The one You should call was standing here all along

School turned out bad.
Results weren't what I had in mind at all
Utterly disappointed with myself.
Reen Fizah and Maira had a good chat today
Took pics during Chemistry
Smiles were god damned cheesy
Sat at bf's place cause her place was vacant.
Met Dear Jazz and Janice at the airport
Arranged to meet up to study
Turns up in the end
The Both of us spent most of the time reconciling.
10:01pm - Got home
Planning not to attend school tomorrow
She planned so too
Seriously need her to study hard
So that after that we'll spend all the time with each other
Without guilt.
Meeting her today meant everything to me
Left the airport at 9pm
Jazz sent Janice home
While dearest sent me home =))
First time brought me right to the lift lobby
Was afraid to hold on to my hand
In case The Mum saw
( You see, I told her of the consequences of The Mum catching me holding her hand )
I miss her already
Reluctant to let go of her hand
Wish we never had to part
Dearest was talking to me on the phone
Being persistent on going online after resting awhile
When she's awfully tired
She ended up so sleepy to the extent of replying only 'ya..' repeatedly
How cute that dearling is.
Silly you
Don't apologise for not being able to accompany me chat
You're tired so you have to rest
I understand alright dear?
*hugs tight
Love you more than words can ever say
Hopefully I'll get to see you tomorrow again


//Everything's alright now, that's all that matters

Giving up must never even be the last straw

Yes yes yes
Was close to giving up
But fortunately,
I'm lucky
My gf loves me =))
Sleep was haunted by migranes,
And thoughts of losing her again
Didn't go school today
Not looking forward to getting back prelim papers.
Went to some foot reflexology centre for fun
Ended up I couldn't undergo any massages
All thanks to The Time Of The Month.
Thank God
Hate massages
Cramps are murdering me.
Early this morning 1+am
Gf sent me this voicemail
Swear it's so sweet
Causes giggles
Love her so much.
Yesterday was probably the worst in my entire life
Reason being,
I was on the verge of giving her up
Mind kept astraying to the thoughts of being gone for good
Me being benovalent caused more grief
But truth is that
Life will aimless and pointless
If there is no Her.
Heart just gets soft once she comes back into the picture
The mistakes would vanish
And never be resurfaced again
But somehow a part of me is gone
Knowing I cannot be loved whole heartedly
Insecurity builds outrageously within me
The confidence I had diminishes
Will this ever happen again
Could you promise me I'll never come to a day
When you take away all that I have? - You
I'm lost in doubt
The disgustingly familiar feeling I had before I met You
Pessimistic thoughts flood me
All you told me was to never give you up
Cause it is I you have chosen
Don't take back your decision ever
I beg of you..


\\I wish I could carry your smile in my heart, For times when my life seems so low

With all the miles that separate, disappear now that I'm dreaming of Your face

In pain
Cramps has gotten into me
Explains the mood swings I've been getting for the past few days.
Will You Wait For Me plays
Stilll misses that best friend,
So badly.
A few people I wish to see so badly now
That best friend and that gf's two of those few.
Here to rabble on me missing the gf again
Every second apart from her feels a drag
It frightens me to be aware that the ex insists on having her back.
Never ever leave
Cause nothing would be left here for me then

There's nothing else to live for

*I promise You forever

I wasn't mean to love like this, Not without You

Went to baby's workplace today
Then her place
Evening was at TM with mum
Shopping.
-Grin-
Anyways,
Swear Sis' a fucking lousy liar
Had liquor at friend's place
Didn't bother to get rid of evidence
Came back reeking mild traces of liquor
And
Lied to Mum she didn't have any
Later confessed to drinking 'Jolly Shandy'
No idea how Mum fell for that
Obviously it isn't
Sis' in my footsteps in the trait of lying
Now she's rambling on about the day to Mum
Just to switch topics.
Baby will be spending the night at Jazz's
Hunny-Bonding sessions
Pray hard they'll behave
Cause she's mine.
So gonna get Dear a new wallet
Hers is like spoilt.
Missing my sweets so much
So so so so much
She's gonna have her Yr End Examinations next week
While I'll take my 'O' Levels in 5 weeks
Fucking short time.
Mug mug mug, Cheryl

**Nothing would rhyme without You

Never wanna live without The Girl

Attended school with the intentions of getting back papers
In the end only 1/2 a paper was given back - Chemistry
Failed papers 1 and 2 though did the practicals really well
Bf and maomao came to school surprisingly
Reen didn't
She was supposed to bring the Neos along
Nvm
She scanned the photos already
Looks nice
Jeff did this 'Jeff Loves Cheryl' piece of writing
Awfully sweet.
This was a portion of Our conversation on her birthday
The rest and strictly Private and Confidential.

ryl^sad : only She can tame this heart of mine..
IcY^bLuE : ?
IcY^bLuE : tame?
ryl^sad : tAme..
IcY^bLuE : i see
ryl^sad : hahas...
IcY^bLuE : haiz...
ryl^sad : she HAS tamed it
IcY^bLuE : i tame for u lolz

25th September 2003

Went great world with reen beng hiu xiu and bhaf
Had a superific time
Bought this pair of earrings that looked awesome
Later took the shuttle bus down to town
Went to buy contacts
Headed to the Neos later
They looked so nice
Only the machine's timer ran out of time
One picture was not doodled on
Bumped into Kel (the ex) at fareast
Were looking at each other like
'Is it really you?'
But never said hi
Took a cab home
Cab fare - $17
Sheesh




**_You're all I need, I can't be Me without You. I love You.

Brilliant = Me

Feeling accomplished.
Managed to configure and activated The MMS
At last.
Tomorrow going for star shots and movie
People going = Dad Mum Hiu Beng Ele(?) Maomao(?)
Mum's buying lemon chicken rice for dinner
Y U M

Didn't get to see her today
She has english orals
It's confirmed
Her exams commence on our First month anniversary
=(
Won't be celebrating
Nevermind we'll have all the time in the world
Every minute that you're not here with me
I'm missing You.
Anger never lasts
You're always there to soften the hardened feelings
To turn from outrageous jealous to pure trust
Then draw the prettiest smie on me.
Deep in You
There's always the knowing
That I love You.

[23:01] * IcY_bLuE i love u too________^_^
[23:02] ____1314___[j]eff_&_[c]heryl___1314_____

Means the world to me
That love is returned
By her.

-=Ryl Loves Jeff=-

Time check 8:01am
Awaken from slumber
To the reminder that work hasn't ended.
Missing the other half.
Fumbling about in bed,
Mind swirling with thoughts of her.
Wondering when will be the next,
I'll see her.
Would You feel it if I was missing you?
Can't be without you.
Without you,
There'd be no Me.


7:48pm
Gf's ex throws herself at her
Brought herself to Gf's doorstep
'Yes yes I trust You don't worry'
Words do not describe the way my emotions react
The capacity of stress overwhelms
What else can I say
Once again
I miss You
Am I there for You whenever You need me?


\\Just a prisoner of your love, a prisoner willing to be imprisoned for forever

Chem's so screwed.
Most of it that was revised and studied didn't come out.
Wad e hell?
Am home this early to rush thru art.
Let's see.

1. Research work
2. Modification
3. Thumbnails
4. Shading schemes
5. Colour schemes
6. Final draft

20 drawings and 10 colour/shading schemes.
Good lord.
Jeff's at school now while I'm at comfort in front of the blog window.
She's already making plans during my O's.
Never fails to cheer me up and ease the burdens.
Just called starhub to activate the MMS.
Had to pose off as Mrs Lio (mum).
Action Mrs Lio.
The man attending to me kept addressing me as 'Mrs Lio'.
Felt weird.
But hey
It's Mrs Ong =)))
Right baby?
Did a little photo taking set up.
Decorated on this little piece of plain paper.
On it marked 'Cheryl Loves Jeff'.
Used torch lights as spot lights.
Quite brilliant actually.
Cheryl, you are a wonder.
Took pictures of it,
Once the MMS is activated,
Will send it to Jeff's phone.
Will she like it?
Alright gotta rush The Art now.
Missing You so much sweetchumps.
Hope You are missing me too.


9:42pm
It's everytime this time of the night,
That I feel blue.
Insecurities, the waiting, the worrying.
A fool in love,
I could mind less.
But please be careful with this toy.
It feels
Feelings ; Too sudden ones may kill.
Now the insecurity may hold me hostage.
Reach out for me,
Before I tumble over
Into that trap that You set me free from.
Cheryl what the fuck are You rambling about?

\\It takes more than just words

Getting all moody today.
Maybe cause she spent the whole day sleeping,
And I'm here missing her terribly.
Attempt to do serious revision for Chemistry was a flop.
In the mood to swear now.
So fuck it all.
Fuck stress.
Fuck life.

Miss Jeff so so so much.
Love her even more,
As usual =)))


>[20:29] *** c_beryl is now known as LuV^jeFf
[20:29] *** IcY_bLuE is now known as LuV^chEr

Help me.
I'm getting crazier in this.
I love You dear


*//_Losing my senses just missing You


Someone To Hold Me Tonight

I just don't understand
Can't help the way I feel
It's crazy but it's true,
'Cause when you touch my hand
I know this feeling's real
Tell me, are you feeling it too?

I know you're scared to show you care
Just let me show you how
Can't you see what you mean to me?
You're all I need right now

I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody who's holding me tight,

Can't say I know for sure
Can't say we'll never part
Never gonna let you go,
You've heard it all before
But listen to your heart
Give me all you've got, and more

Just hold me now and say you'll stay
Be mine tonight, and then
Say you'll never go away
This night will never end

I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well, alright

I wanna get together with you
Ooh, with every beat of my heart
I'm on fire, what can I do?

I just want someone to hold me tonight, oh-oh, yeah-eah
Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well

I just want someone to hold me tonight.
Oh.. Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well
I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody holding me
Somebody loving me
Woh yeah..
Somebody holding me
Somebody loving me
Woh yeah..
I just want someone to hold me tonight


All My Life

I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you
I will never find another lover more precious than you, more precious than you
Girl You are Close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

All my life I pray for someone like you
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

Said I promised to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love You!!!

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I've ever known, your smile on your face, all I see is a glow,
You turned my life around, You picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down & I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too
All my life I pray for someone like you

Chinese paper 1 sucked.
Slept for an hour outta the two.
Paper 2 was a breeze,
Except for the first section.
Went dear's place again today.
Had a very short nap,
Cause she turned to hugging her pillow instead of me?
A heartbreakerish devil when asleep.
That's You dear.
Dear sent me back to Tampines,
Later she went to Macs but I have no idea where she is now.
She hasn't replied since 8 plus.
Went katong mall to watch sis' trial piano exam.
Got my parents both pissed for turning up 2 hours late.
Lazy to blog further.
Real shagged.
Waiting for her reply.
Miss you already baby.
Only Mine that is.

*//_I'm crazy for this girl

EM paper 2 was alrite =)))
Transformations was a breeze.
Problem sums wasted so much time.
Geog paper 2 was the worst so far.
Had to write so much,
So much till my hand hurts now.
Did this dumb 13 marks question in 15 minutes.
Geog's flunked.
Tomorrow's chinese.
Wish me luck!
Bf was planning to skip the chinese papers.
Don't know why she's like that now.
Tomorrow also meeting Jeff after my papers.
Exciting.
Haven't planned where to go yet,
No idea where.
Just wanna see her.
Jeff's outside destressing,
Playing badminton with her friend.
Hmmm
Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow.
-Chants-
I'm nowhere without you.
Babyyy I misss youuu.
But...
I love you more
=pPpPpppPp


Heaven

First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help
I looked in her eyes now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away
And every hour here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm giving my love for eternity
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees help me

Girl I'd give anything if you were here with me
Give anything you want and anything you need
I never thought that I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my with you
And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I'm down on my knees please, heaven

Woot.
Sis' friends at our place now.
So fussy about e dog.
Anyways,
EM paper 1's down.
Wasn't that tough after all =)))
The practices did pay off after all.
Lit was another thing.
Lit was pure crap.
Did the text based essay qn.
What ever I mugged concerning omens did not come out.
Aight 2 more days to Sat.
And I pray real hard I'll get to see Dear this Sat.
Gonna mug so hard for geog paper 2 and EM paper 2 tomorrow since.
Rem I screwed Mid Years by doing 2 questions?
-Bawl-
I'm stressed.
I need Jeff.
Miss her so so so much.
Jeff's gotta work today from 5pm to 10pm.
Sigh.
Cheryl oh cheryl.
What's gotten into You?
You lovesick loon.

Longer

I see you everyday
I guess we walk the same way
To wherever we're going
Every morning and every night
Do you smile to be polite
No way of knowing
I can't explain it
But I'm not complaining
If I'm happy or sad
If only we had

Just a minute longer. Than this
Just a little closer. Than this
I would get to know you
A little bit better
I could tell you
If only we had
Just a minute longer

A moment had arrived
It was just the right time
For conversation
And he asked me
What do you do?
What is your name?
Where are you from?
But before long
We're at the station

And I was so frustrated
In fact devastated
I feel happy but sad
If only we had

I wonder
I wonder what you think about
Do you think about me
Maybe I'm a dreamer
But I just believe
And I know what I see
Forever wishing
There would be another day
Oh if only we had
I don't care happy or sad

School ended pretty early.
9:30am, early?
Didn't turn up for art as I've promised Miss Low.
Hmmm
Still thinking about yesterday.
Miss Jeff so much.
Her phone's run outta money already.
Can't msg me till she has it topped up.
Gonna go catch a movie with Dear Jazz and Janice on Sat.
Hope she isn't working on this Sat.
-Cross fingers-
Want her hugs now.
So god damn shagged from the late nights and early mornings.
This is gonna prolong for the next 7 weeks.
And after that 7 weeks,
Voila I'm outta secondary school.
Off to work after that.
But for now...
Just wanna concentrate on Dear and my studies.
Top priorities.
Can't wait to see Jeff this Sat.
Off to catch some sleep now.
Tuition's 3 hours tonight.
Love you so much Dear.

Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself// Makes me wanna lose myself in your arm// There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast// Hope this feeling lasts for the rest of my life// *Darling loves Dear*


Here Without You

A hundred days had made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I¡¯m dreaming of your face

I¡¯m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I¡¯m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls, when its all said and done
it get hard but it wont take away my love

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl itS only you and me


Have A Little Faith

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me (x4)

When your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
Come here darlin'
From a whisper start
To have a little faith in me

And when your back's against the wall
Just turn around and you will see
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby
Just have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me (x4)

SS sucked ok?
Didn't even have enough time to think of more things to write for the essay.
Wrote crap throughout.
God bless me =pPpPp
Bio paper was alright.
Think can clinch a pass for it.
Not good enough though.

Someone shoot me.
Dear asked me out today since she was at my area.
So yah I said yes we meet.
Took a hot bathe in this dumb hot day.
Resulted in headache once I stepped outta the bathroom.
Hate last minute plans,
I never ever manage to make for em.
Hullo like what is wrong with you cheryl??
Gf obviously wants to see you??

3:56pm
Jeff msged me to tell me she ain't angry with me.
=)))
I love my Gf.
Jeff's coming over to e bus stop at my place.
Yay.
My inspiration and motivation.
Miss you so much.
Gonna go meet her now.


6:23pm
Jeff came downstairs my block to see me.
Held me in her arms the very moment she saw me.
Jazz and Janice were present too.
Jazz and Janice wanted to take pictures of Jeff and I.
Yah it was tempting.
But Dear doesn't like taking photos.
Gawd.
Swear she's Da best.
I'm already missing her.
Wanna see her everyday.
I'll be able to do that after 'O' levels.
-Beams-


Forever & A Night

I never thought I'd be
Lost inside your eyes
Living out this fantasy
But now, with every breath we take
All I think about
Is the love we're gonna make

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night

Until the morning light
Gonna love you
Forever and a night

In a world that moves so fast
It's so hard to find
Something that you know will last
But
When you touch me there's no doubt
That you and I possess
The one thing that it's all about

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night

But now, with every breath we take
All I think about
Is the love we're gonna make

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night


I love the way you hold me,
Love those kisses.
The way you tell me you love me.
No other feeling can replace those you give.
To tell me I'm it's with you I belong.
*You complete me.

1/2 the class was absent.
Jallz opened her VERY-belated teacher's day presents.
With much surprise,
She couldn't fit into that top.
Math lesson was the slackest ( I fell asleep ).
Did so much art today.
6 mounting boards done.
2 more down and all's done.
Miss Dear so much today.
She's out lunching now.
Smsed Dear during lessons today.
-Lovesick-
Didn't realise SS paper's tomorrow.
Hafta rush now.

Read Nicholas' blog.
Saw this 'evErytime wE got quarrel, shE aLways bring taT cheryl in…..'
God damn Naru alrite?
Why in the world is she dragging me into her r/s problems?
Childish.
-Snubs-

Looked through my fridae account just now.
Dear sent me email.
Outrageously delighted upon reading it.
I love You.
There's no words that can be put in to tell You what You mean to me.


Lost Without You

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind

Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down my face
Oh

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you


I Could Not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more


Your voice melts me, Your gestures intrigue me, Your eyes seduce me, Your smile captures me, But your love completes me..

It's 1 year and 2 months now.
Does anyone remember the date?
Still can't stop missing *10.
The memories of her still lingers safely in my heart.
Once again,
Life is vulnerable.
What's the point of living it on if it's gonna end someday?
Why bother to live it well when heaven's that hard to reach?
Ironic, ambulances speeding its way to hospitals.
Just as I'm thinking of her.
Consoling others,
Yet my heart's not at ease.
Why do I contradict myself so?
Still mad with God occasionally,
For being this unfair to so many of us,
To her,
To me.
What would life be with *10 here still?
Addicted to these selfish thoughts.
God forgive me.
I never fail to make the biggest contradiction outta myself.
When will I ever see her again?
Never?
How is she wherever she is?
No God didn't give me any clues.
He gave me neither answers nor warnings.
He simply took her away.
Now I'm deprived of a darn good friend's love and affection.
I'm desperate and pining for it.
Want her back.
Never thought I'd ever feel stranded.
Don't wish to be lost in fantasy.
Every breathe I take should be taken away.
I'm wasting every bit of it.
Lord give it so some other dying soul who waits for another chance to compensate.
I deserve none of it.
Every good thing given,
Always gets taken away in a blink.
Why am I so pessimistic?
I'm fearful of losing anything good I have now in my life.
Jeff, friends, memories.
So just take it all away.

Missing *10...

Having a cold!!
Sigh lovesick?
I miss Jeff!
Been in contact with her the whole day.
Love you so much...
Trying to study but can't absorb much as usual.

I Live My Life For You

You know you`re everything to me and I could never see
The two of us apart
And you know I give myself to you and no matter what you do
I promise you my heart

I've built my world around you and I want you to know
I need you like I`ve never needed anyone before

I live my life for you
I want to be by your side in everything that you do
And if there's only one thing you can believe is true
I live my life for you

I dedicate my life to you, you know that I would die for you
But our love would last forever
And I will always be with you and there is nothing we can`t do
As long as we`re together

I just can't live without you and I want you to know
I need you like I`ve never needed anyone before

I live my life for you


If It's The End

Our love's the moon
Our love's the kingdom come
Our love's the flame
Our love's his will be done
Our love's a jewel
A diamond in the rough
But you don't want it,you don't want to take

If this is the end,I don't wanna know this time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go this time
If this is the end

Our love is true
Our love's the rising sun
Our love's in bloom
Our love has just begun
Our love is proof
Of what was yet to come
But you don't want it,you don't want to take

If this is the end,I don't wanna know this time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go this time
If this is the end

It was so easy,we were so young
It's only natural to come undone
At the end of this evening,before the rise of the sun
You're coming with me,you're coming with me

If this is the end,I don't wanna know this time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go this time
If this is the end

If this is the end,I don't wanna know
I just to bide my time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go
I just want you by my side
If this is the end

Nique told me about her Zouk endeavours.
Don't be taken in by sweet words.
Sweet words are simply delusions.
Don't let her deceive you,
Don't lead yourself astray from the truth.
Been doing practically nothing today.
Trying to study.
Nothing absorbed.
Been missing her the whole day I swear.
Wonder when I'll get to see dear again.
Dear must take care of yourself when I'm not beside You to do so k.
Never wish for You to undergo that torment You went through yest.
Can't stop missing You dear.
She's having a fine nap now.
Rest well dear.
Love you tons.
I'm missing You badly...

Got this from some email.
Sis helped me with the CNPing.

C You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
H You are not judgemental.
E You are a very exciting person.
R You are a social butterfly.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.

J Jealously
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
F Everyone loves you.


Stand

Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try 2 run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent 2 make u clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go 2 the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

U will love me, I will love u

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand


(^_^)-=Darling[Loves]Dear=-(^_^) *

Went Dear's house again today.
She had severe headache on the right side of her head.
Didn't wanna see the doc so she just laid on me and slept cause she felt uncomfortable lying down.
Dear was looking through my hp today and she saw many msgs which made her a lil uncomfortable inside,
Although she didn't wanna say it.
That girl ransacked my bag.
Left her place in the evening and left for tampines interchange so I could get dinner for my sis and I.
Dear accompanied me to get dinner.
Then she sent me home.
Missing her already although I'm just back.
Hopefully she's already safe and sound at home.
She looks awfully irresistable when she's asleep.
Love my baby,
Miss her so much.
Thankful I have her to with me.
Now that I won't have to feel lonely and empty anymore.
Dear, You complete me.
Filled up the empty spaces in my life.
You bring a smile to my face no matter what reasons there are to frown.
New word I learnt today : Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism - Sa?do?mas?o?chism n. Abbr. S-M, s-m, S & M, s & m Psychology. The perversion of deriving pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, from simultaneous sadism and masochism.
'Thanks' so much Wenting for being as bold as this.


Love, Me

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said "Boy, you might not understand but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none but I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter and this is what it said"

If you get there before I do don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darlin' wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her his eyes filled up with tears

And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me



That's All

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

Geography lessons today were absolutely futile and ineffective.
Only learnt one bit - the longshore drift which I specifically asked Ms Soo to revise on.
Left after the first 'shift' of the lessons.
Lunched at Burger King's at century sq.
Had an hour to slack around before The Pirates of the Caribbean started.
So we went shopping.
Bought a dress (sounds bimbotic but nah it doesn't look a single bit bimbotic)
The dress would be what Stel would wear.
Even my sis agrees.
Pirates of the Caribbean was super duper fantastic.
Was amazing the way Johnny Depp could act so sissily.
Orlando Bloom looked dashing and gooOoooOd.
But Dear looks the best to me.
Gonna dye my hair dark blonde later.
-Smiles-
Miss Her so much.
She's so tired yet she has work today from 5pm to 9pm.
Dear's not feeling well so she got sent home.
But it's raining.
Pray she won't get caught in the rain.
Wish I could share her burdens.
I wanna see her before prelims commence.
My dear = my motivation.
It's Her that gives me the will to want to do well.
Don't wish to make her worry for my studies.
Just want her to love me and be by my side always.
Like how I want to love her and always be there for her.
=)
Promised Dear I'll go her place stay over to accompany her one day after prelims end.
Ok!
Off to get my hair dyed.
Love You so much Dear!!


Cheryl:
You are a quick study, and can be self-taught. Your curiosity can get the best of you, but you must learn to concentrate. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. Your independence and freedom are important to you. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you.

Lio:
You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength.

Shu Yi:
Status is important to you and your ability to achieve success and earn money. You have a need to be noticed and seek status. You need to learn the true value of material possessions. You have a natural protection in life. You are always saved - especially from yourself. You are soft-hearted with a charitable nature. You must learn to give the same freedom to others that they want for themselves. You need to learn to give and receive love.


//Forever is Ours to share// But ever forever seems too short// I will be Yours throughout all eternity// I Love You...

Had 7 hours of literature today.
Not exactly 7 hours.
To be exact about 5 only but had so much fun.
Had a tedious 2 hours plus of Julius Caesar till 12:10pm.
Then Gammar drove Krys Anju and I to parkway while Sher Bhav and Fiz took a bus down.
Had KFC at parkway.
We were late by the time we reached back to school.
Gammar drove us back there again.
By the time we had reached school,
Many of them had already left (and caught leaving!! LOL)
At around 3:35pm Gammar had already ended her Unseens.
So we slacked around in the music room relaxed to the sounds of Michael Buble.
Enchanting voice he's got (as Anju said).
Think the nicest of his tracks that I heard just now was That's Why.
We were all waltzing to 4 songs which the DJ (Anju) helped to repeat.
The song was so romantic I felt lovesick.
Started missing her like crazy and msged Dear.
Missed You so much dear.
Wish we could meet up as soon as possible.
I wanna see You!
Dear today went to make her IC with her parents,
Later she went to arcade to play alone.
Wish I could accompany her.
Dear had some misunderstanding with Jazz in the evening which made her quite sad.
Got me worried lots.
No matter what I'll be here.
Even if the world turns its back on You,
I'll still be here by Your side.
Her nose was bleeding just now so she's resting now and waiting for my call after dinner.
Love You lots dear...

:.:Cheryl:.: So in love with You :.:Jeff:.:

19:03

Just came back from dinner and saw Dear's quit msg.
Sensed that She wasn't feeling happy.
Or rather I'm afraid She's upset.
Dear,
I need You by my side always.
Maybe I've done things to make You feel insecure.
But no,
You're all I need and You have provided me nothing but faith and security.
There isn't a minute that I'm not thinking about You.
I wanna work hard to always be the girl You will wanna be with and always love.
I can't do without You and I want You to know that.
Let me be someone whom You will turn to when joy and sorrows knock at your door.
So glad I have Her to be by my side to love and care for me.
Just when I thought the rejection of my whole world was about to crash on me,
The door was locked,
So You opened the windows.
And I love You for that, Dear.
I treasure You for every inch of who You are.
Don't need anyone else but You.
Don't be afraid to lose me,
Cause I'm never gonna leave Your side.
You're so dear to me that no amount of I Love You's could express how much You mean to me.
I wanna love You and take care of You always,
Want to be the person who will make You happy,
The person You will never stop loving.
Keep in mind that I'm always here.
Kk Dear?
I Love You Dear.

__________________________________________________________________________


Baby gave me goodnight call last night.
Slept soundly throughout all the nights thinking of her.
Miss her badly.
Her hp's run outta cash to msg/call.
Mind has been flooding with nothing but thoughts of Her.
LOL and guess what.
She's Mine.
Miss those hugs and kisses,
Miss her smiles,
Miss every single bit of Her.
Okay!! I need to study.
I can just feel the intensity of stress building in me every day closer to the prelim exams.
Promised Her I'd study hard and do well.
Hopefully I will do well.
*Kisses*
I love You dear.

When noone else will stand by Your side, I will...

Went Her house today.
She was tired so she slept throughout,
And gawlly she looks so cute and lovable I swear I could just eat her up.
-Grins-
Was pacifying her while she slept.
Miss Dear already.
Can't wait to see Her again.
Feeling contented now cause I have Jeff.
Dear, just want You to know that You will always have me.
Think I'll hafta really get down to studying this week.
Before I seriously get my life screwed up.
Got dozens of calls from people I know not at all.
Oh yeah for English prelims I actually risked it and wrote a love story.
Had to make sure it wasn't melodramatic.
Gonna go bonkers cause I'm missing her beyond comprehension...


When I See Your Smile

Sometimes I wonder
How I'd ever make it through
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue
Sometimes it seems like this world's closing in on me
And there's no way of breaking free
Then I see you reach out for me, oh
Sometimes I wanna give up
Wanna give in
Wanna quit the fight

Then one look at you baby
Can make everything alright
Make everything alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world
Oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world that could ever do
What the touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing I ever knew
And when the rain is fallin'
I don't feel it 'coz you're here with me
And one look at you baby
Is all I ever need
It's all that I ever need

When I see you smile
I can face the world
Oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me

Sometimes I wanna give up
Wanna give in
Wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby
Can make everything alright
Make everything alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world
Oh, you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light
Oh I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me

You're all I'll ever need....

Meeting Baby tomorrow.
-Delighted-
Promised her I'll be good and study well.
Been very lyrics-crazy these few days,
(Quite obvious from the blog).
Nothing much to blog now,
Except that I miss her (again!).
She skipped work today.
That gal,
Never fails to brighten my everyday :>
She's gonna get her haircut today.
So tomorrow I'll be seeing her with her new haircut.
Hehe YUM.


Cradle

I will rock you like a baby, I will,
Cradled in my arms,
I will keep you safe from danger,
Shelter you from harm...

There will never be another lover,
Who treats you like I do,
We can drift into forever,
On a love thats made for two...

Dont you ever say this loves not special,
Dont you ever think its not essential...
Baby...

I was only thinkin of you,
Hopin you were thinkin of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Agaisnt the world...
Baby...

I am always dreamin of you,
Hopin you are dreamin of me,
I could never live,
One day without your love...

I will kiss you like an angel, baby,
Cradled in my wings,
I will take you up to heaven,
Show you precious things...

If you promise that you love me,
If you promise that you care,
I will be here for you always,
And forever this I swear...

Dont you ever say this loves not special,
Dont you ever think its not essential...
Baby...

I was only thinkin of you,
Hopin you were thinkin of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Agaisnt the world...
Baby...

I am always dreamin of you,
Hopin you are dreamin of me,
I could never live one day,
Without your love...

Though you say you want a love,
But you dont think you believe it,
Just open up your heart,
And you know you will recieve it...
Oh baby...

Baby...
Dont you ever say this loves not special, oh
Dont you ever think its not essential...
Baby...

I was only thinkin of you,
Hopin you were thinkin of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Agaisnt the world...
Baby...

I was only dreamin of you,
Hopin you were dreamin of me,
I could never live one day,
Without your love...

I was only, I was only, I was only thinkin of you...
I was only, I was only, I was only thinkin of you...
I was only, I was only, I was only thinkin of you...
I was only, i was only, i was only thinkin... Oh baby

Jeff has to work starting from 4pm today,
Continuing in the weekends as well.
Poor baby, has to work even though she had school earlier on today.
She has to juggle with school work and earning money outside in the weekends.
Later she's going mm with Jazz.
Hopefully Jazz won't bully or mistreat her again.
Supposed to meet up today but couldn't go out in the night.
Wanna see her and hug her so badly.
She just recovered from fever and she's back to her busy schedule.
Baby I miss you so much.
Anyways today was fine.
Last day of school for term 3!
-Grins-
Had lotsa slack periods today but spent most of the slack periods trying to finish the Emath June 2003 Paper.
Quite an achievement since I'm hardly so hardworking.
Having tuition sessions for 3 times a week till Emath Prelims papers are over.
-Feeling shagged thinking about it-


I Miss You So Much

I never asked for this feeling,
I never thought I would fall
I never knew how I felt till the day you were gone
I was lost, I never asked for it, roses
I wasn't looking for love
Somehow I let my emotions take hold
And guess what, all at once I'm in love.

Oh I miss you so much, I long for your love
It scares me 'cause my heart gets so weak
That I can't even breathe
How can you take things so easily
Baby, why aren't you missin' me

Why did I act like you mattered,
It was silly of me to believe
That if I just opened my heart
Things would come naturally
Joke's on me, yeah
I did not ask for love letters
so why did you give them to me
How could I let your intentions get over me
So in love, so naive ooh baby

And oh how I hate what you have done
Made me fall so deep in love
God knows you're the only one I want,
that I love, oh baby
Oh I miss you so much, year, I long for your love
I scares me 'cause my heart gets so weak
That I can't even breathe
How can you take things so easily
Baby, why aren't you missin' me
Baby, why aren't you missin' me ooh
Baby, why aren't you missin' me.

In This Life

For all I've been blessed with in this life
There was an emptiness in me
I was imprisoned by the power of gold
With one honest touch you set me free
Let the world stop turning
Let the sun stop burning
Let them tell me love's not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In this life, I was loved by you

For every mountain I have climbed
And ever raging river crossed
You were the treasure that I longed to find
Without you love I would be lost

In this life, I was loved by you

Will be naming a whole string of events that occurred today.
First and fore most, Chem-Bio practicals.
The experiments were a breeze but I had to be extra careful with the observations and conclusions.
Got the jitters only during the bio part when we needed to time 2 minutes for the starch to diffuse into the hydrogen peroxide.
My, now awaiting English paper 1 on Friday.
After practicals Ele and I went to find a place for lunch and we settled down at Bedok interchange's hawker centre.
On the bus to bedok we called Pei to wish her happy birthday we even sang 2 versions of the song.
But she didn't seem to care.
Ele ate fried kway teow while I ate fried oyster without oysters.
Later we headed to search for Changi Chapel Museum but carelessly missed it by 2 stops thanks to yakking too much.
So we alighted where we were at that moment and found ourselves just outside the DRC(drug rehabilitation centre).
We found ourselves picking saga seeds found all over the ground.
Surprised Ele collects them too =)
Collected quite alot of these love seeds.
Later we nervously went to ask the officers at the gate whether the Johore Battery was open for viewing.
Btw one of the officer had a rifle in his hand and he was observing Ele and I pick up those seeds.
On the way to Johore Battery we came across this small hut which looked quite creepy so we decided to check it out.
We took pictures of the rusty fences for my art prepatory work.
When we finally reached Johore Battery we had this long walk across the live sized floor plan.
The grass there made both our legs itch so much.
After that we walked all the way out and found this car plate tagged on a tree.
With my penknife, Ele cut the rope binding the plate to the tree and we kept the car plate.
While we were walking along the pavement, this huge truck drove past us,
Causing all the fallen leaves and dirt on the ground to be swept to our faces,
And mind you Ele was talking at that very moment.
Good thing she stopped talking in time.
We took a picture just outside the Changi Chapel Museum.
Then we headed into the museum.
Freaky shit we saw in there, including pictures.
After viewing the exhibits in the museum,
We went to the chapel outside the museum.
It was a beautiful simple chapel with 4 walls but with the ceiling empty(you could actually see the sky).
Was abit freaky at first cause it was the first time I've ever seen such a chapel.
Later we went to sit and chat at the cafe nearby.
Forgot the name of the cafe though.
It had a pool table and dartboard with promotions for drinks put up on the walls.
Bought a can of coke each and sat down to chat.
The music there was damn good (not R&B but very sentimental ballads).
Ele and I were having helluva good slacking time there till the Chung Cheng Main Lower Secondary students appeared and hogged the place.
Left after a while cause Ele realised she was supposed to go blading with Stel.

Oh well been missing Jeff the whole day.
Supposed to meet her on Friday but in the night.
Trying to persuade Mum into letting me out to meet her.
I miss You.

Everything You are is everything to me...

Feeling so nervous cause tomorrow's the science(chem-bio) preliminary's examinations.
Wish me luck everyone!
I need a pass at least.
Going Changi Prison tomorrow with Ele I hope.
Looking forward to it since I'm hardly bonding with classmates nowadays.
Thanks ah moi =)
Jeff's ill today but she didn't want me worry so she rested at home the whole day.
She's having fever.
Promised her by tomorrow if she doesn't get well I'll bring her to the doc.
Please take care k baby?

Anyways I've once again hurt Hyuk by telling her how I felt.
She reacted pretty badly and broke down.
Told Nique also,
Well well her reaction was pretty calm,
Think I really never ever mattered to her,
But it's okay cause I know all she has in her heart was Joc.
Feeling guilty and upset now.
If You love me let me know,
If You don't then let me go.
Don't make me hold on to something which was and never will ever belong to me,
Something that I will never be able to call my own.
Why is it that You turned Your back from me and went ahead with others?
Can't You see I am human too and that I, too have feelings?
Do You think it doesn't hurt with You keep misleading me one moment and taking every inch of hope away the other moment?
Wish somehow I would be more appreciated,
Rather than turned to only when she has left You.
Really don't wish to see you crestfallen further.

Feel so degraded in school and in life that friends don't seem to matter so much anymore, especially school friends.
One minute they can be all pally with you and next they'll leave.
Who would you consider friends then?
Friends who won't even bother even though you feel so alone?
Would anyone actually understand what it actually feels like?
I've even stopped turning to bf to talk to cause she does nothing but insult 12 and I hate it.
12 does not deserve any of that.
Currently am adapting in my peaceful nutshell for the past month or so.
Been socialising with outside friends more these days cause then I wouldn't hafta put on a facade and lie to the world I'm alright when I'm not.
This particular friend has been giving me very temperate changes in her attitude towards me (not naming).
Whenever I please her, she would be giving me smiles.
Whenever she's moody, she wouldn't turn to me and would gimme the who-needs-you-here? look.
I get hurt if nobody realised.
I'm finding it hard to talk or trust anyone from school anymore.
Even my very own friends have crushes on people I like.
And that friend's still asking about my progress with 12.
I don't know how to answer any questions she asks of me and 12.
Because 12 and I are history.
She wouldnt even care if I was six feets underground right now.
That's how insignificant I am to Her.
She wouldn't even care if she rattled on abt the girl she likes in front of me and shoot off at me because of that girl.
So what makes any of you think that She and I will have any progress?
There's so much I wish to talk to all of my good friends in school about.
But this hypocricy going on around has withdrawn me back.
I'm reluctant.
School life has truly been horrid for me.
But who cares yeah?
Not friends, not Her, not anyone.

You are only one, my everything...

Went beach with Nicholas today.
Didn't turn out well cause she was far too quiet for me to communicate with and so I resulted in talking to Jeff on the phone.
Jeff's voice and personality really made me smile.
Right now she's having an afternoon nap cause she slept pretty late last night cause it was her bdae yesterday.
Supposed to meet Jeff today to go town but my conscience was pricked when Mum reminded me about studying.
Happy birthday to You!! Happy birthday to You!! Happy Birthday to Jeffie!! Happy Birthday to You!!!!
Feels as if I'm drifing from Her ever since we met on Saturday.
It's been almost a month only and I'm feeling worn out from the tears and indirect rejection.
Sigh I somehow wish I'm not being into led into falling in love again.
Maybe it's just infatuation but I still wanna get to know Her more and make her happy by the little things I do for Her.
Will forever really mean forever?
Never wanna see You cry sad tears,
Only happy ones.
Need You by my side for forever.
Say You'll stay for good.
Anyway Mum's cooking curry for dinner tonight.
Yum!!
I miss her like nuts.

hahha.. didi oso will alwayz love jiejie
That was typed by my most beloved didi.
Love you tons didi!
Don't be so upset over her k.
You will always have your friends and me,
Especially your jies and kors who care for you so dearly.

Love's just an open road with different ways of moving on...