"You know what's distressing?? It's when you're so sociable and you can't find a single person to go out with you on days like this.."-Beastie-

The skies are outcast and it's supposed to be raining cats and dogs, but I'm only feeling the winds that are blowing into the house. I can't smell the rain, and I want to. Sighs. Oh.. it suddenly rained. Speaking of the devil.

It's a strange feeling, it really is. I've been in the other direction for nearly five years and suddenly I'm claiming myself straight, which doesn't feel as right as claiming myself lesbian. I'm feeling this way because I happened to chat with someone I used to crush on just last night, who happens to be a butch, and I'm feeling all tingly with the things she says to take me off my feet, like always in the past. I'm not even certain if she truly means it all, maybe it's just plain flirting, but it gets to me somewhat. Maybe I'm feeling this way only because my boyfriend doesn't say stuff to sweep me off my breath. It's the sincerity I'm looking at now, and guys sure lack a lot of those. Uncertainty and insecurity has filled me in right now; I need positive mind-strikes. Somehow, I'm missing being the way I used to be.

Don't kill me for saying that.