April will knock our doors in haste, and tertiary education will commence for you. So glad for you about the April-application and intake, but other matters are weighing me down. Deep within, you are clear-eyed about the insecurities I'm shielding myself from to brave. Time is uncontrollable when I'm next to you; at times it freezes and sometimes I feel rushing adrenaline that flushes apparent blushes. April, a month of reluctant premonitions and foresight. Different emotions are stirring in me and I fear too much for you to comprehend. There's this one where I'm afraid you'd be accustomed to being without me through the hectic schedules and academic catch-ups; of change. There's another where I'm not anticipating other females displaying and professing attraction towards you. However, I know that this is the time I should halt, from squeezing you too tight. You need to spread your wings and pick your life up independently. My only hope is that you'll still need me now and always, schooling or not, work or without, sorrow or joy. I will be here to provide you with every ounce of my support. I'll never stress you up and pressure you with paranoia, hysterical traumas, unhappy things. I just want you to be happy.

And yes, I will agree to the pact we made at Harry's yesterday; the one whereby we'd leave specific hours of the day just for a little bit of sheer loving. We've come together more than a couple of times, but this has never been the same as any of those. Those, were just thoughtless, senseless, irresponsible scraps of my past. You make up such a big portion of my life's story. 14 months weren't easy to earn. The obstacles were mutiple and multiplied, but my insides still flutter when your texts are sweet and brimming with concern. Such a long way getting from there to here, with chemistry and affinity still bubbling with sparks. I love you so much. You are so dear to me, more precious than any gem will ever be.

Fucking miss you. Going to smother you with kisses tomorrow.