Happy new year 2006 to all those who wished me!

Indeed, tremendously unsightly the context of the boredom-induced the information may seem, people fail to earnestly remember that what goes around does come around. Soulcleavage.blogspot has preached about karma far too many a time, and I gather my vivid readers will comprehend the measurement of that term. Let me show you a trick of two to this: you do not run the extent of creating insults at your nemesis. All you simply need to do is attack the target's weaknesses after detailed observation. If her falling catalyst will be jealousy, make her green to the point that she shatters apart and slices her wrists to a bloody gore. I am not assuming you have abundant time in your hands, and I am not stating so. The public will surely witness the obvious. One, that you yourself have not got wholesome recreation/entertainment. I have repeatedly warned people that defaming a subject of nemesis is just not the way to work out a proper insult. No profanities or vulgarities should be utilised. No name calling should be put into black and white. This way, the other party would have nothing to backfire you with.

Can anyone possibly get denser than this? FOOL.

Defining FOOL:
1. One who is deficient in judgment, sense, or understanding.
2. One who acts unwisely on a given occasion: I was a fool to have quit my job.
3.One who has been tricked or made to appear ridiculous; a dupe: They made a fool of me by pretending I had won.
4. Informal. A person with a talent or enthusiasm for a certain activity: a dancing fool; a fool for skiing.
5. A member of a royal or noble household who provided entertainment, as with jokes or antics; a jester. (Haha, this best describes you)
6. One who subverts convention or orthodoxy or varies from social conformity in order to reveal spiritual or moral truth: a holy fool.
7. A dessert made of stewed or puréed fruit mixed with cream or custard and served cold.
8.Archaic. A mentally deficient person; an idiot. (I changed my mind. I think this definition suits you best.)

The commotion has undoubtedly stirred uptight reactions from the subject of insult. I have inscribed my piece. Take it or leave it. Sue me if you like, fucked face.

So yes, Nique's new blog address is www.tailfeather-.blogspot.com. Please leave any comment(s) if any emotions suffice/stir during any course of this entry.

I clean wiped out the subject selection by sleeping through yesterday morning. I just filled it up and submitted it. Selected internet media authoring 1, audio-post production and web animation 2 respectively. The excitement is building up as I anxiously anticipate the begin of internship. $1000+ in two months also indicates that retail frenzy will be aplenty.

It's the eve of a rejuvenating commencement of 2006. The school is God-forsaken, and yes, I am in school for the psychology project. The girlfriend's picking me up later to meet the father-in-law, then we'll be proceeding to some shopping. This is what life is about - family, love, shopping, money!

Our pioneer official anniversary is approaching very closely (on Monday)! We're still smitten lovebirds.

Happy start of 2006 to everyone!

The trio aimlessly littered the bustling town, trying to fish out for a special form of entertainment for the birthday girl. Lunch was decided at Carls Jr's, when the girlfriend visited for a short while. Wanted very much to visit the girlfriend during work so that I can take a peek at her in her chef uniform, but was unable to due to it not being convenient for the other two.

So much for a week of vacation when the work has been topping up. My biological clock has gone haywire from all the fuss about projects and assignments.

Thought of you a big deal today. I need I want I have to have. I miss you love.

Spoilt brat of H5
Carls Jr


Old school prints


MOS, burger

Girlfriend, the bottom subject belongs entirely to you :D

I was spoilt like milk today. Being such a dear, the girlfriend accompanied me through 5 hours of Flash (Macromedia) website building and gorged heaps of snacks on my workspace. iMacs are prone to electric sparks, which literalliy zaps through the skin. The girlfriend took her girlfriend out for retail therapy and all stress was actually uplifted. The growing addiction for shopping never ceases. The incessant obsession with you is unstoppable.

On the other hand, Happy Birthday Phoebe (Chocoliu)! Many years of cocoa-filled conversations and lifestyle. As you are already aware of the number of members of the clique whom you have sabotaged (on their birthdays), by now you should have already been mentally prepared for the worst type of revenge later on when we celebrate your 19th. Yes, be. But nonetheless, I wish you joy, love and inner peace because with all that, comes everything else. Happy 19th! Psst, you're at your final year of teenhood. With love, Applio.

Let's retrack. 4 hours doodling around in Macromedia Flash, 1 hour wrapping up APEL2 presentation, and 1 hour trying (like a smart-alec) to figure the configuration for the school's wireless. Frankly, I should be on a hiatus, frivously panicking to meet submissions. It's supposed to be a deadline-crunch week. Well, supposed to be.

It is difficult to focus on the tools of Flash with a partner beside you (namely Priscelia) chomping like a child on two enormous packet of fries, whining about the interactive introduction that won't work out, going to and fro to the toilet every thirty minutes, and after seemingly struggling for 5 hours, winds up only finishing a portion of the index. By the way, she scraped off the interactive introduction.

I miss my sweet boo who's out slogging to spoil me rotten. I've got a teensy surprise for my favourite lover. Goodie I'll be getting luxurious allowance from her again this week! I'm pampered and loved and materialistic and I don't really care. Do you?

I'm glad baby cares. I love you baby, YOU HEAR ME? YWABMAA =D You know, I know, that's all that matters.

Changing URL!I was kidding!

Schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnappi. Schni schna schnappi, schnappi schnappi schnap.

This is for you darling. I know it irritates the nerves out of you, but I know you secretly adore me annoying you. You've just resumed work and I'm back to missing you. I can barely bear the impending feeling of anticipation until Thursday.

Words, I offer you according to the levels of my moods and temperaments. Comfort and ease; if only they were as giveable as meer poems and prose. Although lip service may temporarily soothe the injury inflicted, the inner snugness is impossible to stay. There may be abundant declaration of deranged sentiments to flood the entire archives of a record in one year, you and I, we all know that sweet lip devotion will never provide tenderness and warmth. The implementation of thoughtfulness mouths the words you and I need not speak. Being constantly mindful of the actions we carry out, hence the mutual respect being instantaneous. Although words appear cheap, I simply hope that words alone might act as a catalyst to a good working relationship, only because I wouldn't permit myself to the over-consuming emotion of regret (of never trying to the utmost). And if words do work my purposeful functions, nothing will get better than this. With all these, I just want to let you know, that I love you so much.

The proud peacock on the right Kiss me where your mouth is closest to
Me - her personal photographer

Your love is amazing
Inseparable

Christmas Mass & preparations!

Before and after

Gift-exchange
Baby's present & her

Let the picture speak

Merry Christmas 2005 to everyone!

To darling (laogong, honeybun, sweetkins, loverboy, hubbylove, sugardidi, etc), Daddy, Mummy, June, Xue, Phoebe, Dana, Ingrid, Priscelia, Siyuan, Shaun, Andrea, Alicia, Kwang Wei, Katherine, Lavina, Jo, Justin Lim, Justin, Shannon, Andre and CampDesign 2004 Akers!

This Christmas, I received a pair of Levis jeans (!!!) from darling, an imitation of LV's monogram wallet, Bourjours metallic brown eyeshadow, two U2 basic tank tops, Vitamin E moisturizing cream, a simple tank top with flowery-printed borders, a notebook, Kinder Surprise, a printed tee (with designs of a stalk of black rose), a vintage rainbow skirt, Maybelline lip gloss, coin bracelet, Ferrero Rocher chocolates, make-up kit (lip gloss, cheek blusher, eyeshadow in shades of pink and purple), pimple treatment stick and Sudoku book.

Darling, hope you loved the punk pants I gave you for Christmas this year! I adore the gift you presented me with this year. It does not matter what you buy me and spoil me with, because at the finale of this special festive day, you're still my best and favourite present (just like last year). This Christmas is the best, ever. Because despite what we have gone through, sunshine and rain, you're still here to celebrate and spend this Christmas with me. I love you so much. Merry Christmas baby!

This magical odyssey takes us on rides to low plains to rising heavens. The carousel of unexplainable challenge and full-fetched determination, to persist in tolerating the impossibilities we carved out of consolidated stones. The encumbrance of difficult fights within strength's ring examines our patience, taking us further distances if we'd not refuse acknowledgement of our wrongdoings. The pages of sepia inscribes many tales of valour, victory and defeat. Wilfulness disperses and we sore over a cradle of comforting tears. Our path is now laced with dangerous protruding rocks, disastrous obstacles, serpent-headed crushers and impossibility. But I'm willing to strike this on, as a one last chance to prove our needing for one another. I love you Nique.

Unbelievable, this self-designed world.

All I ever wanted was for her to be happy and live things right.

Lord, take this pain away.

-Entry deleted-

May felicity be long-lasting. May you always dwell in the secured shelters of human nature. I love you.

Songs reciprocate and reveal closeted emotions. Humming to them reminds her heinously of her exceptional street performer. Bittersweet history seeps in and floods her onyx-pearled eyes. An exclusive piecing of a puzzle, gone astray in directions.

I still love you. Dreading this Christmas so much because it was Christmas last year that pioneered our very own chronicles. I've been the best I could for you. And now, I have ripped apart the mask I've been trying to wear just for you to sense happiness - I am one who's void of you. It is this that has vividly marked to me that you aren't in love with me, just the person you've wished me to become. The perfect girlfriend. Seldom do I relent, seldom do I beg upteen times for understanding and instinctive nature, seldom do I settle down to resolve issues we both know are near impossible to mending; but these, I did for you. You called, weeping. Within my self, I crumbled just listening to you cry. The sturdy determination to ignore you melted ice away, just to create spaces for you to weave to me. Without a damn doubt, my love for you is still lurking inside me, wandering and waiting for your comeback.


King Of My Heart

Thank you, to friends who stood by my side calming my paranoia and weeping self.

A heart, lingering for the impeccable guest. A photograph of beaded nostalgia carries a lifetime. A soul, still affectionate towards the only unchanged one. You. And to state, alas I am lost. To absorb frankness will expel existing soures of felicity. The wavering faith persists, but fervent longing for your comeback thrives, in prayerful hope of your love's return.

How was I to predict, that you'd forsake me and left me to fend to expunging our prolonged issues, right before Christmas? All I needed this Christmas, was you.

Didn't come here for cryin', didn't come here to break down
It's just a dream of mine is comin' to an end
How can I blame you when I built my world around
The hope that one day we'd be so much more than friends
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreamin'
I need you know, it's more than I can take
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
And how am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreamin'
Now that your dream has come true
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you
Now that I've been loving you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
And how am I supposed to carry on
All that I've been livin' for is gone
Without you, after I've been lovin' you so long
How am I supposed to live without you
And how am I supposed to carry on
When all that I've been livin' for is gone

Deviantart favourites.

Copyrighted source: Deviantart

Gaity radiates an aura this Christmas; a warm sensation overrides the hollow echo within everyone. Strolling the littered rose-red and pine green neon-lit, merry folksmen carol to harmonious festive tunes. People hand in hand, with inked manuscript sheets printed with jingles; vocals of companionship and satiety swivels wholesomely around a lush dewy tree. Music surrounds a horde of hundreds by the fireplace of warmth, with spiritual accompaniment and gleeful indulgence. The winter orchard is overtaken by apt contentment as a blanket of snow sifts the grounds with pure whiteness. With cherished life's sailors, angels in rightful protective arms of the Lord, and family gems, there is nothing else a survivor in today's cosmopolitan city requests to be granted this Christmas. A prompt befalls, that Christmas this year is going to unravel its genuine purpose and meaning. They themselves are gifts presented as tokens of remembrance - heaven on earth. This much, I am held grateful.

Everyone is someone else's guardian angel. It might be you, dear friend.

So why am I trying so hard for? This is just absurd.

The lazy side of me is not budging, although I really need to be getting my ass down to school to hand in an assignment. Stormy morning. Need to ramble and whine to NCPS. First I compelled my sorry fatigued self out of bed just to complete and mark the standards for the assignment. Second, my printer got depleted of black ink. So I went to Challenger to have the ink replenished. Next, the moment I was at the house's doorstep, the key needed lubrication and got me stuck outside the house. Attempted with my might for 10 minutes, I finally got the key to weave into the keylock.

And guess what, I'm relaxed with 2 hours to idle. NCPS finally found the title of the song I was frantically searching all over for - Gasolina by Daddy Yankee.

Still diligence-lethargic to carry my weight out of the house to bus to school.

Right, so it's dawning soon at 2:32am (mind you, since 9:15pm). The MMSW1 assignment is reaching completion and I am relieved because I will have to deal with another assignment due next week. My eyelids are squeezing teardrops out just to clarify vision. The work mountain is stacking up, and I have less than a semester to fulfill my best works to be showcased for portfolio.

Tanning today was unsuccessful because the sun got into hiding. Anyway, we'll be going for a sun-bath later this week again. Baby wanted to purchase a gift for me today - iPod Nano, but I figured that little contraption wasn't worth the moolah. So I considered Zen Neon, which designs and interface flawed big time. Baby's scrimping and filling up her pocket to get me a 20GB U2 iPod! Today she travelled miles for me, went the extra length just to see my face lit with a smile. Saccharine spells it all in her latest blog entry, too bad nobody gets to see the declaration since her blog is under a lock of password.

I have much to blog, but all's random.

This myriad of perplexed emotions is wrecking my sanity. All I wish, is for us to be happy and in love, smitten like before. My fingers tremble and shuddered ice at the picture of me aging towards the future without you by my side. My pledge I want to keep. For all the mean things I said, let my tongue be poisoned with venom. For all the pain you're undergoing because of me, let me be stripped off and handicapped of my mean human nature. Let me. I love you Nique Chua.

I miss lying on your strong sturdy shoulders, resting my day's toll upon them, with your hands caressing mine, keeping me positive that my choice of eternity wasn't made astray. I miss that confidante you used to be, who used to bawl along with me because you felt inflicted whenever I was. I miss chemistry and telepathy we used to beat against the pounding of our hearts. I miss you when you felt unbearable without me, texting me every minute you could, striving attempts just to take a hearing of my voice. I miss sitting at the void deck of the block opposite my house, reminiscing in the company of love and breeze. I miss you compelling yourself with alcohol, forcing yourself to a drunkard state so that I can experience witnessing you not being sober. I miss taking good care of you when you were knocked out from liquor. I miss being at the airport with you, snuggling in your arms, finding a secluded awkward spot to catch forty winks. I miss typing 'heh' whenever I text you. I miss struting you off to people whom I think would envy us and our love. I miss you, whose love was impossible to falter and unwavering, who provided ample possible promises and pledges we both would fulfill. I miss the silly blunder you made by keying in the wrong time to ask me to be yours, at the airport at 11. I miss the time when you drew an 'I Luv U' in the sand and fled like a child. I miss the songs we used to share along memory lane, the tracks we instill in the oceans of remembrance. Music never sensed so bitter, love never diffused so thin and icy, promises never broken and torn to this extent. This instant moment, I miss you the most.

Nique, how am I supposed to go on living without you? I know not how.

And I said
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to

Heading down to Raffles Place to engrave the Letter Of Acceptance with employer's (Anita's) signature. Attend Psychology tutorial and lecture. Go for the promised Advent Mass with mum. Complete interstitial and news report for SCFUN.

Screening the ocean skies for puffs of clouds that resemble images we remember, seated on the lush greenery of nature raking up nostalgia, there is plenty to chatter about. As you lay childlikely on my lap and begin to wander into peaceful slumber, I watch you fall into tranquil unconsciousness. I stroke your hair and pecked your forehead; I begin to reminisce moments you never witnessed me experience. The deep bark of your eyes tell me tales webbed from years of your life; my tiny hands intercepting your fingers in a smooth trail assure me that you were meant for me. The melody that lingers behind us croons continuously as the beats get stronger. Classical turned climatic. A chance we both shared, an opportunity we now grasp tight to cherish. Emotions bloom, and we're right here, counting till our very first anniversary. Affinity never as ascertained, until now.

Today - an nearing trudge towards the fulfillment of a ragged doll's wish. Beautitude surrounds with auras of chorusing angels, hailing to a good comeback of humanity's authentic riches.

Toa Payoh punk hair salon, M card 9000 sms, Thai Express, Toa Payoh interchange, ribboned vintage bracelet, Topshop halter, plaits and unkempt maintenance. Felicity is awaiting willingly-made choices, just near the corner turn. A stalk of cream rose in my hands, anticipating the receiving of your hands toward mine. I love you.

What's Christmas when its essence of existence is void of? What is love when it is designed by materialistics wants and not the company of sincere cherishes ones? What is effort when there isn't a receiver at the end of the line to tie the knot after being provided for? What is appreciation when lovers turn to slandering and senseless disputes? Is humanism solely answerable for insolence in our meer nature? Does sin follow up with emotions that drag chains to batter someone inside out? Is anything even justifiable?

Is love still keeping us alive?

A few random pin-ups for now. Make do, since fatigue is thrashing my stamina. Firstly, PComD's interview with Felix is wound up with a pass although he did comment that I was a little wrecked by my nerves and it happened to be apparent. I had to painstakingly accept the role as standard-setter as I pioneered the interviewing sessions. Well, kudos to my peers.

I never expected MMScript to be inflated with work to this extent. There's a new submission every week (except this) and this arduous process goes on until week 15.

Currently, Mummy's flushing all my brainstorming down the pits with her unconventional ideas which may actually spark off inspiration for new web designs. Amazing, what the people in other fields of occupation can churn out that you can never figure.

Luscious; Baby took the honours of sending me home from school; she provided me a $50 'pocket allowance' this week (mind you, I get $50 from Baby every week during her course of working life :D) and even bought Body Shop eye shadow colour for me (Brown glitter/metallics $28.90, 4 cubes). I'm going to doll up gorgeously from today onwards. Nique and I bought Mamee (10 pack in 1) and Meiji chocolate/strawberry biscuit dip and fox fruit assorted crystal candies and stationery. All sponsored by baby. We are going to go get M card, so that we can lovingly text our lives away. So much more we're going get down to doing and have accomplished together!

Last night - a terribly rough ordeal for Baby and I to deal with. I am sorry I harboured thoughts of leaving you and having us separated just to resolve issues. I love you baby, have been loving you for so long. We're nearing our first official anniversary and I am ecstaticly thrilled. You owe me nano!

I should be so lucky, lucky lucky lucky!

Remarkable northen star, shimmering incandescently among the other glittery meteors, afloat in the rich and vast nothingness above. An outstanding diamond that contrasts from its peers, the dim in it its own kaleidoscope shuns away light. The peeking momentum, all in its crystal reflections, plunges to an empty field of sand without sky.

Like shattered glass with smeared tears, decending to the ground with haste. A quickened pace will soon transcend to memory's erase. A ferris wheel journeyed a smooth and sailing trip, a carousel jagged chosen paths.

The stars that shine, do they shine for us?

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for the words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cause baby I can't sleep

I have.

Pay day! Retail therapy is key. Scrimping and saving has been such a chore, which is the cause to my explosive expenditure these 3 days.

(:

Must have next time I settle my hands on some buckeroos:

Anna Sui Eye Colour Combo

The Body Shop Metallic Bronze/Gold Eye Colour

Thai Express

Checkered blazer from Bugis Street

More clothes

Alternatively, I could bank in all the cash

Stuff I bought this week:

Brown Corduroy Blazer

Maybelline 3D Glitter Shine Lipstick, Orchid Glitter

Vintage stringy bead-studded belt

Phoebe's birthday present

A spaghetti-strap black Theme top

Oliver Twist DVD

While fantasizing on my next retail therapy session, I still have got projects lined up and awaiting my fervent attention.

SCFUN interstatial script draft

PComD presentation, mock formal presentation, design philosophy and reflection

MMSW Assignment 02, website critique and target audience profile

The Body Shop Eye Face Pearls Eye Colour

The Body Shop Eye Shimmer Cubes

The Body Shop Lip Palette 02 Pink


I want I want I want! Wants! Afterall, Christmas 2005 is inching closer by the day...

Venomous fraying tongues clash an irony with slurred moments, dragged by epitome of time. The pointing streaks of a clock wind reminisce and ambiguous phases to arrive. Falling to gravity, sinking into feelings that mix a whirlpool. Many heads held heavy, hanging low at defiance to emotion's nature. Traces of marked footsteps vanish as the passing wind disperses into a thin line of uncertainty. Friendships are discerned as hoarse judgement when meer truth is void. The answer, to silence. Do we question its existence?

Youth stole innocence at infancy. Still, time clocks by with no patience to tomorrows' outcomes. Belief is vital, yet constantly absent. A frequency people share takes them to different heights of faith, discerned by various attitudes and personalities. Romance, friendship or both? Resisting affinity becomes a cruel infliction onto a conscious soul being.

So friendship has grown its importance on me, and I can't rid it off.

Passion's invitation took me on a ride, and from there, in circles. The distances travelled are beyond boundaries designed. Having toured trips of eccentric temperaments and undeniable chemistry, the levels of this carousel have gotten me honeyed onto my reliance on you. An 11-month journey journeyed hand-in-hand with you has made me realise love's cause and reason. Young and smitten, we are. This has taken us through extreme ends of emotions and sensations, yet the veined vines of sturdiness has supported us tall, together as one. Nothing compares, in which ever manner, physically and emotionally, to what we built and developed together all 11 months.

Such strength and such fragility never collided and survived chaotic ordeals, but we made it through. Faith, believe. I do. Roll through life's steps with me, climb them earnestly, pave longer paths; let's work on forever together.

Nique, I love you.