Timorousity Of Loneliness


Dread the uncomfy sensation of loneliness

It's is not a single day

That the array of my thoughts doesn't consist of You

Ah..

Tomorrow will be yet another

The torment of longing for the other half

Desires tranpose to obsession

The times without You transcends me

As if eternity was hell itself

The need for You grows

I've become unmitigatedly dependant on your love

Every occasion when loneliness besets

I stumble on reasons to blame You for neglection

This is Me

Fervently in love with You



//You Light Up My Darkened Days

Never Let The Heart Speak Too Easily

Fingers froze

Contemplating on clicking the 'Send' button

Then voila

"Your email has been sent"

Now I sit by and await her respond to it

Pondering over the reasons on my obsession with You

I need You right beside me

I'm feeling blue

From the absence of You

Will You be here?




//My World Crumbles When You Are Not Here

Furiousity Is Temporary, Patience Persists

We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect
We apprehend it just as much by feeling
Feelings which God grants as much privileges as love.
Adapt to slowing down
Before one can take no longer of the world's gravity
And result only in breaking down.
Goodbyes sting
Ever hard to let go
Never allow destiny take over
All it ever did was to take away everything there is to you
I can do anything I like
I get anything I want,
All I have to do is to keep my beliefs going strong
Nothing decides impossibility until one perishes
What I thought would never come true,
Did.
You were a dream come true
Yes the night before haunted me
With reflections of the Past
Clearly, paranoia describes me
Sleepless night last night
Every minute that thoughts of You made entrance
I tossed a turn
Clearly I'm finding it harder and harder to live without You
Not that I am
But it's the fear that keeps coming back
The messages last night
The call this morning
Overlayered doubts and fears
All the love I've ever dreamed of is the love You give
We have conversations on Forever
Our forever that is.
And so darling,
What I'm trying to say at the end of this is :
Anger doesn't exist in my vocabulary for You
You have moulded me into a better person
Into one who yearns to be her best
Just for You.
This is how badly I wish to keep You for always
It is every I Love You I say to You that I truly mean

//I would rather hurt myself than to ever make You cry

I Can't Decipher Which Comes First, You Or You

Once again
I have my ass back rooted onto the seat in front of the blog window
The familiar fragrance of the rain lingers in my breathing
Thus causing me to turn nostalgic
Recalling anything that happened today.
Mission Retreat wasn't what I had in mind at all
Dances didn't intrigue me
If I were to look at it as a mission retreat
Each and every one of us were given heart shaped cards
We were suppose to fill in our heartfelt Thank Yous and Sorrys
To Friends.
Serena took Us on this psychological cum spiritual flash back
In my case,
It'll be 10 years worth of memories
So gonna miss KC then
Anyway
Gf gave me a call straight after school was over
Love the feeling whenever I hear her voice
Or simply just receiving the simplest sms from her
Clueless what I'll be without her
Oh yah
Did You know

I Love You

So

So

Much

Things To Accomplish By Tonight :
1. Literature Julius Caesar Essay
2. Study for Sng's Math Test on Statistics & Probability
3. Revise Geography
4. Reflect guiltily on my prelim results

Jeff + Cheryl = Forever

Devi was at it again
Irritated me big time
And again
Bf wasn't present
Starting to miss that girl
Reen and I have plans to buy this digital camera after O's
Budget = $300?
Planning to get the black one
Reen's mind's set on orange
The Felicia Low finally hung up The Paintings at the gallery
Quite embarrassing and awkward when she was standing on the ladder
She didn't realise there was cleavage from where I was standing
I simply shifted to another position to avoid eye sores
Well well
The Miss Low is afraid of falling off the ladder
Squealed like a lady
Not her at all.
Was trying to hook the nylon string onto the wooden plank
Repeated make the same mistake of taking the wrong hoop
Jun was laughing?
Jun Sara YuYing helped with the shifting
Thanks guys
And of course
Won't leave The Gf out
That girl
Used her handphone during exams
Got into trouble with the teacher
Dad had to go to her rescue
Tsk
Hope her paper's not that tough
Love You so much.

//I Don't Ever Spend A Moment Apart

Lost in You

Guilty backtracks dreamily
Guilt within suppresses me
Numerous tasks and obligations to accomplish
Yet it seems impossible to surpass this stage -
Missing Her.
The person who captured my entire being
The person who draws a smile out of every drop of tear wept
Is the very person who never fails to force everything out of me
My best, my tears, my utmost concern, the depression
Priorities switched
Lead me into the right direction
A positive mindset is all I ever need to get through with Life
But even that I can't promise success
I'm not who I was
Is it just about possession of the other half?
Is it plainly Love?
Or does it consist of both?
The One whose attention I yearn for
Is the only One who doesn't satisfy me with enough.
Rebel lives in her
She neither obeys nor heeds
Am I just some official standby worrier
Or am I The Gf she truly loves?
Heart to heart conversations end up futile
I want to understand
Not just be aware
My love for You changes for the increase every single day
And yes
I love You
Nothing will ever change that
I turn to God
In times like these
Confusion, depression and misdirection
Keep the little faith I'm left with hanging there

Argh Cheryl you fucking mug
29 days left

*Look outside the window
If the branches swing gently in the wind
Then the one you love
Is loving you, too
Open your ears
If you hear your heartbeat
Then the person you love
Is loving you, too
Close your eyes
If there ¡s a smile on your lips,
Then the person you love
Is loving you, too*


//I never want to create those sighs from the Angel I'm loving

It's much deeper than it seems

Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug
-Chants-
Jaime failed me the last minute
Over Time she says.
So tuition's tomorrow
Countdown to 'O' Levels : 30 more days

Ours is a relationship noone can comprehend
People judge You
Never will I do that
They doubt your ability and will to return my love
I think otherwise
You think loneliness haunts me
No it doesnt
It's only about the difficulty in expressing it
But
One thing You do not know
I am aware of how You feel
Ending it all would seem the best solution to all problems
But we know neither of us can do without each other
Once bitten twice shy
Never will I want to be close to losing You again
Obstacles are inevitable
They are little trials for us to persevere through
Everything I do is for You.
Stress may have gotten into You
You have no idea how to cope
Let's do this together
I'll always be here for You
You're the dearest to me

//If Loving You With All My Heart Is A Crime, Then I'm Guilty

If

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away

Went back to school
Fix up my art pieces
As soon as I started to drill into my acrylic piece
The drill ran out of battery
Being the impatient girl I am
I left for airport
Jazz was late for more than an hour
Thanks alot =/
Taught Jazz a lil bit of Emath
Jazz ended up writing 'Jazz Loves Janice' on the back page of her English book
Revising through Geography
But got distracted
Missed Her
Felt like seeing Her
So Jazz and I took a bus down to Her place
Jazz wanted to meet Janice so we headed to Hougang Mall
Dear was cold to me from Her place to Hougang Mall
But she couldn't resist not being intimate with me
I was assured that I would never be left
It was just a case of not being able to express herself
I love You no matter what
Walked me all the way to her granny's
Then She walked home
Me?
Took 81 back
Poured horrendously
Ended up drenched
Missing Gf now
She changed the topic just now
To this :

[00:56] *** BluE_blUe changes topic to " [I]cY_bLuE.wO ai Ni Yi sHeNg Yi SI ... LaO pO.[c]_bErYL "

//My world revolves around You

Happy One Month Anniversary Dear !!

Once again
I wanna announce to the world (actually all those reading this only)
I love my Gf
More than anything else
Today's the First Month that we've been together
She had detention
We didn't get to meet up today
Let my imagination run wild again
I miss You
Thus having me worrying right from the minute her exams ended
Anyways bf wasnt in school today
So I replaced that vacant seat again
Attended Ngee Ann's Mass Comm and Business talks today
Sp's business courses seem monotonous.
The representative lecturer couldn't stop on his lame soccer passion
Headed to parkway later to finish up The Class' page for the year book
Loads of pictures put up
Still worried for Jeff
Hoping she'll be home soon
I miss You.


Stay

You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so

And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you

You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative, no no no

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you

You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave"
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you

You said, "you caught me cause you want me and one day you let me go"
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay"

You say I only hear what I want to

Happy Children's Day !!

The bells rung
Here we all are
Another month forward in our lives
Another step closer to the future
A day more,
Marks out First Month being together
Quick isn't it?
Didn't attend school again
School's having poly talks
Totally forgot about that
Damn
Jeff's still soundly in bed
While I'm awake
Attempting to cramp Chemistry into my head
Know what?
I miss her so much
Gonna do something sweet for our First Month Anniversary
Have no idea what actually
But hey
Will do anything to let her know
She'll always be loved by me
Being with her,
Makes me feels that forever isn't impossible
I love her
She loves me
That's all that matters


//I will start every beginning with You, and end only at Forever