The day started out with Colour lectures. The minority group is from IMD, whereas the rest mostly came from IAD or ADM. The lecturer wasn't as bad as Richard Wee; thank goodness I didn't get him for this. Had this 3 hour break after that, and so I decided to follow Lawrence and Jason for lunch, where we met Chris Weishan and Stanley. H5 joined us for lunch not long after that. Visual Composition wasn't that bad too afterall. Pek Gek was insisting on formality in addressing her. Bon, Alden, Siyuan and Eunice's in the same VisCo lectures as I am. Pris' LifeDrawing has switched to mine and Dana's. How nicely sorted out now.

I haven't seen him today. You know, there is nothing better than hearing his voice and knowing he's bothering. Sets my mind at such soothing ease. I hope I'll be seeing him tomorrow. I miss him. I miss the times we had. And everyday I'm praying and hoping that someday things would return back to when they were. He's the cause to all my moods, happy or sad, high or low. Noone could ever displace him from how he's so endearly held in my heart. Nothing anybody says will shake what I'm feeling for him. Just looking at him feels like my fears had all shattered a million hectares away from where I'm standing. It's crazy, isn't it, the impulse? It's crazy how my blood rushes to my head everytime he speaks to me, and how my heartbeat flutters in quick beats. It's weird how my fingers turn cold as I think of him and type, and it's weird how I want him to know how much I need to know I love him, yet I dare not due to so many goddamn reasons. I get so obsessive with him and with loving him, that his messages will always be at the top of the inbox messages list, so that his name will be the first when I open my inbox. It's disappointing, when I've waited an entire day for you to send a bit of love or concern, and non shows up, not even in my phone. It's irritating when when I think of him, nothing wise churns out from my so-called wide vocabulary. I stumble on my words and I fall down on them, and I can only focus on him and him alone. It's stupid when I type all these entries dedicated to him, yet he will never discover even the site (I would never allow that). It's amazing how one single sign of lost of interest I feel from him can affect my mood for days. It's not normal, that he's turned me down this many a times, and yet all I'm doing is to love him even more than the day before, and I'm telling myself constantly that love will eventually conquer it all, and that he'll eventually return by my side. It's unlike me, that he has inflicted hurt unto me so many occasions, and yet I'm speaking good words for him, and I'm giving a million reasons for him leaving me, for me not being good enough for him to belong to me. All these months, I blamed us for the separation. It's contradicting, when I know love pains this much, yet I remind myself that love will take a turn, and that love will reign and bring much more joy someday. I hate it when I mention the word 'love' in an entry, it makes me sound like some lovesick psychopath, yet I can't help it when I'm referring about him. I don't want to give it all up, I'll never be able to forgive myself if I just let it all go this easily. I'm working hard for what I need, that's all.

Well, after all that's said, can you feel me needing you?