside the irony of these words.

A yawn would come in handy as a good sign.

You, are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. Just a smile, and deep down it is understood by not one, but two, that everything stands right in its place.

There was a time where nothing mattered. It's a mind-body division of voluntarily and compelled decisions that lay on platters awaiting a pick, like living in a continuous reel of films that are structured with beginnings and processes and ends. But somehow, no matter how tough the rough gets going, you make me see an ending of a forever. Forever is a terribly large word but that's what it feels like. It feels like how adults in love should be. It feels like a give and take so natural and readily reciprocated. No longer is it the instinctive motion of detachment, but the ever-ready act of faith that never was familiar among the neverending vocabulary jargons.

So yes, what more is that to conclude that undoubtingly, you are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. You are so beautiful and although nobody else gets to feel about you the way I do, everyone deserves to feel this way about somebody as I do you.

You love me. I certainly and surely do love you. And that Jerome, in its simplest context and interpretation, is enough. Run away with me, away from the cynics and disbelieving fools. This is different, so let's be believers.

When your boyfriend doesn't believe that you didn't block him on MSN.



Mayer's Slow Dancing In A Burning Room live at Webster Hall is on repeat.

Lost and insecure, you found me.

“Because deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore. But being hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments when it’s the best thing you can possibly do… as long as you choose your moments wisely.”

The storm maker says it ain't so bad. The dream maker's gonna make you mad. The spaceman says everybody look down. It's all in your mind.

Well, happy birthday Popo. Happy birthday indeed.

This is the face that makes me smile silly everyday. I miss you, my Jerome Mak.

Above all the things that I hold simple indulgences in, you're my favourite thought of every single day. Whenever you walk towards me in the midst of the crowd of the world, my insides still feel a butterfly effect, a grizzly sort of euphoria.

Stay, for as long as you can, because I'm staying and I'm in for the stay.

Michelle Featherstone - Coffee and cigarettes.

The man whom I have made my world. The man who grants me thick provisions of happiness. The man who holds my hand when my legs are crossed away from him. The man who reminds me not to leave him. The man who undresses my bad habits and transforms them into good ones. The man who shares the same smiles as mine. The man who has fondly grown to be the better half of who I am. The man who can't be moved. My man.

That man. My beautiful lover, boyfriend, best friend. That man. Jerome.

"Michael: I'm not frightened. I'm not frightened of anything. The more I suffer, the more I love. Danger will only increase my love. It will sharpen it, forgive its vice. I will be the only angel you need. You will leave life even more beautiful than you ended it. Heaven will take you back and look at you and say: Only one thing can make a soul complete and that thing is love." (The Reader)

As old as the world itself, the nights gray with age. The moon sways from a heat of iron to a pale of cream. With a pinch of showing faith, a heart tends to abstain from a prevailing droop. The hours counting to the shores of daytime are trapped by old records crooning a sweet surrender that somewhat lingers the fond familiarity of a Christmas night, now in July. Wherever beyond may be, may the music tuning hearts together endure.

Old habits die hard and my riddling faith sings an eccentric refuge. It is not my place, it is not my time, but it is still mine.

July 14th 2009 marks the 7th year of Marion's departure.

Dearest friend of my life, you are eternally missed. In a tomorrow someday in heaven, will we meet. I pray for your family, all the time. Watch over all your loved ones from up above.

May the Good Lord always be with you.

I loved you yesterday. I love you today. I'll love you tomorrow. I'll love you the day after tomorrow. I'll love you the days after tomorrow. I'll love you the days after tomorrows. I love you every day.

Wish I could be, every little thing you wanted, all the time.

So this is what having a family ought to feel like. Having the little junior wrap her arms around you and kissing your cheeks, with you holding her in your embrace and with the man you love most holding onto your shoulders.

It seems like a future together is inching nearer than a thought can describe. It's a feeling worth remembering a whole lifetime and it's a feeling worth motivating two people in love to becoming one in the eyes of God someday.

Jerome's Mummy's and Aunt Eliza's Birthday

The younger generation.

After the first photo, little C simply transferred herself in my arms after squirming out of Jerome's. Instantly, I melted.

Jerome said, "we look like we're taking a photo with our first child".

Heartwarming, isn't it? It is, for me.

Happier moments are now and now are made out of such simple joy life brings. Thank you Jerome, and your family, for loving me. More times like this to come, please baby please?

Jerome's Mummy's birthday happens tomorrow, and it will mark my many days getting to see Jerome in a week.

The unconventional official get-together happened on the seventh of July, by both asking one another to be each other's. No chasing, no courtship, just the best offered from us individually to be in unison as one. It was only touching down on the seventh did realisation hit me, of how attentive Jerome is of my every likes and dislikes. He is fully aware of littlest things like my favourite colour and the books I've been eyeing to read.

At night, he sat with my on the couch, with Mummy on the other. June joined us voluntarily soon after. We chatted so heartily and he told Mummy that he would take care of me. He keeps offering to bring Mummy and June out, and that really gets to me in the most delightful way. Mummy kept telling him about how she felt about the exboyfriend from her own observations and he would whisper in my ear that he would never be like the exboyfriend, and most importantly that he would take care of me. He's already Catholic but he offered to journey the RCIA with me. It's wonderful, being able to foresee a certain sort of affinity of a future together with someone. No airs about it, no obligations, just an motivating need.

Having our light lunch at Carl's Junior. I really like eating at Carl's Junior with Jerome.

His present for me.

My present for him. I filled every single little container with a letter of his name, with alphabet macaroni. Gathering individual letters was a bitch. But the final product did turn out quite classy and I sure hope he loved it as much as I loved making it.

Delicious! We were so full and happy!

Very romantic evening. Weather was perfect too.

After a darn good meal, comes the camera action!

He insisted that I take photographs with the orangey-fuchsia roses he bought me. Plus, Jerome really loved the dress I bought just to wear for this date. So yes, my hard search did pay off! (:

I love this photograph.

Baby took this and I really like it!

(Laughs) This one was taken very randomly, but it's really cute!

Here comes the sweetest part of it all - The Book, Chapter 1.

This was present number one. It was already touching enough that he remembered me procrastinating like crazy, whether I should buy this book or not.

The rest of the pictures are self-explanatory. He wrote at least a paragraph about every single time we've met, and tagged a picture along beside it. This present blew me away.

It really moved me so deeply, knowing that he notices little things I never thought guys would even know exist. He even extracted some of my text messages and wrote them in this little book he gave me.

And yes, I love you Jerome Mak. Not for the great things you have done, but for the consistent little things, and for loving me just the way I am.

Now for the headache of what to get for his Mummy. His timetable resumes tomorrow and we'll be spending so much time together travelling to school and leaving the school together.

I can't wait for the times we'll be creating together. I am happy.