It's 1 year and 2 months now.
Does anyone remember the date?
Still can't stop missing *10.
The memories of her still lingers safely in my heart.
Once again,
Life is vulnerable.
What's the point of living it on if it's gonna end someday?
Why bother to live it well when heaven's that hard to reach?
Ironic, ambulances speeding its way to hospitals.
Just as I'm thinking of her.
Consoling others,
Yet my heart's not at ease.
Why do I contradict myself so?
Still mad with God occasionally,
For being this unfair to so many of us,
To her,
To me.
What would life be with *10 here still?
Addicted to these selfish thoughts.
God forgive me.
I never fail to make the biggest contradiction outta myself.
When will I ever see her again?
Never?
How is she wherever she is?
No God didn't give me any clues.
He gave me neither answers nor warnings.
He simply took her away.
Now I'm deprived of a darn good friend's love and affection.
I'm desperate and pining for it.
Want her back.
Never thought I'd ever feel stranded.
Don't wish to be lost in fantasy.
Every breathe I take should be taken away.
I'm wasting every bit of it.
Lord give it so some other dying soul who waits for another chance to compensate.
I deserve none of it.
Every good thing given,
Always gets taken away in a blink.
Why am I so pessimistic?
I'm fearful of losing anything good I have now in my life.
Jeff, friends, memories.
So just take it all away.