The breaking, then the begging you to stay. I try my best to bottle up everything inside; I don't wish to increase the stress and burden you're undergoing. God, it hurts, you have no idea how much it hurts, at the slightest mention or remark of her. Blackroses and 17s. They cause the getting over to be this difficult. I saw you tear at those entries she put up, I felt your heart sink; and the unceasing jealousy returns like a gust of wind suffocating my face. The more staunch you are in breaking my heart, the more I'll be loving you. It seems you're tired of being in a relationship, but you take every chance to reminisce of her. I wonder if I will ever heave such a great impact on you. I wonder if you'll cry because you let me go, because you'd wish for me to beg you back. I really couldn't care less if I was the one pleading with you for you to come back to me. Ran through the other 17's blog, and my heart tore apart, literally. Inside it mentioned all the sweetest things you did for her, when you gave two hoots about our very own first month anniversary. I'm wondering; I'm wondering if you'll ever take the effort to go this far just to make me feel better from all this disarray. Wouldn't you love me a little more to not bear to break this poor little heart of mine? Wouldn't you come comfort me? Wouldn't you take away this bitterness I'm suffering? I'm crying inside more than it seems on the outlook, I'm greviously weeping deep within, wouldn't you see through this facade I'm veiling? I'm this dependant on your love, and I wish you understood, if only you had understood my intentions underneath this constant pressure, that I'm this smitten with you. Since the day we've been together, I've been picturing the most beautiful painting of us being together forever, but again, it's just a painting. A little bit of water(the roughs) would waver this love. You could just rip it apart, you could. My love's up, up for you. If only you grasped the depth of whatever I've said to you. In a fit of anger, you deleted all the most precious messages kept in my phone - your messages. I look at them before I sleep, literally browse through every one of them, and I read them every morning, when I awake to the morning sun. Please understand baby, that I am now, nothing without you.