Yesterday and Today's Updates
Met up with Jyren first, cause Pat was late (as usual). We headed for Harbourfront centre for brunch at Yoshinoya's. After that we went down Guardian's to buy tanning lotion, then to Sentosa's! Jyren and I agree that Siloso beach sucks, so both of us decided that we'd go to Palawan. The sun came on and off. Pat was unable to get up on the platform, Jyren and I had to pull her up with all our might. Pat got sea-sick so she requested getting off the platform. She looked so kukufied. During fag-break, Jyren gave me this bottle filled with hand-made hearts, with a bear-tag. It's so god-damn sweet!Jyren was forced to be buried in the sand. We tanned for about 4 hours then we headed for the showers. Jyren forgot to bring extra binders, so I had to 'hair-dry' it for her. We took quite a few photos with our phone cameras. The pictures turned out nice. Plans were jumbled up, but she decided that we'd go to compass point to meet the others. Took bus 80 from harbourfront interchange all the way to sengkang. Mer, Boey, Xinyan and Denise were already there. Sam joined us later on. It was Xinyan and Sam's first month together. (*Happy first month anniversary!) They're cute together. Later when everyone dispersed, there was this commotion regarding the stayover between Jyren and I. She got so pissed off that she broke her glasses, right in front of me. I was dumbfounded. I hope to go get her a pair of glasses soon. Feeling guilty about it. Anyway we finalised our decisions eventually. We took 80 down to boat quay, bought a few drinks, and strolled to the esplanade. Spent our night at the esplanade. Fagged, drank and chatted till morning. Really chatted like nobody's business. At least it's another step to understanding those two more? Dumb security guards were patrolling the entire night throughout; turn-off. Pat always get hungry in the wee hours of the morning. I need an explanation for this weird habit. Reached home around 8am. The bus was so packed I had to jam my way out of the damn bus. I hate these kind of crowds, whereby you have to squeeze like fuck just to get the hell out of that place. You feel like sardine. Slept for 4 hours, couldn't sleep any further than that. Was worried about her whereabouts, so I woke up and gave her a ring at the cellphone. Now I'm hungry. There's Chap Chai in the kitchen, a whole pot full. But don't know if it's still edible. I love eating that.

Memories of you just ran through my mind. It seems that I haven't been able to get you off my mind successfully. Everything I do is to preoccupy myself so that I won't get to think of you. But once everything settles down, you're once again in my thoughts. How did we end up like this? Why did you have to go? Why do I have to compel myself to put you out of my life? Practically everything that I do will be able to relate to you. If I had my way, you'd be with me right now. But nothing permits that anymore. I've been torn since you went away. I don't want dwell in this facade any longer, it's wearing my emotions out, but I can't stop it either. This bout of doubt hurts. It's about time you got out of my mind, because I don't think I'll ever be on your mind as often as you're on mine. Ours was a love that went so wrong. You'll always be someone endeared to me, be it a lover or a friend. I can cope with that.

To my stupid : For everything that's true, it comes along with a You. You're beginning to show me what love is about. It is not selfish, nor self-indulgence. Even if everything else unbearably pains you, you'd still be happy for the sake of the other's happiness. You've been so patient with me, with my silly tantrums, my sudden moodswings. Give me time, I may change, I may heal. You being here means so much to me. Noone else has been this tolerant and supportive towards me. I love the way you hug, just to calm me.