Hyuk's Place...

Daryl here : o.o . . . . .. i got nth to say?? lolx.. err. eh.... err.. *runs to play wif my gou gou* *poofs* bu jian le..
Pat here: ^_^.. haha.. anyway me oso nth to sae too.. but hor.. veri fun too...
laff wit them.. n tok cock too...lol....
Nique here : uhhhh.... i oso got nth to sae.. darling.. i Love You..
Cheryl here. Since they got nthg to say.... -gone- Love u always~

Merry Christmas 2003!!!

Went over to dearest's place

Picked a set of clothes for her that matched mine

Went town to get a few more presents

Leon, Pat, Hyuk, Jason came over for stayover

6 people packed like sardines at the backseat

Hyuk sat on me while Jason sat on Pat and Sister

Pat adores baby

Hyuk got so excited that she got the lift jammed

Bungs scream like sissies (They're afraid of lift jams)

Supper started when Dad cooked noodles for the gang

Jason ate the most I'm positive

She snacked on practically everything till around 5 plus in the morning

Watched scary movie 3

It's hilarious

To All : Wishing you all the merriest and happiest Christmas.

Thank you all for being here in my life or even once being here

Each and every one of your presence left a special footmark in me

May God always grant all of you happiness and love

To The Dearest : Thank You for always being here

Regardless of how unreasonable I may be

You're here

I thank God we're together

May You have the happiest love-filled Christmas

There You Were

I was counting down the minutes
I was wishin' on the stars
I was prayin' for a sign
And tryin' to beat the odds
I was dreamin' of you
From before I saw your face
And there you were
Waitin' for that day
Then you reached through the hurricane
When you baby you called my name

You broke through the storm
And you turned back the night
Baby you are the fire
Burnin' the midnight sky
And your love
Keeps taking me higher
Just when all hope was gone
Where the hero belongs...
There you were

Must have broken into heaven
Just to roll back the clouds
Were you on a mission
Were you seekin' me out
Was I that one in a million
Was I that one sacred kiss
That you couldn't chance
You just couldn't miss
Then you babe you whispered through the silent tears
When you, you swept away all my fears

You broke through the storm
And you turned back the night
Baby you are the fire
Burnin' the midnight sky
And your love
Keeps taking me higher
Just when all hope was gone
Where the hero belongs
There you were babe

Standin' in the middle of nowhere,
With your arms wide open and you,
You were the reason when there was no reason in my life
You're the reason in my life

You broke through the storm
And you turned back the night
Baby you are the fire
Burnin' the midnight sky
And your love
Keeps taking me higher
Just when all hope was gone
There you were babe

You broke through the storm
And you turned back the night
Baby you are the fire
Burnin' the midnight sky
And your love
Keeps taking me higher
Just when all hope was gone
Where the hero belongs...
There you were

Like the light in the eye of the storm
Tellin' me not to cry anymore
There you were
Where I watched my whole world fall apart
Shinin' through like on angel from afar
Oh like an angel

You broke through the storm
And you turned back the night
Baby you are the fire
Burnin' the midnight sky
And your love
Keeps taking me higher
Just when all hope was gone
There you were babe

Saw You From Afar But Couldn't Resist Not Looking

How exciting

A day more to Christmas Eve

More than anxious to hand out all the presents I personally hand-made

Hoping She will like it

Going to Her place tomorrow morning to pick clothes for Her

After that heading to town to get some more presents

Attending Midnight Mass

And visiting The Best Friend after that

Christmas Christmas Christmas...

Without #10 :(

Life Without You Isn't Life At All

What if,

I loved You?

What if,

I'm scared?

Fullerton Hotel Stay

Fullerton Hotel Stay


This is an update for 2 days ago

Joe's prom's from 7 pm till 12 midnight

The rest named her Cinderella (I don't know why)

As expected Leon wasn't punctual

Like she was in her last 3 appointments with me

At the end of the day there were 2 actives 2 butches and 2 passives

Leon, Boon, Joe, Hyuk, Pat and I

The VCD player couldn't work when plugged with the TV

So there wasn't any entertaining music nor shows

We were self-provided

Gf looks so cool in her prom outfit

Took many snapshots of her in it

While she was at her prom we slacked for a bit then went to esplanade

We were bawling our lungs with songs there (Boon sings high)

Gf then went to Lau Pa Sa to dine with her friends

5 of baby's friends came to the hotel room after their supper

But none stayed over

Pat had severe gastric pains

So the 3 heroes sprinted to the nearest food-selling outlet,

While I attended to Pat (Dear helped me too)

Leon Boon and Hyuk had their share of fun in the toilet with their hee-haas

I was distracted by them the whole night

Fortunately baby was there to provide all the hugs and kisses

C O M F O R T A B L E man

Then morning arrived

When the problem of who will accompany Pat for breakfast arose

Man bungs can be sissys

They took a darn long time to decide

Conclusion was that Joe was to accompany Pat

I tagged along with the both of them

Baby sent me home at the end of the whole thing


// A whole new family =))))

One Year Five Months...

Time has flown past

As if you were here next to me just yesternight

A year five months back

I should have been the one boothed under God's furiousity

Not you.

The picture lays there cold and lifeless

Your urn sends me zillions of flashbacks

I don't miss you any less.

You being far away lured me closer to you in spirit

May the Lord always be by your side

And may God's angels forever be guarding my angel

For all I wish for

I wish that eternal peace be granted to you

Friends till the end of time we'll be...

I Love You Twice As Much Tomorrow

Extremely fortunate to get to know this person by the name of Boon

Thoughtful girl I'd assume

Met up with Boon, Hyuk, Joe, Pat, Blue and Leon

Joe was super duper entertaining

Hilarious company I had today

Joe asked me to be her girl

[23:21] cheryl
[23:21] ...
[23:21] be my gf

Reality hit me that I've been too dependant on my intuitions

Realised She will never return

But I love You more than I can say,

Don't make me feel down again I beg You

It's a horrendous uncomfy feeling that just makes you cry

Cheryl learn to be independant

>>Dearest Lord,

At the end of everyday

Make me learn from my mistakes

And never to repeat them

Let your grace lead me to a higher place

May your love teach me to love

Teach me to be a better person

Amen.

Nobody Knows It But Me

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
But these four walls close in more everyday
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
And I'm crying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say the things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is a-tumblin' down
I can say it clearly but you're no where around

The nights are so lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get you could ask my heart
Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words just couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still

The nights are so lonely the days are so sad
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had
And I'm missing you
And nobody knows it but me

The nights are so lonely
The days are so sad
I just keep thinking
About the love that we had
Nobody knows it but me

Hectic Hectic Hectic

Work starts tomorrow

Nervous, excited and reluctant

Won't be blogging as often as present anymore

Do miss me and wish me luck!

Going for Noven's Birthday Bbq in awhile

Last night was at Raffle's place

Then Bedok then Simei

Am satisfied with my stand now

And lastly,

I miss the Lamers and the 4/1ers

C O N T R A D I C T I O N

It seems Your presence is always temporary

Yet it already means everything to me

My entire soul's into You

Even if reality hits upon my senses,

I'd still love You and You only

I'd want You more

Could I Ever Stand Strong Without You?

4/1 arrived in style for the one and only Graduation Tea of their secondary school life

Victoria and gang - their hair were like WHOA

Shan't elaborate :s

Pictures showed slides of 4/1's last day of school

A little reluctant to let go of secondary school life already

Jule's leaving on Tuesday for good

Hopefully will get to see her next March when we collect our results

Went ahead with the hotel stay as planned

Many people went but only 4 ended up present the next morning

Stef bought a pink rose for me

Sweet, but not intrigued though

Took the cab down to clarke quay

Only to realise it was too late to enter SOS without paying extrance fee

So took a stroll down to boat quay

Stoned at Coffee Bean's for awhile

Then I went to monks to meet Her and J

Bumped into "Gf" Joe and Ben there

Saw Mogu

Wish she wouldn't leave me the way she did

Then early in the morning the next day,

Some asshole misplaced the hotel key

Thus, Dad's got to pay for it

Parents had some misunderstanding so they ended up quarrelling


>> You're The Reason To My Existence <<

Addicted

Have I told you how good it feels to be me,
when I'm in you?
I can only stay clean
when you are around.
Don't let me fall.
If I close my eyes forever,
would it ease the pain?
Could I breathe again?

Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

I am wasted away,
I made a million mistakes.
Am I too late?
There is a storm in my head;
it rains on my bed
when you are not here.
I'm not afraid of dying,
but I am afraid of losing you.

Maybe I'm addicted,
I'm out of control,
but you're the drug
that keeps me from dying.
Maybe I'm a liar,
but all I really know is
you're the only reason I'm trying.

When you're lying next to me
love is going through to me.
Oh it's beautiful.
Everything is clear to me
Till I hit reality
and I lose it all
I lose it all

You're the only reason,
Yeah, you're the only reason I'm trying,
Oh, I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm trying,
Don't want to lose it all,
Don't want to lose it all,
I'm trying, I'm trying..
I'm trying ...
Yeah, you know I'm addicted

At Hyuk's Place...

Personally cooked cheese macaroni

Think they enjoyed it :)

Dyed Leon's hair

She has loads of baby hairs

A fuss (according to Hyuk)

HAHAHAHAAH..
HYUKIE here!!!
yea..
lolx..
err..
dunno wat to type seh o.o

YOYO
Leon here...........

hmm want to type here...
my nu er help me dye my hair... nice nice i hope ba... hahaha
kns la.. ( hyukie here btw..)
hahahaha... err.. intruding of cheryl jie jie's blog over..
BUAI BUAI~~

FUN FUN!!!!!! haha... like to blog in pple's place....
haha... oh nu er go off liao..

You Raise Me Up To More Than I Can Be

I pray I'll be the one to bring smiles,

To the one that never fails to bring out mine

I pray that God will sprinkle blessings of happiness to You,

And mark out all of Your burdens and sorrows

I pray You'll have someone to hold on to,

When being forsaken by others

I pray that nothing goes wrong in Your everyday,

For Your unhappiness is mine

I pray that You'll never run out of shoulders to cry on,

Because You'll always have mine

I pray that Some day when I'm gone I'll be Your guardian angel,

So that no harm will get to You

I pray that I can pretend,

Because there's too much for anybody to understand

Finally I pray for God,

To stand by You when I'm not there

Don't Want A Tattoo But You're Under My Skin

Took 291 down to Jaye's place's bus stop

Met Blue and Janice at TM

Jaye got us into Chocolate Bar to watch some bengs wriggle

Monks was fine

Bumped into so many people

Dp exchanged a bangle with me

Spent half the time fagging and chit-chatting

Lebon and I had a good chat

After Monks ended for the night we headed for Fullerton Hotel

Jaye, Daisy and I.

While dozing off on the ever-comfy sofa

The phone rang

The word "Mogu" blinked piercingly into my sheepish eyes

My face lighted up

She accompanied me over the phone from Fullerton Hotel to the Esplanade

Poor girl couldn't have the night out cause She didn't feel well

Slept outside the Esplanade for the night with Daisy

Jaye played bodyguard throughout the night

Took the MRT home and slept for 3 hours

Mum forced me to wake up to attend Novena Service at 1:00

After the service was shopping

Bought a pair or pants, a spaghetti top, and spotted a nice bag

Spent a bomb

Went Grandma's place for dinner and TV

Shagged to the bone

G'nite

Until You Without You

Always feeling alone, until You

I didn't love myself, until You

I didn't care about life, until You

I've never held a friend's hand, until You

I've never told a friend I loved her, until You

No one had ever held me for no reason, until You

No one had ever truly known me, until You.

Lying in darkness, without You

I don't know who I am, without You

I don't know what to do with myself, without You

How do I ever get by, without You?

Would I have ever seen my true self, without You?

I wouldn't have ever known true friendship, not without You

For You

I hate the way you never answer my questions

I hate the way I feel

I hate the jealousy that creeps into me

I hate the tiredness I'm feeling again

Fine about that.

I pray she'll be the one who'll always make you smile

I pray she'll be the One for you

I pray for your happiness

Now may I...

Everything I Own

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew
Were all the years I had with you

And I would give anything I own
Give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give ev'rything I own
Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love
What it's of, what it's of
You never said too much
But, still, you showed the way
And I knew from watching you
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let go

Is there someone you know
You're loving them so
But taking them all for granted?
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don't hear the words you long to say

Just to touch you once again

>>To the late dearest Best Friend

And to You

Life Is Just So WHATEVER

Morning surprises got me risen from bed at 9:12am -

An upset tummy

Having Chemistry paper 2 later at 2pm

Confidence level for this paper is zero


She gave a ring at 9:49am

That silly girl had a bad dream

Lalaland gave her a D7 for English and E8 for Emath

That must have terrorised her sleep


Work's going to commence on the 21st ( This Friday )

I need clothes for Grad Tea

I need money for that

25th Nov please come soon

Pay day

Grins.

Oweee Is The Ultimate Feelin'

1 / Woke up to Mum crying ( Fucking aunts just shut your trap. Thank you very much )

2 / Geography paper 2 was easy ( Didnt study by the way )

3 / Meeting with her cancelled

4 / Turned single ( Don't talk about it )

5 / Not a single bit prepared for Graduation Tea

6 / I need to give it a good bawl

Conclusion : It's an oh-not-so perfect day

It's all about succumbing to reality isnt it?

Tomorrow will be better

One Year Four Months

A year and four months

A girl that never fails to put a smile on my face

Is the very One that I need now

The truest friend any soul could be blessed with

One that attempts removing all negativity

Miss everything about her

The sunshine on my rainy day

An angel from God

+Marion+

I'm missing you

You're never forgotten

Friends always we'll be

For ever and ever and ever...

Happy Birthday To The Coconut-Tree

A very blessed Happy Birthday to the one and only Lerjun

You've been the best brother around

And I thank the Lord for you

May the Lord always bless you in every road you take

May all the memories we had be kept well for always

Love ya Xiao Ne Zha


>>Been online alot lately to finish up art

Tomorrow's the darn art paper

At 10:21pm I'm only at modification

Oh boy I'm so dead

Anyways

Was browsing through friendster a couple of days ago

This person caught my eye

Coincidentally we chatted on mIRC

And have been talking over the phone for the past 2 days

She's a real good-natured person who's extremely comfortable to talk to

Like she says

No regrets knowing her

Tomorrow Indeed Gets Better, Thus Today

No more do I hopelessly pine for You

Had fun with loving friends today

Cosmetics drive them loony

How they wish cosmetics were out of their lives

Nique and Hyuk both enjoy messing up femme's hair

Today is the day when someone outside home calls them by their real names

Love their company so much

Awesome people -

Best friend CCH / Nique / Hyuk / Pat

Anyway,

Went down To The Best Friend's place today

Had pizza / wings / cake

The Best Friend's Mum broke down while walking me out

Attempted consoling her

Advicing her to keep her faith strong

God has His reasons to everything

Doesn't He?


Always In My Heart #10

Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow

New Shots

o2112oo3 Suntec With Pat Leon & Leslie


Countless incidents occurred

Shan't elaborate

O level commences officially tomorrow

All the best to all taking examinations

Do your bests

God bless all

Happy 2nd Month Mogu :)

Patience Is The Key

I swear I detest the way You pretend nothing has happened

After everything has

And the smiles make their comeback

You make my heart dance to a perfect waltz

It skips a beat each time You're around

Melts a million degrees every occasion I hear Your voice

Seeking more hope from every single word You utter

Striving on with this much strength is difficult

You've reformed me,

Moulded this imperfect girl who strives to attain perfection

Tracks You used to hum to me

"Goodnight, sleep tight, sweet dreams, Mogu, Darling" all deceased

Reminiscing everything We once owned

Engrossed in details of You

I could never brush off this feeling the way You do

Never have I halted attempting to scan Your thoughts

Miss the way you send breathtaking sensations to me

By the littlest "I miss You"s

You restricted me from turning to others

Or they shall bear drastic consequences

All that's necessary to me now is to regain confidence

Is that You require me in Your life

Occasionally

All You have to do

Is to put aside a few moments

And spare some thoughts just for me

If all You coveted for was for me to hang on the way I do

Success belongs

You're too aware that I'm astray in life without You

It's this simple ;

I'm still loving You

You're precious to me

It's Your Love

Dancin' in the dark

Middle of the night

Takin' your heart

And holdin' it tight

Emotional touch

Touchin' my skin

And askin' you to do

What you've been doin' all over again

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know

What it is that won't let me go

It's your love

It just does somethin' to me

It sends a shock right through me

I can't get enough

And if you wonder

About the spell i'm under

Oh, it's your love

Better than I was

More than I am

And all of this happened

By takin' your hand

And who I am now

Is who I wanted to be

And now that we're together

I'm stronger than ever

I'm happy and free

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think I can keep it all in

And if you asked me why I've changed

All I gotta do is say your sweet name

Oh, it's a beautiful thing

Don't think i can keep it all in

I just gotta let you know

What it is that won't let me go

It's your love

It's your love

I'm One Screwed Fucker

The number of days toward the O's can actually be counted,

With less than 2 hands?

To add on I haven't hit the books

Cheryl oh cheryl you're dead meat



Loathe the way You make me capitulate

Then tumble so hard on my very own emotions

I Drive Myself Crazy causes my whimpers

I've displayed every known approach to channel my way back

Back to your senses

Back to your heart.

If there should be any soul that I should love

That soul is none other than You

The love I have for You hasn't reduced

It thrives and lingers

I'll wait and wait and wait...

Happy Birthday Uncle Jules

My one and only uncle

Name a friend who can brighten the day

One that never fails to annoy all

The hottest bitch-butch in school

My partner in addiction for sappy songs

But hey

Forever the cool dude

Happy birthday to you

Friends we always will be

Regardless of any distances we'll be apart in the future

Beautiful memories we share

May this birthday be joyous and blessed

May the Lord always be with you in this path called Life

Love ya PIP Jules

Happy Birthday once again :)

If It's Wrong To Love You, Then My Heart Just Won't Let Me Right

"You have received one new voicemail" from 0

Miraculously that drew smiles to my face

'Miss You' were your last words to me the night before

You matter unabridgedly

I've become solely dependant on my expectations

There's something about You,

That causes me to yield to every negativity eventually

A sentimental fool that's what I am

Uncountable occasions I've promised You I Love You

Factually, No

No amount or depth of words will possibly describe the magnitude of this

Every moment awake now lives a night mare,

Being without You results this way

This is as hard as it gets

But I'll wait

If Forever is what it takes

Let it be so


I Love You Mogu

New links put up under Shots (Pictures)

*Changi Visit & Bbq
*Last Day Of School 2003
*A Day With Joe, Haowei and Pat


I'll Take The Tears

Don't speak, seal your lips

Please don't say a word

Maybe I won't remember the words I have not heard

I see that you're in love, I know it's not with me

But I don't want the truth to haunt my memory

It's never too late to relight the fire

It never stopped burning for me

The flame, it never died inside of me

How is it now that I can tell you I love you

How is it only now that it's too late

What can I do, the love that we had is torn in two

So you take the smiles from all of our years and I'll take the tears

I sit and reminisce, of times that we once shared

You gave me more than love

But never thought I cared

By feelings were all for you

Althogh it didn't show

I only told you the day you let me go

It's never too late to relight the fire

It never stopped burning for me

The flame, it never died inside of me

How is it now that I can tell you, I love you

How is it only now that it's too late

What can I do, the love that we had is torn in two

So you take the smiles from all of our years

and I'll take the tears

Now I realise that your not mine

But I'm hoping the pain will ease in time

Although your leaving, I won't say goodbye

Because I know your here with me inside

How is it now that I can tell you i love you

How is it only now that it's too late

What can I do the love that we had is torn in two

So you take the smiles from all of our years

And I 'll take the tears

My All

I am thinking of you

In my sleepless solitude tonight

If it's wrong to love you

Then my heart just won't let me right

Cause I've drowned in you

And I won't pull through

Without you by my side

I'd give my all to have

Just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to feel

Your body next to mine

Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

Baby can you feel me

Imagining I'm looking in your eyes

I can see you clearly

Vividly emblazoned in my mind

And yet you're so far

Like a distant star

I'm wishing on tonight

I'd give my all to have

Just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to feel

Your body next to mine

Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

I'd give my all to have

Just one more night with you

I'd risk my life to feel

Your body next to mine

Cause I can't go on

Living in the memory of our song

I'd give my all for your love tonight

Give my all for your love

Tonight

[Everything fucking hurts]

You're Distant, Yet I Love You A Little More Every Day

Beach, Telephone Booth, Chalet, Liquor, Cycling, Fag, Friendship, Love

All these recollects the past we shared

It bites into me to grasp the hurting truth

Once again You're back on nicotines

What ever I ever said

Never did You take into consideration

No amount of concern would make Your heart be set with mine

The pricks never cease

The affection from me to You thrives

Quote "The Star Would Never Leave The Sky, Neither Would I Leave You"

Positivity is bliss

However promises which cannot be carried out,

Should never be made

I need to master more determination

To burrow my way to that perfect slot in Your heart

I Miss You

You know I Love You and always will


To Nique

Thanks for your company

It was superbly comforting

I've always appreciated you

Will always be here for you =)

Will You Back To Be The Way We Were Before?

The number of I Love Yous abate these days

But that never meant that I've ended ties

That never proposed that I've let go

I'm still perservering for You

Veraciously I cannot survive without You

You deem I've given up

Has it ever dawned on You that it's just a matter of expressing how You

feel?

I'm missing to the extent of pangs in the heart

I'm loving You as much as ever

My baby

Forever

Dust In The Wind

I close my eyes,

Only for a moment and the moment's gone

All my dreams,

Pass before my eyes, that curiosity

Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind

Same old song,

Just a drop of water in an endless sea

All we do,

Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind

Don't hang on,

Nothing last forever but the earth and sky

It slips away,

And all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind

Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind

Take Me To A Higher Place, Won't You?

I'm hanging on at the edge of this cliff

The highest cliff I've ever stretched my will for

Are You prepared?

To watch me sink into neverending woe?

The doubt dwelling in me takes away all determination

The days without You around has been too tedious

I just break down and weep to my heart's content

Attention I receive are from everyone but You

Baby why aren't You here?

Is That Star You?

It's been an interminable 1 Year 3 Months

If life was a bird

God should have let You set your wings out to the infinite heavens

If love was happiness

You have catered me with plenty

I don't want to subsist without You

Very soon

Years will pass me by

And not a single day will You be present

Numerous obstacles coincide

Yet the remembrance of You lingers vividly in my senses

We chanced upon a star

She mentioned it was You watching from paradise

The Star twinkling up there in solidarity

Is that Star You?

Together nothing is impossible

Up in the heavenly paradise is next we shall encounter again

Till then...

You've never been forgotten

I'm still missing You

My Best Friend,

Marion

Timorousity Of Loneliness


Dread the uncomfy sensation of loneliness

It's is not a single day

That the array of my thoughts doesn't consist of You

Ah..

Tomorrow will be yet another

The torment of longing for the other half

Desires tranpose to obsession

The times without You transcends me

As if eternity was hell itself

The need for You grows

I've become unmitigatedly dependant on your love

Every occasion when loneliness besets

I stumble on reasons to blame You for neglection

This is Me

Fervently in love with You



//You Light Up My Darkened Days

Never Let The Heart Speak Too Easily

Fingers froze

Contemplating on clicking the 'Send' button

Then voila

"Your email has been sent"

Now I sit by and await her respond to it

Pondering over the reasons on my obsession with You

I need You right beside me

I'm feeling blue

From the absence of You

Will You be here?




//My World Crumbles When You Are Not Here

Furiousity Is Temporary, Patience Persists

We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect
We apprehend it just as much by feeling
Feelings which God grants as much privileges as love.
Adapt to slowing down
Before one can take no longer of the world's gravity
And result only in breaking down.
Goodbyes sting
Ever hard to let go
Never allow destiny take over
All it ever did was to take away everything there is to you
I can do anything I like
I get anything I want,
All I have to do is to keep my beliefs going strong
Nothing decides impossibility until one perishes
What I thought would never come true,
Did.
You were a dream come true
Yes the night before haunted me
With reflections of the Past
Clearly, paranoia describes me
Sleepless night last night
Every minute that thoughts of You made entrance
I tossed a turn
Clearly I'm finding it harder and harder to live without You
Not that I am
But it's the fear that keeps coming back
The messages last night
The call this morning
Overlayered doubts and fears
All the love I've ever dreamed of is the love You give
We have conversations on Forever
Our forever that is.
And so darling,
What I'm trying to say at the end of this is :
Anger doesn't exist in my vocabulary for You
You have moulded me into a better person
Into one who yearns to be her best
Just for You.
This is how badly I wish to keep You for always
It is every I Love You I say to You that I truly mean

//I would rather hurt myself than to ever make You cry

I Can't Decipher Which Comes First, You Or You

Once again
I have my ass back rooted onto the seat in front of the blog window
The familiar fragrance of the rain lingers in my breathing
Thus causing me to turn nostalgic
Recalling anything that happened today.
Mission Retreat wasn't what I had in mind at all
Dances didn't intrigue me
If I were to look at it as a mission retreat
Each and every one of us were given heart shaped cards
We were suppose to fill in our heartfelt Thank Yous and Sorrys
To Friends.
Serena took Us on this psychological cum spiritual flash back
In my case,
It'll be 10 years worth of memories
So gonna miss KC then
Anyway
Gf gave me a call straight after school was over
Love the feeling whenever I hear her voice
Or simply just receiving the simplest sms from her
Clueless what I'll be without her
Oh yah
Did You know

I Love You

So

So

Much

Things To Accomplish By Tonight :
1. Literature Julius Caesar Essay
2. Study for Sng's Math Test on Statistics & Probability
3. Revise Geography
4. Reflect guiltily on my prelim results

Jeff + Cheryl = Forever

Devi was at it again
Irritated me big time
And again
Bf wasn't present
Starting to miss that girl
Reen and I have plans to buy this digital camera after O's
Budget = $300?
Planning to get the black one
Reen's mind's set on orange
The Felicia Low finally hung up The Paintings at the gallery
Quite embarrassing and awkward when she was standing on the ladder
She didn't realise there was cleavage from where I was standing
I simply shifted to another position to avoid eye sores
Well well
The Miss Low is afraid of falling off the ladder
Squealed like a lady
Not her at all.
Was trying to hook the nylon string onto the wooden plank
Repeated make the same mistake of taking the wrong hoop
Jun was laughing?
Jun Sara YuYing helped with the shifting
Thanks guys
And of course
Won't leave The Gf out
That girl
Used her handphone during exams
Got into trouble with the teacher
Dad had to go to her rescue
Tsk
Hope her paper's not that tough
Love You so much.

//I Don't Ever Spend A Moment Apart

Lost in You

Guilty backtracks dreamily
Guilt within suppresses me
Numerous tasks and obligations to accomplish
Yet it seems impossible to surpass this stage -
Missing Her.
The person who captured my entire being
The person who draws a smile out of every drop of tear wept
Is the very person who never fails to force everything out of me
My best, my tears, my utmost concern, the depression
Priorities switched
Lead me into the right direction
A positive mindset is all I ever need to get through with Life
But even that I can't promise success
I'm not who I was
Is it just about possession of the other half?
Is it plainly Love?
Or does it consist of both?
The One whose attention I yearn for
Is the only One who doesn't satisfy me with enough.
Rebel lives in her
She neither obeys nor heeds
Am I just some official standby worrier
Or am I The Gf she truly loves?
Heart to heart conversations end up futile
I want to understand
Not just be aware
My love for You changes for the increase every single day
And yes
I love You
Nothing will ever change that
I turn to God
In times like these
Confusion, depression and misdirection
Keep the little faith I'm left with hanging there

Argh Cheryl you fucking mug
29 days left

*Look outside the window
If the branches swing gently in the wind
Then the one you love
Is loving you, too
Open your ears
If you hear your heartbeat
Then the person you love
Is loving you, too
Close your eyes
If there ¡s a smile on your lips,
Then the person you love
Is loving you, too*


//I never want to create those sighs from the Angel I'm loving

It's much deeper than it seems

Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug
-Chants-
Jaime failed me the last minute
Over Time she says.
So tuition's tomorrow
Countdown to 'O' Levels : 30 more days

Ours is a relationship noone can comprehend
People judge You
Never will I do that
They doubt your ability and will to return my love
I think otherwise
You think loneliness haunts me
No it doesnt
It's only about the difficulty in expressing it
But
One thing You do not know
I am aware of how You feel
Ending it all would seem the best solution to all problems
But we know neither of us can do without each other
Once bitten twice shy
Never will I want to be close to losing You again
Obstacles are inevitable
They are little trials for us to persevere through
Everything I do is for You.
Stress may have gotten into You
You have no idea how to cope
Let's do this together
I'll always be here for You
You're the dearest to me

//If Loving You With All My Heart Is A Crime, Then I'm Guilty

If

If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why can't I paint you?
The words will never show the you I've come to know.
If a face could launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go?
There's no one home but you,
You're all that's left me too.
And when my love for life is running dry,
You come and pour yourself on me.

If a man could be two places at one time,
I'd be with you.
Tomorrow and today, beside you all the way.
If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I'd spend the end with you.
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away

Went back to school
Fix up my art pieces
As soon as I started to drill into my acrylic piece
The drill ran out of battery
Being the impatient girl I am
I left for airport
Jazz was late for more than an hour
Thanks alot =/
Taught Jazz a lil bit of Emath
Jazz ended up writing 'Jazz Loves Janice' on the back page of her English book
Revising through Geography
But got distracted
Missed Her
Felt like seeing Her
So Jazz and I took a bus down to Her place
Jazz wanted to meet Janice so we headed to Hougang Mall
Dear was cold to me from Her place to Hougang Mall
But she couldn't resist not being intimate with me
I was assured that I would never be left
It was just a case of not being able to express herself
I love You no matter what
Walked me all the way to her granny's
Then She walked home
Me?
Took 81 back
Poured horrendously
Ended up drenched
Missing Gf now
She changed the topic just now
To this :

[00:56] *** BluE_blUe changes topic to " [I]cY_bLuE.wO ai Ni Yi sHeNg Yi SI ... LaO pO.[c]_bErYL "

//My world revolves around You

Happy One Month Anniversary Dear !!

Once again
I wanna announce to the world (actually all those reading this only)
I love my Gf
More than anything else
Today's the First Month that we've been together
She had detention
We didn't get to meet up today
Let my imagination run wild again
I miss You
Thus having me worrying right from the minute her exams ended
Anyways bf wasnt in school today
So I replaced that vacant seat again
Attended Ngee Ann's Mass Comm and Business talks today
Sp's business courses seem monotonous.
The representative lecturer couldn't stop on his lame soccer passion
Headed to parkway later to finish up The Class' page for the year book
Loads of pictures put up
Still worried for Jeff
Hoping she'll be home soon
I miss You.


Stay

You say I only hear what I want to
You say I talk so all the time so

And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you
Yeah yeah, I missed you

You say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard, don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
To anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative, no no no

So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song:
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
Dying since the day they were born
Well, well, this is not that
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever
But that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you

You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave"
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you

You said, "you caught me cause you want me and one day you let me go"
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay"

You say I only hear what I want to

Happy Children's Day !!

The bells rung
Here we all are
Another month forward in our lives
Another step closer to the future
A day more,
Marks out First Month being together
Quick isn't it?
Didn't attend school again
School's having poly talks
Totally forgot about that
Damn
Jeff's still soundly in bed
While I'm awake
Attempting to cramp Chemistry into my head
Know what?
I miss her so much
Gonna do something sweet for our First Month Anniversary
Have no idea what actually
But hey
Will do anything to let her know
She'll always be loved by me
Being with her,
Makes me feels that forever isn't impossible
I love her
She loves me
That's all that matters


//I will start every beginning with You, and end only at Forever

The one You should call was standing here all along

School turned out bad.
Results weren't what I had in mind at all
Utterly disappointed with myself.
Reen Fizah and Maira had a good chat today
Took pics during Chemistry
Smiles were god damned cheesy
Sat at bf's place cause her place was vacant.
Met Dear Jazz and Janice at the airport
Arranged to meet up to study
Turns up in the end
The Both of us spent most of the time reconciling.
10:01pm - Got home
Planning not to attend school tomorrow
She planned so too
Seriously need her to study hard
So that after that we'll spend all the time with each other
Without guilt.
Meeting her today meant everything to me
Left the airport at 9pm
Jazz sent Janice home
While dearest sent me home =))
First time brought me right to the lift lobby
Was afraid to hold on to my hand
In case The Mum saw
( You see, I told her of the consequences of The Mum catching me holding her hand )
I miss her already
Reluctant to let go of her hand
Wish we never had to part
Dearest was talking to me on the phone
Being persistent on going online after resting awhile
When she's awfully tired
She ended up so sleepy to the extent of replying only 'ya..' repeatedly
How cute that dearling is.
Silly you
Don't apologise for not being able to accompany me chat
You're tired so you have to rest
I understand alright dear?
*hugs tight
Love you more than words can ever say
Hopefully I'll get to see you tomorrow again


//Everything's alright now, that's all that matters

Giving up must never even be the last straw

Yes yes yes
Was close to giving up
But fortunately,
I'm lucky
My gf loves me =))
Sleep was haunted by migranes,
And thoughts of losing her again
Didn't go school today
Not looking forward to getting back prelim papers.
Went to some foot reflexology centre for fun
Ended up I couldn't undergo any massages
All thanks to The Time Of The Month.
Thank God
Hate massages
Cramps are murdering me.
Early this morning 1+am
Gf sent me this voicemail
Swear it's so sweet
Causes giggles
Love her so much.
Yesterday was probably the worst in my entire life
Reason being,
I was on the verge of giving her up
Mind kept astraying to the thoughts of being gone for good
Me being benovalent caused more grief
But truth is that
Life will aimless and pointless
If there is no Her.
Heart just gets soft once she comes back into the picture
The mistakes would vanish
And never be resurfaced again
But somehow a part of me is gone
Knowing I cannot be loved whole heartedly
Insecurity builds outrageously within me
The confidence I had diminishes
Will this ever happen again
Could you promise me I'll never come to a day
When you take away all that I have? - You
I'm lost in doubt
The disgustingly familiar feeling I had before I met You
Pessimistic thoughts flood me
All you told me was to never give you up
Cause it is I you have chosen
Don't take back your decision ever
I beg of you..


\\I wish I could carry your smile in my heart, For times when my life seems so low

With all the miles that separate, disappear now that I'm dreaming of Your face

In pain
Cramps has gotten into me
Explains the mood swings I've been getting for the past few days.
Will You Wait For Me plays
Stilll misses that best friend,
So badly.
A few people I wish to see so badly now
That best friend and that gf's two of those few.
Here to rabble on me missing the gf again
Every second apart from her feels a drag
It frightens me to be aware that the ex insists on having her back.
Never ever leave
Cause nothing would be left here for me then

There's nothing else to live for

*I promise You forever

I wasn't mean to love like this, Not without You

Went to baby's workplace today
Then her place
Evening was at TM with mum
Shopping.
-Grin-
Anyways,
Swear Sis' a fucking lousy liar
Had liquor at friend's place
Didn't bother to get rid of evidence
Came back reeking mild traces of liquor
And
Lied to Mum she didn't have any
Later confessed to drinking 'Jolly Shandy'
No idea how Mum fell for that
Obviously it isn't
Sis' in my footsteps in the trait of lying
Now she's rambling on about the day to Mum
Just to switch topics.
Baby will be spending the night at Jazz's
Hunny-Bonding sessions
Pray hard they'll behave
Cause she's mine.
So gonna get Dear a new wallet
Hers is like spoilt.
Missing my sweets so much
So so so so much
She's gonna have her Yr End Examinations next week
While I'll take my 'O' Levels in 5 weeks
Fucking short time.
Mug mug mug, Cheryl

**Nothing would rhyme without You

Never wanna live without The Girl

Attended school with the intentions of getting back papers
In the end only 1/2 a paper was given back - Chemistry
Failed papers 1 and 2 though did the practicals really well
Bf and maomao came to school surprisingly
Reen didn't
She was supposed to bring the Neos along
Nvm
She scanned the photos already
Looks nice
Jeff did this 'Jeff Loves Cheryl' piece of writing
Awfully sweet.
This was a portion of Our conversation on her birthday
The rest and strictly Private and Confidential.

ryl^sad : only She can tame this heart of mine..
IcY^bLuE : ?
IcY^bLuE : tame?
ryl^sad : tAme..
IcY^bLuE : i see
ryl^sad : hahas...
IcY^bLuE : haiz...
ryl^sad : she HAS tamed it
IcY^bLuE : i tame for u lolz

25th September 2003

Went great world with reen beng hiu xiu and bhaf
Had a superific time
Bought this pair of earrings that looked awesome
Later took the shuttle bus down to town
Went to buy contacts
Headed to the Neos later
They looked so nice
Only the machine's timer ran out of time
One picture was not doodled on
Bumped into Kel (the ex) at fareast
Were looking at each other like
'Is it really you?'
But never said hi
Took a cab home
Cab fare - $17
Sheesh




**_You're all I need, I can't be Me without You. I love You.

Brilliant = Me

Feeling accomplished.
Managed to configure and activated The MMS
At last.
Tomorrow going for star shots and movie
People going = Dad Mum Hiu Beng Ele(?) Maomao(?)
Mum's buying lemon chicken rice for dinner
Y U M

Didn't get to see her today
She has english orals
It's confirmed
Her exams commence on our First month anniversary
=(
Won't be celebrating
Nevermind we'll have all the time in the world
Every minute that you're not here with me
I'm missing You.
Anger never lasts
You're always there to soften the hardened feelings
To turn from outrageous jealous to pure trust
Then draw the prettiest smie on me.
Deep in You
There's always the knowing
That I love You.

[23:01] * IcY_bLuE i love u too________^_^
[23:02] ____1314___[j]eff_&_[c]heryl___1314_____

Means the world to me
That love is returned
By her.

-=Ryl Loves Jeff=-

Time check 8:01am
Awaken from slumber
To the reminder that work hasn't ended.
Missing the other half.
Fumbling about in bed,
Mind swirling with thoughts of her.
Wondering when will be the next,
I'll see her.
Would You feel it if I was missing you?
Can't be without you.
Without you,
There'd be no Me.


7:48pm
Gf's ex throws herself at her
Brought herself to Gf's doorstep
'Yes yes I trust You don't worry'
Words do not describe the way my emotions react
The capacity of stress overwhelms
What else can I say
Once again
I miss You
Am I there for You whenever You need me?


\\Just a prisoner of your love, a prisoner willing to be imprisoned for forever

Chem's so screwed.
Most of it that was revised and studied didn't come out.
Wad e hell?
Am home this early to rush thru art.
Let's see.

1. Research work
2. Modification
3. Thumbnails
4. Shading schemes
5. Colour schemes
6. Final draft

20 drawings and 10 colour/shading schemes.
Good lord.
Jeff's at school now while I'm at comfort in front of the blog window.
She's already making plans during my O's.
Never fails to cheer me up and ease the burdens.
Just called starhub to activate the MMS.
Had to pose off as Mrs Lio (mum).
Action Mrs Lio.
The man attending to me kept addressing me as 'Mrs Lio'.
Felt weird.
But hey
It's Mrs Ong =)))
Right baby?
Did a little photo taking set up.
Decorated on this little piece of plain paper.
On it marked 'Cheryl Loves Jeff'.
Used torch lights as spot lights.
Quite brilliant actually.
Cheryl, you are a wonder.
Took pictures of it,
Once the MMS is activated,
Will send it to Jeff's phone.
Will she like it?
Alright gotta rush The Art now.
Missing You so much sweetchumps.
Hope You are missing me too.


9:42pm
It's everytime this time of the night,
That I feel blue.
Insecurities, the waiting, the worrying.
A fool in love,
I could mind less.
But please be careful with this toy.
It feels
Feelings ; Too sudden ones may kill.
Now the insecurity may hold me hostage.
Reach out for me,
Before I tumble over
Into that trap that You set me free from.
Cheryl what the fuck are You rambling about?

\\It takes more than just words

Getting all moody today.
Maybe cause she spent the whole day sleeping,
And I'm here missing her terribly.
Attempt to do serious revision for Chemistry was a flop.
In the mood to swear now.
So fuck it all.
Fuck stress.
Fuck life.

Miss Jeff so so so much.
Love her even more,
As usual =)))


>[20:29] *** c_beryl is now known as LuV^jeFf
[20:29] *** IcY_bLuE is now known as LuV^chEr

Help me.
I'm getting crazier in this.
I love You dear


*//_Losing my senses just missing You


Someone To Hold Me Tonight

I just don't understand
Can't help the way I feel
It's crazy but it's true,
'Cause when you touch my hand
I know this feeling's real
Tell me, are you feeling it too?

I know you're scared to show you care
Just let me show you how
Can't you see what you mean to me?
You're all I need right now

I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody who's holding me tight,

Can't say I know for sure
Can't say we'll never part
Never gonna let you go,
You've heard it all before
But listen to your heart
Give me all you've got, and more

Just hold me now and say you'll stay
Be mine tonight, and then
Say you'll never go away
This night will never end

I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well, alright

I wanna get together with you
Ooh, with every beat of my heart
I'm on fire, what can I do?

I just want someone to hold me tonight, oh-oh, yeah-eah
Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well

I just want someone to hold me tonight.
Oh.. Somebody who's holding me tight, oh-oh, well well
I just want someone to hold me tonight,
Somebody holding me
Somebody loving me
Woh yeah..
Somebody holding me
Somebody loving me
Woh yeah..
I just want someone to hold me tonight


All My Life

I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you
I will never find another lover more precious than you, more precious than you
Girl You are Close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

All my life I pray for someone like you
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

Said I promised to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love You!!!

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I've ever known, your smile on your face, all I see is a glow,
You turned my life around, You picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I've ever known, when you smile your face glows,
You picked me up when I was down & I hope that you feel the same way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too
All my life I pray for someone like you

Chinese paper 1 sucked.
Slept for an hour outta the two.
Paper 2 was a breeze,
Except for the first section.
Went dear's place again today.
Had a very short nap,
Cause she turned to hugging her pillow instead of me?
A heartbreakerish devil when asleep.
That's You dear.
Dear sent me back to Tampines,
Later she went to Macs but I have no idea where she is now.
She hasn't replied since 8 plus.
Went katong mall to watch sis' trial piano exam.
Got my parents both pissed for turning up 2 hours late.
Lazy to blog further.
Real shagged.
Waiting for her reply.
Miss you already baby.
Only Mine that is.

*//_I'm crazy for this girl

EM paper 2 was alrite =)))
Transformations was a breeze.
Problem sums wasted so much time.
Geog paper 2 was the worst so far.
Had to write so much,
So much till my hand hurts now.
Did this dumb 13 marks question in 15 minutes.
Geog's flunked.
Tomorrow's chinese.
Wish me luck!
Bf was planning to skip the chinese papers.
Don't know why she's like that now.
Tomorrow also meeting Jeff after my papers.
Exciting.
Haven't planned where to go yet,
No idea where.
Just wanna see her.
Jeff's outside destressing,
Playing badminton with her friend.
Hmmm
Tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow.
-Chants-
I'm nowhere without you.
Babyyy I misss youuu.
But...
I love you more
=pPpPpppPp


Heaven

First time I saw you girl,
You turn me upside down
I can't stop thinking bout you
My head is spinning round
I got to find away to get with you somehow
Girl I'm so crazy for you
You know I want you now
And everyminute of every single day
I'm dreaming of how it could be
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help
I looked in her eyes now she's all I see
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees please help me

Cant fall alseep tonight
I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when close my eyes I always see your face
I know my happiness is only kiss away
And every hour here in the dark
Every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh heaven what can I do

Heaven, heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm giving my love for eternity
Heaven oh heaven can't you help me
I'm down on my knees help me

Girl I'd give anything if you were here with me
Give anything you want and anything you need
I never thought that I could feel the way I do
But now I wanna spend the rest of my with you
And every day that we are apart
I'm shedding this love here in my heart
And everynight before I go to sleep
I'm praying that soon you'll be here with me

Heaven, heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I looked in her eyes now shes all I see
Heaven oh heaven cant you help me
I'm down on my knees please, heaven

Woot.
Sis' friends at our place now.
So fussy about e dog.
Anyways,
EM paper 1's down.
Wasn't that tough after all =)))
The practices did pay off after all.
Lit was another thing.
Lit was pure crap.
Did the text based essay qn.
What ever I mugged concerning omens did not come out.
Aight 2 more days to Sat.
And I pray real hard I'll get to see Dear this Sat.
Gonna mug so hard for geog paper 2 and EM paper 2 tomorrow since.
Rem I screwed Mid Years by doing 2 questions?
-Bawl-
I'm stressed.
I need Jeff.
Miss her so so so much.
Jeff's gotta work today from 5pm to 10pm.
Sigh.
Cheryl oh cheryl.
What's gotten into You?
You lovesick loon.

Longer

I see you everyday
I guess we walk the same way
To wherever we're going
Every morning and every night
Do you smile to be polite
No way of knowing
I can't explain it
But I'm not complaining
If I'm happy or sad
If only we had

Just a minute longer. Than this
Just a little closer. Than this
I would get to know you
A little bit better
I could tell you
If only we had
Just a minute longer

A moment had arrived
It was just the right time
For conversation
And he asked me
What do you do?
What is your name?
Where are you from?
But before long
We're at the station

And I was so frustrated
In fact devastated
I feel happy but sad
If only we had

I wonder
I wonder what you think about
Do you think about me
Maybe I'm a dreamer
But I just believe
And I know what I see
Forever wishing
There would be another day
Oh if only we had
I don't care happy or sad

School ended pretty early.
9:30am, early?
Didn't turn up for art as I've promised Miss Low.
Hmmm
Still thinking about yesterday.
Miss Jeff so much.
Her phone's run outta money already.
Can't msg me till she has it topped up.
Gonna go catch a movie with Dear Jazz and Janice on Sat.
Hope she isn't working on this Sat.
-Cross fingers-
Want her hugs now.
So god damn shagged from the late nights and early mornings.
This is gonna prolong for the next 7 weeks.
And after that 7 weeks,
Voila I'm outta secondary school.
Off to work after that.
But for now...
Just wanna concentrate on Dear and my studies.
Top priorities.
Can't wait to see Jeff this Sat.
Off to catch some sleep now.
Tuition's 3 hours tonight.
Love you so much Dear.

Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself// Makes me wanna lose myself in your arm// There's something in your voice makes my heart beat fast// Hope this feeling lasts for the rest of my life// *Darling loves Dear*


Here Without You

A hundred days had made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I¡¯m dreaming of your face

I¡¯m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I¡¯m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls, when its all said and done
it get hard but it wont take away my love

Im here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Im here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl itS only you and me


Have A Little Faith

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Just let my love throw a spark
And have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Just give these loving arms a try
And have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me (x4)

When your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
Come here darlin'
From a whisper start
To have a little faith in me

And when your back's against the wall
Just turn around and you will see
I will catch, I will catch your fall baby
Just have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me (x4)

SS sucked ok?
Didn't even have enough time to think of more things to write for the essay.
Wrote crap throughout.
God bless me =pPpPp
Bio paper was alright.
Think can clinch a pass for it.
Not good enough though.

Someone shoot me.
Dear asked me out today since she was at my area.
So yah I said yes we meet.
Took a hot bathe in this dumb hot day.
Resulted in headache once I stepped outta the bathroom.
Hate last minute plans,
I never ever manage to make for em.
Hullo like what is wrong with you cheryl??
Gf obviously wants to see you??

3:56pm
Jeff msged me to tell me she ain't angry with me.
=)))
I love my Gf.
Jeff's coming over to e bus stop at my place.
Yay.
My inspiration and motivation.
Miss you so much.
Gonna go meet her now.


6:23pm
Jeff came downstairs my block to see me.
Held me in her arms the very moment she saw me.
Jazz and Janice were present too.
Jazz and Janice wanted to take pictures of Jeff and I.
Yah it was tempting.
But Dear doesn't like taking photos.
Gawd.
Swear she's Da best.
I'm already missing her.
Wanna see her everyday.
I'll be able to do that after 'O' levels.
-Beams-


Forever & A Night

I never thought I'd be
Lost inside your eyes
Living out this fantasy
But now, with every breath we take
All I think about
Is the love we're gonna make

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night

Until the morning light
Gonna love you
Forever and a night

In a world that moves so fast
It's so hard to find
Something that you know will last
But
When you touch me there's no doubt
That you and I possess
The one thing that it's all about

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night

But now, with every breath we take
All I think about
Is the love we're gonna make

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night

I want you
Boy, forever and a night
For all of my life
I just wanna hold you tight
From now on
Until the morning light
All I wanna do
Is be with you baby
Forever and a night


I love the way you hold me,
Love those kisses.
The way you tell me you love me.
No other feeling can replace those you give.
To tell me I'm it's with you I belong.
*You complete me.

1/2 the class was absent.
Jallz opened her VERY-belated teacher's day presents.
With much surprise,
She couldn't fit into that top.
Math lesson was the slackest ( I fell asleep ).
Did so much art today.
6 mounting boards done.
2 more down and all's done.
Miss Dear so much today.
She's out lunching now.
Smsed Dear during lessons today.
-Lovesick-
Didn't realise SS paper's tomorrow.
Hafta rush now.

Read Nicholas' blog.
Saw this 'evErytime wE got quarrel, shE aLways bring taT cheryl in…..'
God damn Naru alrite?
Why in the world is she dragging me into her r/s problems?
Childish.
-Snubs-

Looked through my fridae account just now.
Dear sent me email.
Outrageously delighted upon reading it.
I love You.
There's no words that can be put in to tell You what You mean to me.


Lost Without You

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind

Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Can't stop the tears from running down my face
Oh

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you


I Could Not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more


Your voice melts me, Your gestures intrigue me, Your eyes seduce me, Your smile captures me, But your love completes me..

It's 1 year and 2 months now.
Does anyone remember the date?
Still can't stop missing *10.
The memories of her still lingers safely in my heart.
Once again,
Life is vulnerable.
What's the point of living it on if it's gonna end someday?
Why bother to live it well when heaven's that hard to reach?
Ironic, ambulances speeding its way to hospitals.
Just as I'm thinking of her.
Consoling others,
Yet my heart's not at ease.
Why do I contradict myself so?
Still mad with God occasionally,
For being this unfair to so many of us,
To her,
To me.
What would life be with *10 here still?
Addicted to these selfish thoughts.
God forgive me.
I never fail to make the biggest contradiction outta myself.
When will I ever see her again?
Never?
How is she wherever she is?
No God didn't give me any clues.
He gave me neither answers nor warnings.
He simply took her away.
Now I'm deprived of a darn good friend's love and affection.
I'm desperate and pining for it.
Want her back.
Never thought I'd ever feel stranded.
Don't wish to be lost in fantasy.
Every breathe I take should be taken away.
I'm wasting every bit of it.
Lord give it so some other dying soul who waits for another chance to compensate.
I deserve none of it.
Every good thing given,
Always gets taken away in a blink.
Why am I so pessimistic?
I'm fearful of losing anything good I have now in my life.
Jeff, friends, memories.
So just take it all away.

Missing *10...

Having a cold!!
Sigh lovesick?
I miss Jeff!
Been in contact with her the whole day.
Love you so much...
Trying to study but can't absorb much as usual.

I Live My Life For You

You know you`re everything to me and I could never see
The two of us apart
And you know I give myself to you and no matter what you do
I promise you my heart

I've built my world around you and I want you to know
I need you like I`ve never needed anyone before

I live my life for you
I want to be by your side in everything that you do
And if there's only one thing you can believe is true
I live my life for you

I dedicate my life to you, you know that I would die for you
But our love would last forever
And I will always be with you and there is nothing we can`t do
As long as we`re together

I just can't live without you and I want you to know
I need you like I`ve never needed anyone before

I live my life for you


If It's The End

Our love's the moon
Our love's the kingdom come
Our love's the flame
Our love's his will be done
Our love's a jewel
A diamond in the rough
But you don't want it,you don't want to take

If this is the end,I don't wanna know this time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go this time
If this is the end

Our love is true
Our love's the rising sun
Our love's in bloom
Our love has just begun
Our love is proof
Of what was yet to come
But you don't want it,you don't want to take

If this is the end,I don't wanna know this time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go this time
If this is the end

It was so easy,we were so young
It's only natural to come undone
At the end of this evening,before the rise of the sun
You're coming with me,you're coming with me

If this is the end,I don't wanna know this time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go this time
If this is the end

If this is the end,I don't wanna know
I just to bide my time
If this is the end,I don't wanna go
I just want you by my side
If this is the end

Nique told me about her Zouk endeavours.
Don't be taken in by sweet words.
Sweet words are simply delusions.
Don't let her deceive you,
Don't lead yourself astray from the truth.
Been doing practically nothing today.
Trying to study.
Nothing absorbed.
Been missing her the whole day I swear.
Wonder when I'll get to see dear again.
Dear must take care of yourself when I'm not beside You to do so k.
Never wish for You to undergo that torment You went through yest.
Can't stop missing You dear.
She's having a fine nap now.
Rest well dear.
Love you tons.
I'm missing You badly...

Got this from some email.
Sis helped me with the CNPing.

C You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
H You are not judgemental.
E You are a very exciting person.
R You are a social butterfly.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.

J Jealously
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
F Everyone loves you.


Stand

Walk in a corner shop
See a shoplifting cop
See the old lady with a gun
See the hero try 2 run
Nothing's what it seems, I mean
It's not all dirty, but it's not all clean
There's children paying bills
There's monks buying thrills
There's pride for sale in magazines
There's pills for rent 2 make u clean
Marvin Gaye, there's no brother, brother
Woody Guthrie's land can't feed Mother

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

A waitress brings me lunch
We meet but do not touch
On TV, D.C. is selling lies
While in the corner, King's dream dies
Go 2 the counter, pay for me and my friend
A homeless man pulls out a roll, says it's on him
The mayor has no cash
He said he spent it on hookers and hash

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand

U will love me, I will love u

Mothers weep, children sleep
So much violence ends in silence
It's a shame there's no one 2 blame
For all the pain that life brings
If u will just take me It might just complete me
And together we can make a stand


(^_^)-=Darling[Loves]Dear=-(^_^) *

Went Dear's house again today.
She had severe headache on the right side of her head.
Didn't wanna see the doc so she just laid on me and slept cause she felt uncomfortable lying down.
Dear was looking through my hp today and she saw many msgs which made her a lil uncomfortable inside,
Although she didn't wanna say it.
That girl ransacked my bag.
Left her place in the evening and left for tampines interchange so I could get dinner for my sis and I.
Dear accompanied me to get dinner.
Then she sent me home.
Missing her already although I'm just back.
Hopefully she's already safe and sound at home.
She looks awfully irresistable when she's asleep.
Love my baby,
Miss her so much.
Thankful I have her to with me.
Now that I won't have to feel lonely and empty anymore.
Dear, You complete me.
Filled up the empty spaces in my life.
You bring a smile to my face no matter what reasons there are to frown.
New word I learnt today : Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism - Sa?do?mas?o?chism n. Abbr. S-M, s-m, S & M, s & m Psychology. The perversion of deriving pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, from simultaneous sadism and masochism.
'Thanks' so much Wenting for being as bold as this.


Love, Me

I read a note my Grandma wrote back in 1923
Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me
He said "Boy, you might not understand but a long long time ago
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none but I loved your Grandma so

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together
Get married in the first town we came to and live forever
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet instead
I found this letter and this is what it said"

If you get there before I do don't give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I don't know how long I'll be
But I'm not gonna let you down
Darlin' wait and see
And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years
But as he said these words to her his eyes filled up with tears

And between now and then till I see you again
I'll be loving you
Love, Me



That's All

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all,
That's all

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter night
That's all,
That's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it's me that you'll adore,
For now and evermore
That's all,
That's all.

Geography lessons today were absolutely futile and ineffective.
Only learnt one bit - the longshore drift which I specifically asked Ms Soo to revise on.
Left after the first 'shift' of the lessons.
Lunched at Burger King's at century sq.
Had an hour to slack around before The Pirates of the Caribbean started.
So we went shopping.
Bought a dress (sounds bimbotic but nah it doesn't look a single bit bimbotic)
The dress would be what Stel would wear.
Even my sis agrees.
Pirates of the Caribbean was super duper fantastic.
Was amazing the way Johnny Depp could act so sissily.
Orlando Bloom looked dashing and gooOoooOd.
But Dear looks the best to me.
Gonna dye my hair dark blonde later.
-Smiles-
Miss Her so much.
She's so tired yet she has work today from 5pm to 9pm.
Dear's not feeling well so she got sent home.
But it's raining.
Pray she won't get caught in the rain.
Wish I could share her burdens.
I wanna see her before prelims commence.
My dear = my motivation.
It's Her that gives me the will to want to do well.
Don't wish to make her worry for my studies.
Just want her to love me and be by my side always.
Like how I want to love her and always be there for her.
=)
Promised Dear I'll go her place stay over to accompany her one day after prelims end.
Ok!
Off to get my hair dyed.
Love You so much Dear!!


Cheryl:
You are a quick study, and can be self-taught. Your curiosity can get the best of you, but you must learn to concentrate. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. Your independence and freedom are important to you. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you.

Lio:
You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You have a great deal of loyalty to those you love. You have much inner strength.

Shu Yi:
Status is important to you and your ability to achieve success and earn money. You have a need to be noticed and seek status. You need to learn the true value of material possessions. You have a natural protection in life. You are always saved - especially from yourself. You are soft-hearted with a charitable nature. You must learn to give the same freedom to others that they want for themselves. You need to learn to give and receive love.


//Forever is Ours to share// But ever forever seems too short// I will be Yours throughout all eternity// I Love You...

Had 7 hours of literature today.
Not exactly 7 hours.
To be exact about 5 only but had so much fun.
Had a tedious 2 hours plus of Julius Caesar till 12:10pm.
Then Gammar drove Krys Anju and I to parkway while Sher Bhav and Fiz took a bus down.
Had KFC at parkway.
We were late by the time we reached back to school.
Gammar drove us back there again.
By the time we had reached school,
Many of them had already left (and caught leaving!! LOL)
At around 3:35pm Gammar had already ended her Unseens.
So we slacked around in the music room relaxed to the sounds of Michael Buble.
Enchanting voice he's got (as Anju said).
Think the nicest of his tracks that I heard just now was That's Why.
We were all waltzing to 4 songs which the DJ (Anju) helped to repeat.
The song was so romantic I felt lovesick.
Started missing her like crazy and msged Dear.
Missed You so much dear.
Wish we could meet up as soon as possible.
I wanna see You!
Dear today went to make her IC with her parents,
Later she went to arcade to play alone.
Wish I could accompany her.
Dear had some misunderstanding with Jazz in the evening which made her quite sad.
Got me worried lots.
No matter what I'll be here.
Even if the world turns its back on You,
I'll still be here by Your side.
Her nose was bleeding just now so she's resting now and waiting for my call after dinner.
Love You lots dear...

:.:Cheryl:.: So in love with You :.:Jeff:.:

19:03

Just came back from dinner and saw Dear's quit msg.
Sensed that She wasn't feeling happy.
Or rather I'm afraid She's upset.
Dear,
I need You by my side always.
Maybe I've done things to make You feel insecure.
But no,
You're all I need and You have provided me nothing but faith and security.
There isn't a minute that I'm not thinking about You.
I wanna work hard to always be the girl You will wanna be with and always love.
I can't do without You and I want You to know that.
Let me be someone whom You will turn to when joy and sorrows knock at your door.
So glad I have Her to be by my side to love and care for me.
Just when I thought the rejection of my whole world was about to crash on me,
The door was locked,
So You opened the windows.
And I love You for that, Dear.
I treasure You for every inch of who You are.
Don't need anyone else but You.
Don't be afraid to lose me,
Cause I'm never gonna leave Your side.
You're so dear to me that no amount of I Love You's could express how much You mean to me.
I wanna love You and take care of You always,
Want to be the person who will make You happy,
The person You will never stop loving.
Keep in mind that I'm always here.
Kk Dear?
I Love You Dear.

__________________________________________________________________________


Baby gave me goodnight call last night.
Slept soundly throughout all the nights thinking of her.
Miss her badly.
Her hp's run outta cash to msg/call.
Mind has been flooding with nothing but thoughts of Her.
LOL and guess what.
She's Mine.
Miss those hugs and kisses,
Miss her smiles,
Miss every single bit of Her.
Okay!! I need to study.
I can just feel the intensity of stress building in me every day closer to the prelim exams.
Promised Her I'd study hard and do well.
Hopefully I will do well.
*Kisses*
I love You dear.

When noone else will stand by Your side, I will...