Feeling so nervous cause tomorrow's the science(chem-bio) preliminary's examinations.
Wish me luck everyone!
I need a pass at least.
Going Changi Prison tomorrow with Ele I hope.
Looking forward to it since I'm hardly bonding with classmates nowadays.
Thanks ah moi =)
Jeff's ill today but she didn't want me worry so she rested at home the whole day.
She's having fever.
Promised her by tomorrow if she doesn't get well I'll bring her to the doc.
Please take care k baby?
Anyways I've once again hurt Hyuk by telling her how I felt.
She reacted pretty badly and broke down.
Told Nique also,
Well well her reaction was pretty calm,
Think I really never ever mattered to her,
But it's okay cause I know all she has in her heart was Joc.
Feeling guilty and upset now.
If You love me let me know,
If You don't then let me go.
Don't make me hold on to something which was and never will ever belong to me,
Something that I will never be able to call my own.
Why is it that You turned Your back from me and went ahead with others?
Can't You see I am human too and that I, too have feelings?
Do You think it doesn't hurt with You keep misleading me one moment and taking every inch of hope away the other moment?
Wish somehow I would be more appreciated,
Rather than turned to only when she has left You.
Really don't wish to see you crestfallen further.
Feel so degraded in school and in life that friends don't seem to matter so much anymore, especially school friends.
One minute they can be all pally with you and next they'll leave.
Who would you consider friends then?
Friends who won't even bother even though you feel so alone?
Would anyone actually understand what it actually feels like?
I've even stopped turning to bf to talk to cause she does nothing but insult 12 and I hate it.
12 does not deserve any of that.
Currently am adapting in my peaceful nutshell for the past month or so.
Been socialising with outside friends more these days cause then I wouldn't hafta put on a facade and lie to the world I'm alright when I'm not.
This particular friend has been giving me very temperate changes in her attitude towards me (not naming).
Whenever I please her, she would be giving me smiles.
Whenever she's moody, she wouldn't turn to me and would gimme the who-needs-you-here? look.
I get hurt if nobody realised.
I'm finding it hard to talk or trust anyone from school anymore.
Even my very own friends have crushes on people I like.
And that friend's still asking about my progress with 12.
I don't know how to answer any questions she asks of me and 12.
Because 12 and I are history.
She wouldnt even care if I was six feets underground right now.
That's how insignificant I am to Her.
She wouldn't even care if she rattled on abt the girl she likes in front of me and shoot off at me because of that girl.
So what makes any of you think that She and I will have any progress?
There's so much I wish to talk to all of my good friends in school about.
But this hypocricy going on around has withdrawn me back.
I'm reluctant.
School life has truly been horrid for me.
But who cares yeah?
Not friends, not Her, not anyone.