Words are beyond cheap. They are free, at my expense. Under your crush, I am fragile.

I feel weak.

The saddest part about loving so much before and losing it all in a clap of reality, is knowing that almost falling into the webs of romance would seem impossible to amount to love again.

My heart is broken and left raw. I have nothing to give. I have nothing more I can give. Please forgive me.

Take care. I've been hurt before. Too much time spend on closing doors. You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you. Goodbye. Don't cry. You know why. And it'll be just as quiet when I leave, as it was when I first got here. I don't expect anything.

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery as they steal your best memories away. What if I was someone different in your only history? Would you feel the same? As I walk out the door. Never to see your face again. I don't expect anything to change when I leave.

Oh I try, I try so very hard. And I cry, I cry so very much. For I loved you like you'll never let yourself feel again. I loved you like a sister and a friend. I loved you with my whole heart until it bends. I loved you like a lover until the very end.

But I'll always think of all the things you did to let me know that you love me.

This, made me smile a trillion times tonight. And this, made my grouchy Thursday yellow with sunshine. (:

Anyway, byebye to bobby!

Cream of the crop.

Animosity, boiled and simmered
Selflessness, at a fortress with demons
Tested, friendship versus the romantic
Forgiveness, ever divine
Love?
Unconditional.

But sometimes, love just isn't enough.

5 years down the futuristic road, this is how people will address us.

Me - Liang Lao Shi / Miss Lio / Mrs ___(fill in blanks with prospective husband-to-be's surname)

Julian - Missy (oi sai ga wa cek wa eh ka chng?!)

Cheryl - ___(fill in blanks with type of journalist) Cheryl Chong. "Cheryl Chong reporting live from California".

Dana - Miss Ng. She will live by the slogan 'Uniquely Singapore'.

Priscelia - Creative Director of ___(fill in blanks with name of company)

Ingrid - Mrs Choo (for obvious reasons, lol)

-

I am going to bathe and meet the people for dinner. Hungry and in need of nicotine!

Guess who crashed Temasek Design Orientation Camp training camp?

I've been contemplating on my next hair experiment.




Had quite enough of bob. Think pixie-cut; alternatively you could picture something mollie-sue. Opinions please (I'll need them in abundance). The more the better!

On the contrary, I think this would be a better way of versing the chorus of this song.

From
When you go
And would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did yesterday"

To
When you go
And would you even turn to say
"I don't love you"
Like I did yesterday

Mama always tells me "when you desperately pray for someone, you cry because caring can be so tough". And today, I know why it is true as such.

So how do people cure emptiness? Because all I was trying to get across and confide in you tonight was that, emptiness became utter sorrow and I didn't choose for my shell to overtake me. I am not her now. I am not the friend you endearingly smother callings of "Lio" to. I am a tunnel without light. The gothic void welcome me back to the abyss.

But hey, I'm out of the sickened cycle. I ought to be happy. Yes?

Night has turned to dawn, and even at the arrival of sunrise, fatigue does not pester me. As the days swim by, like tidal signs of the numericals of my youth running up the calculator, they metamorphose into a contented sort of surrealism. Sheltered by a netted umbrella, I felt safer with your arms across my back. Seeing you almost every day for the past month has seemed to cause the keyboard to have raged my penned abode with expressions aplenty.

A friend commended on approving you and it was pioneer, that I should instantaneously receive compliments about you to me. One friend already loves you, and I'm sure the rest are going to too. I'm positively certain that this would be sending waves of smiles all over your face. I'd like to keep them that way.

And well, my gut feeling is nudging a tug, telling me that maybe you're just the right kind of 'chill pill' for me.

Just the simplest token exchange of dino candies and sushi, and there it was, a form of reciprocation. (In literal interpretations, it also meant that I thought of you and you thought of me too.)

I was clueless about what surprises the night had in store for us. Blame it on the hunger pangs for supper, that the sushi was being walloped. I had no heart to down it because the goodness was spilt all over the bag from Starbucks which preserved every sweet intention (other than the sushi). It was au natural and I don't think I'm capable of drafting out the chemistry and physics that were culprits of the conversations we held. Neither of us would forget about rating each other throughout passing hours. It was possibly endless, and there were remarkably beautiful discoveries.

Goodness would be futile and turn bad if I hadn't taken the next step towards consuming it. Right now, goodness itself is digesting in me and this very same goodness is convulsing overwhelming happiness. It is 5:14am and I sense no hurry to sleep.

Sushi is brewing me assurance that I am in good hands. Sushi made my tummy happy tonight. I hope dino candies made one tummy happy.

Cheryls at work! (No, that's not me beside her.)

How many packs of popcorn can you stuff into your arms?

Azie and hot lips.

Marc thought Azie and I you-know-you-know and it got me laughing aloud in front of the laptop. (No offence my dear Azie!)

The grass is always greener on the other side. When you're in, you want out. When you're out, you want in. When you're in with another, you want out just so you can be sipping that warm bowl of soup. But once you begin drinking too much warm soup, you yearn to change that taste on your buds, and so you work towards having pasta instead. Note, it is a want, not a need.

Could it possibly be, that that warm bowl of soup was simply a stepping stone of four years? Another thought, perhaps pasta was designed and perfected just to suit your wants and needs? Does that warm bowl of soup simply comfort you enough so you would be alright upon returning to consuming pasta? Does pasta satiate your hunger? Pasta is sufficient in every way to keep you alive.

You had your choice written all over that warm bowl of soup, then pasta, then that bowl of soup, then pasta again. Your decision switched as fickle as the food that kept its presence before you, served in golden platters on your table. I wasn't surprised when you told me your tongue felt burned.

And so, do you need a warm bowl of soup you were complacent for, or the pasta you're digging your fork into?

Because if you need a warm bowl of soup, it would be best to have you go to Boston, into a new town to leave it all behind, where you would start a new life, where you would start it over, where noone knew your name, where you would see the sunrise.

When campbell meets chill pill, this happens...

Chill pill azie says:
HAHA! kinda... oh wait!
Chill pill azie says:
means i know you for almost a month right?
campbell lio says:
HAHAHAHA
campbell lio says:
yesss chill pill azie.................
Chill pill azie says:
heh! hahahahaha so funny how things are
Chill pill azie says:
and ive been meeting you almost everyday for the past month
Chill pill azie says:
HEHE hahahaha
campbell lio says:
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR FIRST MSG TO ME IN FRIENDSTER
campbell lio says:
Azie wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out Azie's profile and send a reply.
A message from Azie:
i've never seen you before in school :)
campbell lio says:
OUR FIRST CONTACT SIA
campbell lio says:
hahahahahahaha
Chill pill azie says:
HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!
Chill pill azie says:
IM FREAKG LAUGHING OUT LOUD NOW
Chill pill azie says:
hahahhahahahahhahaha!!

That girl is cracking me up with finger outrages of hehes and hahas.

So here lay to rest was our love ever longed says:
VERY PROUD OF MY CAMPBELL

Such bittersweet relief. Letting go does not pose as an option. It all began approximately four months ago...

"I'm never, never going to forget this."
"Never say "never" ."
"Well there's a loophole, you know. You can say "never, never" if you mean it enough to say it twice."

I needed you like I breathed air. I loved you like a god. I moved on like it pained nothing. I cried like hurt designed for its sole purpose. Insanity took control. I slept, wishing there was never a new dawn. I thought I had put out a flame that would never ignite ever. I let loose the rope and I blanked, on a note of sickened monotony. I did this. Are you not proud for the slightest might I sold my soul for? Is this not what you would have me do? What you would have me do, I have done. Still, my genuity is seen hung for crucifiction at your beck and call.

My hopes have burst into shatters in my reigns of doom and my heart, perished in wilt. It is not Boston I want to go to, it is in the vanish of presence I would have performed. I don't eager at the mention of death. I just want to rot in lonely pain where nobody will discover me.

Don't cry, my friend, for I am still here. Anger never did walk the universe I have built for you.

On my way back home on foot, the wind purged my thoughts. If only everyday was about popcorn and candyfloss, I silently wished. The years aged us a little, lived a little, died a little; only difference is that I've loved and remembered a little more.

You annihilated footprints imprinted by that 'warm bowl of soup' and created renewed space for 'pasta'.

It is her you wished your cheeks belonged to, but I'm still in hold of them.

Here and now, I'm extending a huge apology to Azie and Edwin.

Your eyes betrayed you for the thousandth time. I counted them well and I've crippled this spell. For the thousandth time, betrayal has been freed of its hostage. What wicked deceit; the ones that carpet beneath this sinful bewitchment. It's all in the slap at the back of my head. Condoning and forgiving does not travel in parallels. You read these words well, you interpret them perpetually. The rear door has not been shut. They holler echoes that bell to the deaf. Such awakening, such pity, such tragedy.

How wicked, how cruel, how brutal, you can be. This has gotten to be so hard on me. Don't betray us anymore.

Today was supposed to be solely happy.

ROMP II.






That basket of the Azie is cackling away over the phone.

Hello Dana. I miss you very much.

Be well soon. You'll have my loving from now till the end.

PS, HOI what happened to our shoes and bags?

In boldness, tug the only thread. Kiss my tired eyes a sweet night, and shrivel with me in slumber. This way, the heart and the head do not have to separate.

Here, logic and emotions collide and merge. Here, I am self loving. Here, I rest.

Bethany Joy Lenz sounds so tranquil singing a song about Honesty. I wonder how she does it, shielding amidst implications. On the other hand, Imogen Heap is sorrowfully crooning her jaded heart to lyrical suicide of a Hide and Seek game.

And maybe I should sing myself in circles. This new cycling process should bring about familiarity.

Have you heard a song that evokes reminders of self-hate? Well I have, and it's time I hid and people stopped seeking. Mmm, what you say? Mmm that you only meant well, well of course you did. Mmm what did you say, that it's all for the best, of course it is. Mmm what you say, that it's just what we need? And you decided this. Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth. Midsweet talk, newspaper word cutouts. Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.

Please don't make me cry.

You're like a dream come true with piercing brown eyes. They mesmerize so smooth, I'm afraid of falling in them.

Oh, look what you've done. It was never right of you to brim these eyes with salt to pain.

Still isn't any more right. No sir-ee.

Are you going to stay with the one who loves you or are you going back to the one you love?

There's no easy way to see this through. All the broken dreams, all the disappointments. Oh girl, what are you going to do? Your heart keeps saying it's just not fair, but still you've got make up your mind.

So, are you going to stay with the one who loves you or are you going back to the one you love?

You know I love you when you're loving me
Sometimes it's better when it's publicly
I'm not ashamed, I don't care who sees
Us hugging & kissing our love exhibition all

We'll rendezvous out on the fire escape
I'd like to set off an alarm today
The love emergency don't make me wait
Just follow I'll lead you
I urgently need you

Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care
We just don't care
We just don't

Let's make love, let's go somewhere they might discover us
Let's get lost in lust
We just don't care,
We just don't care,
We just don't care.

I see you closing down the restaurant
Let's sneak and do it when your boss is gone
Everybody's leaving we'll have some fun
Or maybe it's wrong but you're turning on.
Ooh, we'll take a visit to your Mama's house
Creep to the bedroom while your Mama's out
Maybe she will hear it when we scream and shout
And we'll keep it rocking until she comes knocking

Let's go to the park
I wanna kiss you underneath the stars
Maybe we'll go too far
We just don't care

Let's make love,
Let's go somewhere they might discover us.
Let's get lost in lust
We just don't care

If we keep up on this fooling around
We'll be the talk of the town
I'll tell the world I'm in love any time
Let's open up the blinds 'cause we really don't mind

I don't care about the propriety
Let's break the rules and ignore society
Maybe our neighbor like to spy, it's true
So what if they watch when we do what we do

I am welcomed home, back to the abode of my dearest soulcleavage.