August 30th Saturday,
Deadline for O levels art.
Still have two more paintings to go.
Stressed.

New tutor came.
Woah she had this wonderful tan.
But that ain't the point.
The point is...
She taught well and I understood the heehaws she was explaining.
-Beams-
Quite a pleasant day today.
Shall be glad for it.
Almost didn't make it on time for school today.
Deprived of sleep.

Sighs.
I can actually feel the fear.
Of that day.
Approaching in 15 days.
Fate is one hell of a bad planner.
Made this day both joyous and depressing.

Liars.
Why even bother being here?
Why cheat on other's feelings?
Why deceive others just to get what You want?
You do nothing but hurt the people around you.
And amongst those People are those I care about.
So screw you all.
And to the bitches who keep smsing me for Someone,
Quit doing so.

Afraid to fall deeper for You.
The games people play nowadays makes me doubt myself.
Yes it's the lil squabbles that makes a love grow strong,
But what if it's too the squabbles that causes the distances between two person to widen?
Sometimes scars do not fade off.
They are there to stay.
There are times when you cannot accept the fact that great things once happened to you,
And then left you.
It all came and left too soon.
I must be crazy.
Actually went to interchange in the morning to see I would bump into her.
Silly silly.
If I have left one day,
Would You ever miss me?
Girl you brighten up the before-lousy days I have,
You make me contented just knowing that you're happy.
Whenever you speak,
My knees turn weak and I swear I could just watch You from afar.
Though Yes it's not enough.
But look I just want You to be happy,
Regardless of whether it's with or without me.
I'm dying inside to hold you tight.
Yet afraid to tell You I Love You.
Afraid You may not accept them.
Felt hurt when I saw other throw themselves at You.
Will You just say something to make me feel better?
I can't stop these tears from falling.
You left without saying Goodbyes.
People usually do.
Love is a beautiful feeling that can never be measured with other terms.
And I'm in love with You.
I feel bliss just knowing You tried to care.
I'm sorry.
Don't be angry k.

There is something in your smile that brings me contentment..

It's no use lookin' back or wonderin'
Because Love is strange and funny thing.
No matter how hard I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
I never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found You
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my Baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with You

Fuck it.
Piano tuition.
Just kills the lil bit of Sunday holiday I have left.

Am I living a lie?
Where I'm standing,
Nothing matters without You.
Why are You different compared to the rest?
Why do I feel tinglish whenever You make me smile?
Why do You care this minute and don't the other?
Why is it that the real things hurt?
Why be afraid to hurt me when lying to me will hurt me more?
Why do I yearn for your attention?
Why can't I be satisfied with what I have right now?
A million questions but not a single answer.
Really don't know who stands where in my life now.
My world feels as if it ends right here.
When life gets too much for me to handle,
I just sit back,
And cry.
Crying never helps but it is the first reaction to sadness,
Don't you think so?

If I'd be gone tomorrow,
Would You know how deep my love goes?
If I was gone forever,
Would You know how much I care?

**I'll be there for better or worse**

See,
This is what happens when I'm home too long.
Heeded Dcd's suggestion and saw this flash mtv.
Imaginations went wild,
I lose confidence in myself once again.
Have no idea what I want anymore.

Thought abt |10|.
Miss her badly.
The one year anniversary is approaching.
Afraid that I will be as emotionally unstable as exactly a year back.
Wished that God hadn't taken her away this soon.
Cherish those you love and those who love you.
You never will know who is next to be taken away.
Your heart is a small miracle,
Using the heart to love is the big miracle.
The last thing on my mind I could live without was |10|.
Yet she ended up to be the first.
Not fair to any of us,
Including her.

+Addicted to You+

Dcd came online just now.
Happy happy,
Long time since we had a good chat.

Best friend is upset and confused today.
To best friend : Don't be too upset yeah?
Will be here for you Always..

Today both |43| and I are studying.
Only got this teensy bit of information from the books into my head.
Can't absorb much.

All I can think about is You.
Why??
When I close my eyes,
There is this perfect picture of You and me.
When I open them,
there never gonna be such a picture..

Walk On By

Every time you walk on by
I try to say something'
But end up with nothing'
Every time you walk on by

I keep my cool
I pretend I'm not in
Every time you come too near
I'm such a fool cause
This love is true
And if I don't tell you
Someone else surely will

Everywhere I turn
I see your face
Reminding me of a higher place
Every time you smile, Angels cry
Every time you walk on by

I'm not the only
Feeling' lonely
Every time you walk on by
I try to say something'
But end up with nothing'
Every time you walk on by

Feeling' lonely

If I ever see you again
This craziness must find an end
I look at you and I promise myself

I'm not the only
Feeling' lonely
Every time you walk on by
I try to say something'
But end up with nothing'
Every time you walk on by

The Moffatts - Always In My Heart

It is You I have loved all along..

Again,
Went out with Fabian and sister.
Uncontrollable crazy dumb peewees the both of them.
But their company was entertaining.

Didn't get replies from Her till 10:16pm.
Was worrying for nothing.
Wada nut I am.
Swore I flooded Her inbox.
Irritant me!
Paranoia.
Suffering big time from it man.
Sorry Dear,
For getting us Both worried.
You're special to me.

Gosh,
The comment system is NOT serving its purpose.
Hardly anyone is commenting.
But please,
Comment kindly
Nothing else already.

<<17 Within You I lose myself. Without You I find myself wanting to become lost again 43>>

Today is special.
That is because,
I'm Hers and She is mine.
She is the one and only |43|.
24th June 2003.
To |43| : I will treasure You in every second that we are together.

Went Science centre today.
Kinda boring.
Enjoyed the Optical Illusions bit.
Was always fascinated by those kinda things.

o+ Minutes turn to hours without You +o

These are pictures from Chiann Huey's Birthday Party..




And this, was taken in school during Book and Music Week.

Still have no idea what to name my dog.
Ivy was its previous name.
Too humane.
Thinking of some name that is more animalic.
Gee did I just come up with the word animalic?

Relationships..
Am I having this phobia of it?
Am I presuming Her to be the Her?
Committing isn't the problem.

|43| has shown me nothing but concern care and understanding.
Thank you so much.
Really appreciate it.

Annabel's staying over tonight.
Fun!
Dog is at kitchen checking out the food.
Mom is pissed at dog for clinging on to her only when there is food.
Adorable fella.

Life is easier to cope with now,
Which is a good thing.

Hey dudes which aren't invited in here,
Quit doing so.
Kindly fuck outta my life for good.
Like you said,
'Don't step in and out of my life as if it was a hotel'
Don't leave a single footprint in my life.
Don't leave traces here and there.

+o As long as You love me o+

The Lost Soul


What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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Fixing A Broken Heart

There was nothing to say
the day she left
just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I held a taxi in the rain
looking for someplace to ease the pain

Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found u there
you really know where to start
fixing a broken heart
you really know what to do
your emotional tools can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart
fixing a broken heart

Now I don't understand what I'm going through
there must be a plan that lead me to you
because the hurt just disappeares
in every moment that you are near

Just like an answered prayer
you made the loneliness easy to bear

You really know where to start
fixing my broken heart
you really know what to do
your emotional tools can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart
fixing a broken heart

Surely the wind will stop falling baby
and I'll forget the past
cuz here we are at last
you really know where to start
fixing a broken heart
you really know what to do
your emotional tools can cure any fool
whose dreams have fallen apart

Fixing a broken heart

I Love You still...

Chiann Huey's Birthday~
Happy 16th Birthday Best Friend!
Love you lots.
Thank you for everything.
Friends forever =)

Sky was online just now.
Get away from my friends you fiendish liar.
I hate you.

My sister.
Fresh new topic in this blog.
I have no idea why I get so frustrated at her at times.
All she needs are her friends.
Mum told me she loves me loads actually.
But what the hell does she do apart from getting me compared as a lower member of the family,
Mess around with my stuff,
Do things to make my blood boil.
But June,
You know you are so dear to me.
You know your big sis loves ya.

To June : I'm sorry for being so mean.
Felt the after effects after lecturing you,
The pain.
Didn't mean to hurt you lil brat.

My world crumbled on me just.
Pei lectured me,
Explains why I'm in such a foul mood.
I'm at a loss of what to do already.
Have tried everything.
It hurts so bad.
Tears were uncontrollable.

Im lost.. Lost in your cruelty now.. Why do I love you?