New found solace grounds for writing, and vice versa, new writing grounds for solace; permanent shift of the world I call mine.

IDNL. IDNY. IDNA. YPTC.

Soulcleavage, no doubt you have been a form of therapy, but the release that I used to derive from confiding in you have brought about fragility. You have thus brought me too much memories that no longer do I wish to hold close and endearing to me.

I am shaken awake, and I am done being read. Good bye.

And I'm alright
Standing in the streetlights here
Is this meant for me
My time on the outside is over
We don't know how you're spending
all of your days
Knowing that love isn't here
You see the pictures
But you don't know their names
Cause love isn't here

And I can't do this by myself
All of these problems, they're all in your head
And I can't be somebody else
You took something perfect
And painted it red

No sympathy
When shouting out is all you know
Behind your lies
I can see the secrets you don't show
We don't know how you're spending
All of your days
Knowing that love isn't here
You see the pictures
But you don't know their names
Cause love isn't here

And I can't do this by myself
All of these problems, they're all in your head
And I can't be somebody else
You took something perfect
And painted it red
When you took something perfect
And painted it red

You take the best things from
Then everything gets empty
That's not a world that I need
You take the best things from me
Then everything gets empty
That's not a world that I need


Daniel Merriweather - Red


Merriweather. Funny name. This is such an 'ouch' song. I don't know what is absolutely wrong with bittorrent. It refuses to let me download Lady Gaga and John Mayer's new album in peace without prompting me that the path cannot be specified.

Anyway, happy 22nd 18th birthday Dana! Love you much! <3

I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I’ll find what I’ve been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m going to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down


Jason Walker - Down


It's amusing. It's stingingly amusing. Stop making me feel like this. Please. Just try and listen. Just be around to try.

For once in the longest time ever, me and Mr Golden Sun are actually seeing eye to eye! It's going to be a fabulous day getting soaked in the yummy sun! Goodbye to fairness!

I miss the Baby Mak Wai Keat! (((:

Edit//9:26pm
Both Baby and I are burnt nearly black. (((((((:

I actually feel much better after watching Lady Gaga's Bad Romance music video. It kind of makes anybody divert the center of gravity of emotions, to angst or anger of some sort.

I just want to get out of this empty shit hole tonight.

So throw me a rope to hold me in place. Show me a clock for counting my days down. Cause everything's easier when you're beside me. Come back and find me, cause I feel alone.

If I walk, would you run?
If I stop, would you come?
If I say you're the one, would you believe me?
If I ask you to stay, would you show me the way?
Tell me what to say so you don't leave me.
The world is catching up to you
While you're running away to chase your dream
It's time for us to make a move cause we are asking one another to change

And maybe I'm not ready
But I'll try for your love
I can hide up above
I will try for your love
We've been hiding enough


Asher Book - Try


I know the answers to the questions in the song.

Goodie goodie! I'm waiting for Baby to be done showering so that we'll finally be able to head out and play the much-awaited L4D2! I've tried a tiny bit of the demo though. Saucepan as melee weapon (lol). 

I still haven't had my red ruby dessert! Shall buy Baby Mak to get it with me later. (((:

Let's spell something.

What about. G O D D A M N E D P I S S E D.

A Steamy Affair Gathering!

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter
As long as I'm laughing with you
I'm thinkin' that all that still matters is love ever after
After the life we've been through
'Cause I know there's no life after you

Chris Daughtry - Life After You


Our song. (:

I love you so much, and sometimes I wish you could love me exactly the way I do you, so that you would understand why it hurts so persistently having to be anonymously misjudged by the people that matter to you.

I've always been brilliant with words, words to make something simple turn into jargons of magic. But for once in my life, I'm actually brilliant with my actions. It's impressively a good thing, and I hope you do realise that you are, in fact, the most special person I've ever come across and loved.

2010 is arriving in bits and fragments of time. Portions of 2010 are already pathed out for me and being human, I am afraid of sorrow, which will definitely come my way. Come 2010, we'll soon be turning 23 and I hope we see the 23rd year of our lives together.

But you're so busy changing the world
Just one smile can change all of mine

Jack Johnson - Angel


I guess cynicism is inevitable when loving is afraid of the losing. We've all had our fair fare of our histories and we've all lost before, haven't we?

I have been so happy these days that I'm scared of what's waiting for me after it ends, because happiness never really lasts. Does it?

Jerome is playing The Saltwater Room on the guitar to me over the phone. Meltdown into a puddle of goo of a heart. It sounds so sweet that I am actually swooning!!!

Serenading me until we're old and 80. ((:

GUESS WHAT. BABY AND I ARE GOING TO BUY TICKETS TO WATCH... (-inserts drum-rolls-)

1. THE KILLERS ON 23RD JANUARY 2010 (my half year monthsary to us!)
2. MUSE ON 3RD FEBRUARY 2010 (his 7th monthsary present to us!)

I am high to the skies and I am damn stoked!

The Leonid metor shower happens tonight, in less than 10 minutes. And when the stars fall across the skies from where I am able to see it, I will think of you, I will listen to Owl City's The Salterwater Room , and I'll thank God for you.

And it already is perfect.

I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you
But everything here is telling me I should be fine
So why is it so, above as below,
That I'm missing you every time

I got used to you whispering things to me into the evening
We followed the sun and its colours and left this world
It seems to me that I'm definitely
Hearing the best that I've heard

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone

And whenever you go it's like holding my breath underwater
I have to admit that I kind of like it when I do
Oh but I've got to be unconditionally
Unafraid of my days without you

So throw me a rope to hold me in place
Show me a clock for counting my days down
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Whenever I'm falling you're always behind me
Come back and find me
Cause everything's easier when you're beside me
Come back and find me
Cause I feel alone


KT Tunstall - Throw Me A Rope


This is such a bittersweet November song. I've got a hunch that this is going to be the best November I've had in a really many years.

Jerome and I do have our ups and downs but this is the first time I can boldly claim a relationship as ours instead of just mine. It's overwhelmingly perfect, that for the first time, I can truthfully answer friends "we're doing great!" when they ask about us (me and Jerome). I don't think I've been happy for this consecutively this long in the longest time I can remember. It's been approximately six months of being in love and love is beautiful when it's with Jerome. It's also the first time I have managed to embrace a partner's shortcomings and compromise with them, while correcting my own. No doubt this relationship has its difficulties and tremendously trying times, but every time obstacles come our way, we actually compromise in such subtle and improvise with baby steps. I can barely believe it myself, but these baby steps are helping us deal with our problems very amazingly. Best part is, we hardly planned any of this - fancying each other, courting each other, falling in love and unknowingly pathing a lifetime of years ahead of us. I can't get sick of finally being able to claim genuine joy from being in love. Sometimes it gets painful, being afraid of what's incoming for us, but more than often, I find myself realizing I'm really in for a good haul with Jerome this time. I don't think I have ever believed being happy in a long-term relationship. Sure, honeymoon is over but it's still really sweet.

So yes, I am thankful, I am hopeful, I am happy, and I am madly in love. (:

Baby steps. Those are the ones that are the mightiest of our lives.

Before even talking about trust, does anyone even realise that there is no such thing as complete trust? There's always room for some form of doubts. Either that, or it's ignorance at its play. If there's worry or insecurity, there's no full trust. So a hundred percent trust is never going to happen. More than often, we trust too much on the bad pages of life. I guess all of us having read this and thought about this ought to actualize trusting more on faith. Because however cliche it is, a little faith makes us stronger people and keeps us from falling the wrong hole.

Pennies for a thought.

Other than that, it's been a much better night tonight. Much better than last night at least, which was a horror to have to live through. And although Jerome couldn't be here physically for me, I'm contented that he was obscenely tolerant with me and concerned for me, and for the fact that he wanted to drive all the way down at 4am just to make sure I'm alright. So thank you Baby. No more MIA alright? We're good. I'm happy. You make me happiest.

I love being in love with you, and I love you.

“ If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there’s a whole bunch of colored wires and I’m not sure which is the right one to cut but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no, the red one, then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left but then you don’t leave. Like that, okay?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.


Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here


Indeed. If only you were here.

But I love you.

I guess I'll never know, why sparrows love the snow.

I just had a conversation regarding the divorce with my mother and sister, which turned out upsetting to all parties. It's getting difficult to believe. It's frightening to believe in something you hold so much weight in. It hurts to believe, not knowing if believing is truth on its own. It's sad, feeling that nobody thinks you're worthy. It's heartbreaking, hearing your mother determined to leave a past you've lived with, with her, with your sister fighting to reconcile a broken marriage that is not her proble to begin with. It's warped and twisted, hearing your sister break down in tears trying to drive a point across that divorce is just not the solution to anything. It's riddling, wanting your mother to be happy and at the same time not wanting to desert your father into an abyss of loneliness. It's surrealism in its most painful phase, when you know there's still hope but nobody's willing to risk being hurt any further. It's breaking my heart, having to sit here and getting further used to this motion of damage.

So yes, it's hard, being here and having to write endlessly about a dilemma I cannot do anything about.

Please tell me you'll love me longer than they did, please tell me you'll love me better than they loved, please tell me you'll never walk away from me and not turn back, please tell me you'll never repeat this nightmare on me with us, please tell me that you're staying for good, please tell me that this is going to last. Because I believe in us, and I need you.

You're automatic,
And your heart's like an engine
I die with every beat
You're automatic,
And your voice is electric
Why do I still believe?

It's automatic
Everywhere in your letter
A lie that makes me bleed
It's automatic
When you say things get better
But they never...

There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you

It's automatic,
Counting cars on a crossroad
They come and go like you
It's automatic,
Watching faces I don't know
Erase the face of you

It's automatic
Systematic
So traumatic
You're automatic

There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you


Tokio Hotel - Automatic


This song is angsty. I like.

Me and my sister, we found our cat downstairs. Yes, it's Lewry! Still loitering around our block. My heart instantly melted when he reacted to his name. I'm wondering if he misses the childhood spent in the toilet, or does he actually prefer the carefree life. It felt good to find something you thought you lost, realizing someday in unpredictable ways, that you've never lost it and that it is just a little further away.

Little things in life that deserve attention and appreciation. Don't you think?

Awww...

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched as he tried to reassemble it

And my mama swore
That she would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But, darling, you are the only exception
But you are the only exception

Well, maybe I know somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance
And up until now, I had sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness
Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, you are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

You are the only exception


Paramore - The Only Exception

All this while, it has been difficult finally growing up and realising that there are loving married couples and parents out there; more so when I'm already in my twenties and actually all grown up enough to feel tremendous heart pangs from absorbing the reality of my parents materializing a divorce. While age used to be more tender, I often told myself that it would be easier once I become an adult. But now that I'm where I imagined myself to be many years ago, it feels harder. Perhaps it consumes me deeper at this point for the fact that it is happening. I've always found myself looking for love and eventually being in love with the idea of being in love, knowing that I do not believe in it lasting. I am honestly still a large disbeliever of people and marriage getting together to fulfill a concept of God's greatest sacred gift to a man and a woman. Don't get me wrong. I do believe in marriage. I just don't believe in people committing to it like their promise they would, be it in a relationship or a marriage.

Sure, it's not easy fighting on in a relationship or marriage, with setbacks occurring one after another. But often I riddle myself with the question of how anybody could ever forsake a loved one, especially after such a long term of time. Some tell me that time doesn't matter. Well, it really does to me. The longer you love, the deeper and more mature it becomes. And when it deepens and matures, two people grow from it and become better. With time, comes emotional attachments and sentiments. How are these ever deniable?

And with all that has happened, is happening and is about to happen, I find myself faithless and sometimes, broken apart. I remind myself that Jerome will eventually leave me someday, just like most men do. I urge myself to remember the pain that my mother has been going through, so as to never permit myself to ever near this circumstance of abadonment. I am scared. I am afraid to lose the one(s) I love. I am afraid to feel lonely. I am scared of being forsaken. And hence, I am afraid to love.

"...but it's okay. I have you", so Blair tells Chuck. And yes, everything is okay and everything is going to be okay. I have you. I think I love you more than I myself think I do. All night through, I was kept captive in my thoughts and it hit me that I do want to take care of you for all time, whether or not you will ever end up needing me around for the rest of your lifetime. It shouldn't matter if you'll ever leave, because I have you now and now is all I have.

Everything is broken.

Fix me.

Mmm what you say
Mmm that you only meant well
Well of course you did
Mmm what you say
Mmm that it's all for the best
Of course it is
Mmm what you say
Mmm that it's just what we need
You decided this
Mmm what you say
Mmm what did she say

Ransom notes keeps falling out your mouth
Midsweet talk newspaper word cut-outs
Speak no feeling no I don't believe you
You don't care a bit, no you don't care a bit


Imogen Heap - Hide & Seek

Usually when things have gone this far
People tend to disappear
No one will surprise me unless you do

I can tell there's something goin' on
Hours seem to disappear
Everyone is leaving
I'm still with you


Peter Bjorn And John - Young Folks

"All the beauty I thought lost in the world is in you and around you. When I am near you I no longer feel my being contracting and shriveling. This terrible fatigue which consumes me is lifted. This fatigue I feel when I am not with you is so enormous that it is like what God must have felt at the beginning of the world, seeing all the world uncreated, formless, and calling to be created. I feel a fatigue of the tongue seeking to utter impossible things until it twists itself into a knot and chokes me. I feel a fatigue at this mass of nerves seeking to uphold a world that is falling apart. I feel a fatigue at the feeling, at the fervor of my dreams, the fervor of my thought, the intensity of my hallucinations. A fatigue at the sufferings of others and my own. I feel my own blood thundering inside of me, I feel the horror of falling into abysms. But you and I would always fall together and I would not be afraid."

Under a Glass Bell; "Je suis le plus malade des Surrealistes" by Anais Nin

Happy birthday, Mummy. You've turned 50 now and this year, I'm wishing you something different although it's the same thing that's being said every single year since I've been growing up.

This year, I'm wishing you happiness and the love you truly deserve, even if it's to the extent of separation with him. I wish you strength, to overcome all these hardships because they will never end, not for you and not for me. I'm wishing you something you deserve, not something I wished for all along. I'm wishing you God and His blessings, his guidance and his hands to hold you when life strikes you brutally. I wish you peace, when fragility and loneliness gets around too much to be bore. I wish you the best love from your daughters, inclusive of myself, that they never forsake you, especially during times when you need them the most. I wish you family love, from your brothers and sisters, from the ones God have sent to watch over and care for you as their own kin. I wish you love, from all those who already do, and from all those who promised you to, and from all those who claim to. I wish you forgiveness, that you may forgive those who have contributed to harming and hurting and eventually changing you, forcing you into a path you did not choose. I wish you all the best things in the world that material cannot afford.

Yes, happy birthday Mummy. These are all that I want for you this time round, this year. I want you to do what is right for yourself. I need you to be happy. May age never fray you, and may birthdays always remind you of joyous moments of loved ones. May this birthday give you some indescribable sense of peace and contentment. May God show you hope, because there is so much hope everywhere. May God show you the right time, people and places to find hope.

I love you Mummy. I've never said it out loud and often take you forgranted, but there is no doubt that you are the most important woman in my life for you firstly, have given me the life.

Comm law paper has resulted me in an aching hand and a heavy bout of sleepiness. Immediately headed to Yishun to buy Baby lunch after my paper. He actually kept me company last night while I was revising for comm law.

Mummy gave Jerome and me a teppanyaki treat yesterday - her advanced 50th birthday celebration. The silliest thing happened, and that was me being choked by a codfish bone. It was the first time I was ever choked so badly, and it actually lasted until today.

3 down. Last one to go!

When you love someone, it is said that you love their strengths and their flaws - their plainness and their craziness, their celery-prisoned teeth and their monstrous blechs, their cocoon-shrivelled sleeping positions and their morning breath, their bad-made breakfasts and lunches and dinners. You love them for their delightful hype-filled moods and likewise you love them in their massive breakdowns, you love them (and look away from the speed meter) even when they're speeding on the highway and may end up killing you, you love them for the way ice cream stains the corners of their lips and you love them when they smear lipped-leftover ice-cream across your face, you love them even when they tell you in a thousand ways that you're imperfect and they mean it, you love them for the way their scent lingers somehow. Their fright for beetles adores you and you love the way you save them from fear, you love them for the way they let you protect them like they were exclusively yours infinitely, you love them more because you get scared that "goodbye" will be the next thing you say to one another, you love the way you reminisce about silly fights and you love the way you fight but know that you're madly in love. You love them for the way they leave cartoon post-its on your examination notes and you love re-looking at them. You love them although they've left you crying to sleep by yourself. You love them for the way they make you feel whenever you're both shopping for Christmas decorations and you love them for the way they pick the same pieces from the stores as you do. You love them even though they don't reply your messages, you realise you love them more whenever they do. You love the way you feel whenever you read past texts and feel fluttery all over again, you love to hate and hate to love the bittersweet tugging feeling at the heart everytime they're not there and you read these to sleep. You love attending Sunday masses with them and you love how proud you feel being next to them at church. You love beginning to love things you usually hated, because they change your perceptions and because their perceptions become yours. You love the way you love them, regardless of how trying circumstances and obstacles get. You love them, for who they exactly are although that's exactly the part that breaks your heart. You love them, knowing hurt will road your way eventually. You love them, knowing they are the ones who possess the ability to light a smile from your heart. So yes, it is said that if you love someone, you love with all overwhelming lack of care of what's going to end you up in in time. You love, unconditionally. You begin to live to love. Your heart no longer belongs to you and you know it at the back of any ABCs. You know you've loved, if it hurts; and if it hurts, you've loved.

These are risks that are eating inside me, but with every ounce of the being I am, I love you and I love you beyond all your shortcomings. You're not perfect, but neither am I, and that's probably how we fix each other. I am yours and you are mine.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die...

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop...

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

Kelly Clarkson - Already Gone


I'm hooked onto this song. It's been on repeat, wherever I go, whenever I'm alone.

I need something heartfelt. I feel alone.

The only good thing about today is that I owned the paper, and not vice versa. The girl seated next to me in the examination hall fell completely asleep on her incomplete paper, after half an hour of attempting it.

The other good thing... well there isn't any.

Nice weather.

I must persevere. I must study. I must pass.

It's a low day, a very low day. When everything hits rock bottom, the only way to go is up. I think those are lies. Everything's a huge lie fabricated by delusional point of views.

I must look forward.

8 more minutes to my all-day awaited HK drama. It's 45 minutes off the books then it's back to them.

Jerome's fault. Now I'm craving for grape snow shake with pearls. =(

Well I said I didn't care about what you felt about me
Couldn't care less about what I said or done
I didn't mean it - its not what I meant to say
You know the truth is that I care
About what you think about me
Maybe too much, I've been puttin' on a front
I didn't mean it - and what I meant to say

Is you are incredible you are amazing
You blow my mind one of a kind
I'm having a meltdown
You are incredible you are amazing
But sometimes telling the truth
Is easier said than done,
"Don't leave baby" -
Now that's what I meant to say

Darius Danesh - Incredible


You're amazing, incredible, wonderful, beautiful and you are mine. (: I love you Mai Hui Jie.

Mummy always sings,"happiness is... (fills in her own descriptions)".

Right now at this very moment, happiness is something that ends the very moment it starts.

These R&B and hip hop people have blasphemed Imogen Heap.

My Jerome Mak loves me. And that alone, is the universe for me to be thankful for.

"That's how you stay alive; when it hurts so much you can't breathe. That's how you survive."
-Grey's Anatomy

Once more, it's a tedious and lethargic overnight haul at the airport tonight. Mugging has been more bearable this semester, with Jerome urging and picking on me to get down to the books. The post-examination getaway to Sunway Lagoon shall be my motivation.

The weekends were awesome! The boyfriend organized a little barbeque session with my mum as her pre-birthday celebration, since we'll be cooped up with examinations during that period. We barbequeed right outside my home, alongside the leather couch, and we ate and drank until we slept. It has been amazing.

So now, hunger strikes and my chocolate teddies are staring at me.

"I love Us."

Oh yes baby, I really do.

Last night's date was wonderful, planned by the wonderfullest boyfriend himself. Thank you darl. (((:

Mama told me that there are angels who hang their faces down. Their heads wilt toward the grounds because it is us they are guardians to, that wouldn't look up to the heavens for faith.

Everybody's busy breaking up. I'm busy feeling scared from watching.

Happy 3rd monthsary, sweetheart.

Third month together on Wednesday! (:

Muse's 2009 album, The Resistance, is out at long last!

You trick your lovers,
That you're wicked and divine,
You may be a sinner,
But your innocence is mine

"I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything." -Oscar Wilde

How true or untrue is this?

Me: June's not gonna like this song.
June: What song?
Me: Queen of my heart. Westlife.
Mummy: Westlife always reminds me of Aunty Mary.

Terribly fond memories; of Christmases, swimming sessions and stayovers at Stratford, insects-catching and of many gatherings with the Gohs. I do miss the days of my childhood, when Daddy and Mummy loved each other, when they fought but always made up.

Pain is personal. Pain is always personal. I love you and I feel your pains and difficulties, as if they are mine. I need you and you're the only source of strength I'm remained with. And I can only hope that you love me much and true, enough to feel my pain personal to yours.

Greetings from Gloria Jeans Airport Terminal 2. Just done with a round of Gossip Girl's latest episode, with a good ol' cup of regular sized white chocolate mocha. Jerome's deeply immersed in his HMT essay. He actually looks irresistibly adorable biting his nails and chewing on them. I think my coughing is distracting him a little.

I feel so lucky, just being able to daze at him the way I am at this time of the night. I feel contented, just being able to be beside him. He's wearing a thick frown now and that bothers me a bit. He just swallowed a piece of his nail that he chewed and I caught him doing just that, and I'm happy. I'm in love for real, and being loved for real this time round. Now it's different. No more over-planning and over-hoping; everything seems to be unveiling and materializing as gradually as it is naturally.

Some kind of wonderful.












Because I love you so much, I don't know what to do now. It's hard, being selfless as it is being selfish.

A lovestruck Romeo, sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low with a love song that he made
Finds a streetlight, steps out of the shade
Says something like, "You and me, babe, how about it?"

Juliet says, "Hey, it's Romeo, you nearly gave me a heart attack"
He's underneath the window, she's singing
"Hey, la, my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here, singing up people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?"

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, that you exploded in my heart
And I forget, I forget.. the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

Come up on different streets, they both were streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean, yes and the dream was just the same
And I dream your dream for you and now your dream is real
How can you look at me, as if I was just another one of your deals?

Well, you can fall for chains of silver, you can fall for chains of gold
You can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold
You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin
Now you just say, "Oh, Romeo, yeah, you know
I used to have a scene with him"

Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry
I said, "I love you like the stars above, I love you 'till I die"
And there's a place for us, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?

I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you

And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be
All I do is keep the beat, and the bad company
And all I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme
Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time


The Killers - Romeo & Juliet

Been having a good recovery, albeit swollen-cheeked. It's going to be a good upcoming week, with all tests over and done with for Baby and me, and with SIM RMIT's annual bash happening over the weekend! It will be the virgin 'clubbing' session for Baby and me.

I love you, Jerome Mak.

Wisdom tooth/teeth happens at 9AM. Wish me luck.

I miss you so much, JMWK.

Edit//1212PM
It's out (though bleeding profusely, still)!!! Injured with 3 stitches. It'll all be over soon! The injecting of anaesthetic was the only killer, because I could actually feel the sharp pain swelling up in my gums just to numb them. The dentist is pretty (teeheehee). I felt her dig open the gums for the tooth to make its way out, watched her drill into my gums and watched her vacuum the blood (and saliva) out. The tooth came out, accompanied with a lot of blood. Now, I'm undergoing this temporary speech impediment and a pufferfish of a left cheek. So it's a strict diet of soft foods and it'll be stitches removal next Saturday. I can't exactly feel my left cheek and left portion of my chin so it feels like a piece of meat stuck on my face whenever I touch it. My gauze is soaked with blood.

Baby woke up at 7 plus in the morning just to remind me to have a hearty breakfast before not being able to eat proper food for the next few days. An ultimate sweetheart my boyfriend is, and that makes me a happy girlfriend. (: So yes, Mummy and I had you tiaos and carrot cake with coffee in the morning. Brought us back to the good ol' days. I'm home now and I'm hoping to see the boyfriend soon.

So yay to the end of toothaches! Goodbye forever!

Happy 2nd month and a day baby. You smile and then you make my life complete.


The celebration was held at the buffet at Park Royal Hotel, credits to Jerome! I got him a sweater and a basic tee from Uniqlo! Having buffet with Baby is honestly so much fun! We were playing with our food and beverages and the cameras (compliments of my quad camera!) The sashimi was so fresh and good!












God bless the broken road, that led me straight to you. I love you so much, tiger teddy Mak.

(:

We lose to gain. We gain to lose.

Yup.

More than 10 trips to the toilet today. Wow, am officially soft in the bones from having the runs. Baby brought medicine (and cheese fries from Simpang Bedok for my family) right to my doorstep after his jamming session.

Today has been crazy. I don't like this crazy so much. =(

I casually made a wish to fall sick, and now that I'm actually undergoing a fever and terrible multiple rounds of diarrhea, I think I'll stick to being in the pinkest of health. Consolations about these past few days are that Jerome took meticulous care of me and that the wisdom teeth extraction is materializing this coming Friday. Jerome actually kept himself up the whole night sponging me with iced water. This is definitely the first of anyone doing that, other than my mum, who has retired from doing that since I'm too old for Mummy to be doing that for me.

Off to the bed again. The internet's not doing my fever or stomach much good.

If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you if you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home

Now that commercial law test is over and dealt with, there is no spilt milk to be crying over. Stupid formats really disallows the complementing of the time constraints.

Simple things like having lunches at school with you and you holding my hand during lectures that we crash, really contents me. You read me. I'm contented. I no longer hate being in love; I love being in love and it's because of you, and I'm in love with you. I love you like sparrows love the snow.

Cumulatively, an estimated 7 hours have been (rather confidently) clocked into studying for commercial law test over the past 3 days, which happens today. With fingers crossed, the case studies have been inserted into the memory system. Thank God for sticky post-its.

Jerome spent a night and a day over at my place, providing me with guidelines (and sleeping). Feeling appreciative of his arrival at a late 12ishAM last night after his piano lessons, I decided to whip up an impromptu lunch this afternoon, as promised, to cook for him after not being able to accomplish this for a long time due to many circumstances. So char siew soya tuna green noodles it was! My bad, for adding too much vegetables to the lunch, which he couldn't really bring himself to enjoy. Practically the whole bar of Cadbury Top Deck chocolates were consumed within less than a span of 24 hours, but it was all good. After a really hearty dinner opposite my place at our usual simple food-fare, we continued the short break by heading to 7-11's to intrigue ourselves with more Little Miss and Mr euphoria! My Mr Happy has been nothing but a sweetheart, sparing every possible thought for me at every interval thinkable.

Right now, there are dozens of contract law terms drifting afloat in my paranoia while the curbing of the nerve-wreck isn't exactly working. Tonight doesn't spell a late one for me, comparing it with the nights of the past weeks. I think I'm more tired than I imagine myself to be.

Exams are due in two months' time, so no more complacency for me. It's down to starting mugging from now and it's with utter contentment to its fullest context that Baby's with me this semester. Lunch with Baby before his lectures later, then to the library to revise.

Good morning. I miss you, awesome boyfriend.

I opened my eyes last night and saw you in the low light
Walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the planes that aren't there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old and you were looking so cold
Like an introvert, I drew my over shirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look and see the tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways around create a great sound
To my motion fatigue... farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves in underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time

Can you believe that the crew has gone and wouldn't let me sign on?
All my islands have sunk in the deep, so I can hardly relax or even oversleep
I feel as if I were home some nights when we count all the ship lights
I guess I'll never know why sparrows love the snow
We'll turn off all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow


(Owl City - Saltwater Room)


I wish I could write songs like that. I'd write them for you.

How do you know, if you're deemed as significant, the way you uncontrollably and irreversibly your significant other half?

You make me so happy, yet you're capable of disabling the joy as effectively. And putting rights and well-deserves aside, I'm scared too. I've never been in a relationship like this one before and it's all foreign in the weirdest way. But yes, I'm really scared. Is it okay to be scared?

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it's nothing to me
Baby you're the only light I ever saw
I'll make the most of the sadness
You'll be a bitch because you can
Oh you try to hit me just to hurt me so you leave me feeling dirty
Cause you can't understand

Where do I ever start?

I miss you so much.

All that's left are the Marketing Principles and Commercial Law tests, which is half the bulk of what's remaining.

I've just mopped the entire house and spruced up my study desk. Now, my surroundings are trying to gear me up for the studying portion of the day.

I miss that boy. Shall elaborate more about yesterday when there's time to. Good day, folks!

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

I like the way you like it when I clip your nose when you snore. I like it, how you always get largely amused when ever I wear the "rub me on your butt" t-shirt. I like it when we walked through the rain with drive-through MacDonalds in our hands. I like it when you frown when you sleep because that's exactly what I do when I sleep too. I like it when you hug me from behind and constantly tell me it's "spooning". I like it when you bring me to your favourite eating haunts. I like it when you shake the seaweed shaker fries because you really look so cute doing it. I like it when your mood alleviates for a better turn every time you are done with your bath. I like it when you stick little post-it(s) in my wallet telling me you love me. I like it a lot, how you constantly need me. I like it so much when you "fei ji lai le" me. I like it so terribly much, whenever you ask me "you want to marry me baby?".

I love it, how I see myself being with you ten years down the road and beyond. And I, love you so much Jerome Mak.

Pre-Statistics test and Post-Statistic test at Maska with 11th Hour and June.

Took the liberty of editing some photos, which turned out pretty nice.

Catch 11th Hour at MASKA on every Mondays and Thursdays Nights!!

For more information about the pub, log on to www.thema
ska.com. First set starts at 9 on Mondays and 8.30 on Thursdays!! See you guys there!! =)

(Photograph credits - www.themaska.com.)

Tee hee hee. MacDonalds and study at airport with Jerome Mak W.K today! Something indeed worth being happy about!

Hello Baby Mak reading this. I love you plenty!

Edit//12:14AM
Baby's so sweet! He bought me Four Leaves' chocolate hazelnut cake and MacDonalds lunch, upsized! We studied together and it was good! Things are really looking up and I thank Jerome for always being here. I cannot wait for Thursday because it'll be officially my first time attending his gig! I'm really proud of that boy, in case nobody already knows. The thing different about this boy is that, he was nothing I was looking for yet he's everything that makes me proud that he's mine. This boy, he's so awfully talented and intelligent (totally a bonus that he's so good-looking!). Even his snoring is endearing.

Enough mush.

It's with utter gladness that this day is finally over and done with. Firstly, it was being caged at home and I say this with the full interpretation of the term "literally". Second comes the lack of food resources at home, which nearly killed me. The entire day would have been better if the house was burned down or struck by lightning of something. Well, of course I am exaggerating. With affirmed grounds, I dare say I have the right to deem this day as another of those bad days which people now call the "fml" days. Apart from the whole saga being home-bound and in starvation, my glasses broke. I blanked out the moment it broke because the optician promised me that it was 'unbreakable', which was what bought me over to buy it in the first place. So now, I'm at home and compelled to put on contact lenses.

Looking on the slightly brighter side of things today, I was tuned in to the radio and discovered a song, the type that makes people feel good and tingly, though sometimes the lyrics may suggest otherwise. Plus, my sister blasted the National Day Rally 2009 the moment she came back and for once in my life, I actually absorbed most of what was being said. No offence to National Day and the Prime Minister and the state's affairs, but I'm just plain lazy.

Fireflies - Owl City


Mum just requested to switch on some good music to croon her to sleep and so I picked Warwick Avenue from the playlist. Forgetting to listen to its lyrics, she said "this is a nice love song", as she continued humming to it.

Not a clue what tomorrow has in store for me, but I damn well better get my ass to studying. It's the month of tests. I do hope tomorrow bodes things worth being happy about.



The bigger the laughter, the warmer my heart gets. Who would have ever thought that love would come in the most retarded (and good looking) package of irritance and affections, all in one?