I feel like doing something crazy. For example, standing at the edge of the breakwater at the beach and sobbing so hard, then bursting into hysterical laughter and being happy that I cried it all. It's days like these that I feel so lonesome with noone to really be bothered with me. Maybe it's paranoia being paranoid. This feeling sucks. I really need to purge my dinner, chocolates and logcake out, and I need free my thoughts; I need to cry. Christmas day itself was too conventional and monotonous for celebrating joyously, then again maybe it's just the lacking of substantial company. I can't believe this feeling I'm getting from your treatment towards me. It's the third time chemistry frictioned, and it's never happened before. In a way, I'm fearful of all the negative events repeating.

Truth is, I'm never happy, and that I'm selfish. Who isn't?