It's all about manipulating one another until you're done making full utilisation out of who you have already used. And I'm no exception; I'm one of those suckers. Sometimes I wonder if the friends I mingle and intereact with everyday are fair-weathered ones, or am I the fair-weathered friends myself. Sometimes I don't know who to turn to for company or advice. So many lies and so much pain resulted. I have kept my peace and remained silent for the fear of offending people who I claim to be able to count on for anything that crops up, be it good or bad. But in times like this, I find myself deluding further from the relationships and shying away from the people I thought were close to me. I don't know if I'm making a mountain out of molehill, but I don't like the way this whole friendship system works; it's based on only 2 to 3 members' opinions on matters. The others are cast aside. I don't know if I'm being too sensitive, but I did try my best to maintain the peace but shutting out from certain issues. All in vain perhaps. Perhaps I'm being pessimistic, but still, I don't fancy the manner we work things out. I'm finding it hard to love friends more than I already do, because it always ends up the same way, that we drift no matter how hard we try to keep things going. That is reality to friendship. For years, I've put my all into everything I've given to friends, really. I haven't given this much to my gf. But they outlooked all that invisible. After all that's been said, know what? I'm hurt, by the way my feelings are being dismissed.

I don't know what I should say further.