Now at this very moment, my heart is sunken in my stomach. A friend just reminded me to read her blog, and it didn't occur to me before this how much she needed my presence, even spiritual presence, when there was so much trauma at this point of her life. Point is, I wasn't even there when she needed me there. I have constantly complained about friends who have turned their backs against one another or even against me, but I just realised that I am no more superior than manipulaters. This may sound dramatic but, I feel as if I have failed that friend. And I'm sorry. I really am.

This bout is depression is multiplying and spreading within my self like wildfire, and I know not how to stop it. I'm so unhappy with myself and my life and how my life works; I just want it to end so that I wouldn't have to have tears streaming down for no reason at all.

Happiness is shortlived
Lasting only with material costs
Perishes like a cricket crushed to silence